When Your Trust Goes Missing (And How to Get It Back!)
I pulled into the carpool lane at school and scoured the meager group of students still waiting at the curb. But the face I longed to see was missing.
I circled the building slowly, driving past the bus lane and the soccer field, the gymnasium and the greenhouse.
I scanned the sidewalks and looked up and down the dandelion-dotted lawn. I peered at the playground and glanced at the baseball field. But I still didn’t spot her.
I pulled back around to the front doors and parked once again. The small crowd was dwindling quickly as parents straggled in and waved at their waiting ones.
I rolled down the window and wished I had someone to return my wave. I looked for her backpack, her violin case, or her deep dark eyes.
But they were missing, too.
I could blame the mishap on a train; but it was really an issue of trust.
We were caring for a young tween who needed a stable place to stay while her family was in crisis. Just five-days into our “yes,” we were still in the throes of transition.
Everything about our family’s rhythm seemed foreign to this precious one—the way we gathered around the table for meals every evening and sang loud and off-key in the minivan on the way to school; the way we played together and prayed together, attended to homework and delineated chores.
We were doing our best to help her adjust to our daily cadence, but we’d resigned ourselves to the often-uncomfortable reality of figuring out life together one awkward moment at a time.
We knew it would take time for her heart to feel at home beneath our roof and we were committed to extending empathy and grace as we encountered bumps along the way.
However, as I scanned the school yard once more, my dilemma felt like more than a mere bump. It felt like a precarious blunder.
“She’s got to be here,” I murmured to myself. “Where else would she go?”
Over breakfast that morning, I’d reminded her of the plan: “I’ll pick you up in front of the double doors after school this afternoon.”
She’d wobbled her head in a nod of understanding as she finished her bowl of cereal and zipped up her backpack.
I’d said it again as I’d packed her lunch and filled her water bottle. “So, I’ll be waiting for you in the carpool lane after school today,”
I’d half-expected her to roll her eyes at my repetitive refrain, but she’d placed her hand across her lips to cover up her shy smile and uttered a quiet, “Uh. Huh.”
My morning litany had seemed sufficient until I ran stuck at a railroad crossing on my way to collect her from school. I watched helplessly as an endless line of train cars chugged by with a squeaky clatter.
The clock on my dashboard illuminated my tardiness minute by minute, and I found myself wishing I could add a simple vow to my morning refrain: “I’ll never forget you. I’ll always come get you.”
It’s a truth my children know by heart because they know the depths of mine.
My kids know my words are dependable and my pledges are true. They realize my intentions are reliable, and I’m committed to follow through.
But the young girl who had gone missing didn’t know that yet.
And as I sat there in the near-empty parking lot school and stared at the place where a twelve-year-old girl was supposed to be, I realized she would never put faith in my promises until she was familiar with my faithfulness.
I blinked back hot tears and put my head on the steering wheel. “Lord, she’s my girl for a moment, but your daughter forever. Please show me what to do”
I exhaled a jagged sigh and lifted my head. Then, as I glanced in the rearview mirror, I saw a small crowd of students standing at an intersection down the street. And in the middle of the pack was a figure with a black backpack on her shoulder and a violin case in her hand.
I veered out of the parking lot and sped toward the traffic light.“I’m here! I’m here!” I hollered as I leaned out the open van window and waved my arms wildly.
The light turned green and kids shuffled across the street. But one stood still and turned her head to look at me.
I sidled up to the curb and resisted the urge to leap onto the sidewalk and wrap my arms around the lost who’d been found.
“Where were you going?” I asked as she climbed into the van. I tried to disguise the worried wobble in my voice, but I couldn’t hide the smeared mascara from my tears.
“I don’t know,” she admitted with a shrug of her shoulders. She dropped her head and refused to meet my gaze. “I waited so long; I thought you weren’t coming.”
I took my hand off the steering wheel and gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. I told her about the train and apologized for my delay. Then I uttered these words with a gentle smile. “I promise I’ll never forget you. I promise I’ll always come get you.”
It would take lots of life together—hours of laughing and talking, listening and lingering—before the girl beside me would know me well enough to trust me. But I prayed that one day she wouldn’t just hear my words; she would believe them, too.
I think God looks at you and me and longs for the same thing.
Hebrews 10:23 reminds us that God’s word is completely trustworthy because He is completely trustworthy.
“Let us seize and hold tightly the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is reliable and trustworthy and faithful [to His word];”(Hebrews 10:23, AMP)
As God’s children, we are invited to trust His promises and rest in His reliability.
Perhaps when you hear that invitation, your heart cries, “Yes! Please! I’m ready to trust God with abandon.
Or maybe, you’re wondering if you could really rely on Him without being disappointed.
No matter where you find yourself today—standing firm in faith or wavering weak in doubt, may I share something I learned from a girl who once went missing?
Trust doesn’t grow in the absence of uncertainty; it develops in the presence of intimacy.
God is a keeper of His word, but in order to know Him and trust Him, we must meet Him in His word.
When we spend time with the Lord on the pages of scripture—listening for His voice and lingering in His presence, becoming acquainted with His character and growing comfortable beneath His gaze —we stop merely hearing His word and we begin to believe it.
We learn to relish the rhythms of his love and cherish the cadence of his kindness. We discover the depths of His grace and the wisdom of His ways. And, eventually, we find ourselves placing our faith in His faithfulness.
Because the more we fully know His heart, the more wholly we trust His word.
And in the soil of our humble trust, bold faith begins to flourish.
Thanks for spending time with us today! We’d love to pray for you before you go. Just leave a message in the comments and let us know how God is asking you to trust Him right now.
Also, if you’d like to stay connected, be sure to subscribe to The Overflow and we’ll slip into your inbox now and then with some drizzles of encouragement and a splash of joy. We can also connect on Facebook or at Proverbs 31 where I’m sharing a story about a little boy, a moonlight promise, and a surprising lesson on faith.
Finally, don’t forget to grab this free download, Praying the Promises so you can turn God’s words into your own faith-fueling prayers. Have a great week, friends!
Please pray for my mom who will be 101 in 3 weeks. She has been waiting to “go home” for many years and is unhappy because she cannot control things. Her mind and body are yearning to be sound once again. It is a weird thing to pray for but please pray my mom will receive the ultimate birthday gift…Heaven
My face is soaked with tears reading this. I strayed away from God for years that I sometimes wonder if He would ever forgive me.
Many years ago, I saw Him in a vision while praying in my room. In my vision, I was standing on a hill and Jesus was standing in front of me. I saw only His backside as His attention was fixed on this woman who was about to approach Him.
She is garbed in a white gown and had a veil that covered her head. A vivid glow kindled in her face, illuminated by such inner peace and quiet joy that I momentarily became oblivious of the fact that Jesus was standing in front of me.
As she came near Him, she rested her hand on Jesus’s arms.
Then just like that, the vision ended. Two days after, the woman died. And a week later, I had this dream, the stars fell from the sky and I heard God’s voice. I don’t know how to explain it but it sounded audible but not like when you hear people speak to you but it was so clear as if it was audible. May be that’s what they say, hearing from one’s spirit ..He told me, ” If you obey Me, I will bless you.
But as life would have it, I did not obey Him and have been living a life of pain, trials and sorrows as a consequence of my disobedience.
But I am now starting all over again. This time ,
I am trying to live my life for Him, to die to myself everyday that I may hopefully hear His voice once again.
I am not a good writer but I have been writing articles that glorify His name, and I plan to do so until I breathe my last breath.
Liz, thank you for sharing a sliver of His story with us. I am always awed by God’s personal pursuit of us. Your dreams and visions, your encounter with His audible voice–all such intimate and intentional moments of the Lord’s pursuit of your heart. What a gift! I am rejoicing with you in your “restart”, as well. I’ve had countless “restarts” in my life as well. Oh, the grace of God to continually invite us return to the abundant life He’s dreamed for us. I am praying for you as you re-discover the joy of doing life with Jesus.
I am really struggling with a secret sin. Something I’ve hidden from my children for years (my hubs knows but doesn’t like.). It’s the only thing I’ve ever lied to them about and is an unhealthy choice to continue. I want to trust God to be enough, and every time I decide to do that it seems like every obstacle possible comes up. Life always throws such huge hurdles to my trust. I’d love your prayers-for the “want to change” to be there, and my past failures to not be so present in my memory. Thank you for today’s message!!
Heather, thank you for inviting us to pray for you in this struggle. Dear Jesus, Thank you for your amazing grace and your unconditional love. Thanks for breaking the chains of darkness so we can live fully and freely in your light. Please set Heather free from this secret sin and give her the courage to turn from this stronghold and hold firmly onto you. Be her strength in weakness and give her the desire to change by the power of your Holy Spirit in her. Jesus, help Heather see the freedom in front of her rather than the failures behind her and make her keenly aware of your presence beside her. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Your writing blesses me! As a beginning writer myself, I appreciate your beautiful choice of words and the way you put them all together to say what my heart longs for I read the devo from P-31 this morning (which is a familiar message I needed to instill in our own youngest child years ago) and promptly headed to your blog. This post meets me right where I’m at in this season. I’d love prayer for being content in a marriage with a history of infidelity and for trusting God wholeheartedly with my future. Thank you so much! xx
Amy, I’m so glad God used my words to encourage you today and meet you in a personal way. I’m honored to pray for you——- Dear Jesus, Continue your healing work in Amy’s marriage and give her YOUR JOY in this season of her life. Open her eyes to your relentless pursuit of her heart. Woo her with your never-failing love, and fill her empty places with your deep delight.Speak truth over Amy today– remind her she is cherished and celebrated by YOU. Give Amy courage to trust you fully with her future and may her story bring your glory as her life points others to your goodness and your grace. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
I so needed this reminder today. Yesterday the call I was waiting for came, giving direction for “next steps” in my health treatment journey following surgery for breast cancer. I’m always anxious about new medications, yet I had prayed for God to use my oncologist to provide me with His best choice…not the Dr’s choice, but God’s choice. I now must believe in faith as I begin taking this oral med that God has answered that prayer and is providing because He is sovereign and loves and cares for me. Along with this news, my Dr informed me I have osteoporosis and he has given me 3 treatment options to consider. Praying now for continued guidance and for the Lord to clearly direct which course of action to pursue. I love the quote above, “Trust doesn’t grow in the absence of uncertainty; it develops in the presence of intimacy.” Lord, continue to draw me close to Your heart as I respond to Your invitation to know You, rest in You and trust Your promises.
Blessings,
Joy
Joy, I’m so sorry you’ve had to walk the hard road of breast cancer. May this painful stretch of your journey be covered with the unexplainable peace of Jesus. I am joining you in prayer, today. “Jesus, your word promises if we need wisdom, we can simply ask for it and you will give it to us generously (James 1:5), so we ask today for you to continue guiding Joy’s steps as she makes decisions regarding her health treatment journey. Grant her peace as she walks through the uncertainties ahead and make her joyfully aware of your presence every step of the way. We cry out like the desperate man in Mark 9: We do believe! Help our unbelief! Increase Joy’s faith as she continues to trust you, seek you, and know your heart in the days ahead. In Jesus’ name, Amen
Please give me faith that my son who has been alienated from me will once again trust me and know that I will never give up on him. That I will always and forever love him, even in the midst of his defiance and disdain toward me. Give me the strength to bear the extreme pressure of that distrust and defiance and be the constant source of truth and love he so desperately needs. Thank you for the prayers.
Cheryl praying for perseverance-faith, hope and love for you in your wait and praying for your son to know the goodness of our Lord so he will be drawn back into the loving arms of his mama-no matter his age. God purposefully created you both for one another.
Cheryl, my mom-heart aches with yours. Yes! We are praying for your son with you. “Dear Jesus, pursue Cheryl’s son with your relentless love. And quicken his heart to your presence in his chaos. Set him free from strongholds that keep him from enjoying the fulfilling life you’ve dreamed for him. Infuse Cheryl with YOUR STRENGTH as she continues to love her son with a love that looks like YOU. By the power of your spirit in her, help Cheryl to be forgiving, unfailing, grace-filled and kind even when her son is not. Comfort Cheryl with your presence in her grief and sustain her with your love. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Pray Jesus to give me new home, which will feel like true home to me
Praying for the Lord to give you your hearts desires in a home that will mean so very much as a gift from Your loving Father!
Oh Milena, yes, praying for you! God is preparing that home for you, Milena, hang on, hang on. There is a path to your home, and you are on His path in faith. We’re unseen & close you in faith, may you also find praying people nearby.
Dear Jesus, you care about all the details of our lives. Please provide Milena a home that feels like a true home. And, Jesus, thank you for being our “home” that never changes. As Milena trusts you with all the pieces of her story, may she find sweet sanctuary in the depths of your love. In Jesus’ name, Amen.