How to Love the Child You’ve Got (Instead of Wishing for a Different One!)
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Over at Encouragement for Today, I’m talking about that one day my son told me he wished he had a different mommy.
And you know what? His wish has come true!
You’re gonna want to read all about it.
But first, let me tell you about the day I wished I had a different child (okay, the years I wished I had a different child).
And how I came to choose the one I’ve got…
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I remember the moment I realized that my firstborn had been switched at birth.
The mistake hadn’t been evident right away.
But, in time, the truth seemed obvious.
What else could explain this child who was so different than me?
I’ll admit, in the beginning it had seemed plausible that the miniature bundle of soft pink flesh and coos belonged to me. After all, he’d worn that cute little hospital tag around his ankle with my name carefully printed on it, and those baby blues beneath his long black lashes had certainly favored mine. He had a birth certificate bearing our family name and slender pink lips that resembled his Daddy’s gentle smile. And if his first hospital photos had been black and white, they might have been mistaken for his great-grandpa’s mugshot.
But when that bundle of wrinkles and wails morphed into a precarious parcel of determination and drive, I began to suspect that something was amiss. My hunch was confirmed on that day when that two-year-old who had captured my heart in the delivery room on a sultry August night looked me straight in the eye and declared with a stomp of his foot, “You’re not the boss of me.”
And that’s when I knew it for certain– We’d made a grave mistake.
This child couldn’t possibly be ours.
The little boy with his mommy’s eyes and his daddy’s smile wasn’t anything like his supposed parents. His daddy was easy going and quick-to-laugh, but our tow-headed toddler was serious and intense.
His mom was creative and communicative, but our firstborn was quiet and persistent, calculated and determined.
I felt confounded by my firstborn’s temperament and wondered why God hadn’t made my long-awaited son a little more like me.
After all, how can a mom parent a child she doesn’t understand?
Lukas saw life as a race to be run; not a journey to be savored, and he approached every day with an ardor that left me exasperated and exhausted.
Lukas’s feet never slowed. Not for a hug. Or a walk. Or a cuddle.
And as the months turned to years, I secretly wished that God would change him.
“Is he always this way?” my sister had asked skeptically one Christmas as she watched Lukas knock his cousins down in a frenzy to reach the dinner table first.
I hadn’t thought much about my three-year-old’s competitive personality until then. Having grown up in a family of females, I’d assumed that my son’s aggressive edge was merely a “boy thing”, not unlike his fascination with bugs and his magnetic attraction to mud puddles. However, as I studied other little boys who did not replicate Lukas’s drive, I began to realize that my firstborn’s need for speed was not gender-based; rather, it was an intricate part of who God had created him to be.
The more my son’s identity developed, the more I complained.
I found his strong will overbearing, his combative spirit irritating, and his ambition taxing. My parenting tactics in those early years of motherhood swung between my desperate attempts to to tame my strong-son’s spirit and my freely giving God advice on how He could “improve” this child who couldn’t possibly be mine…
Cold you just temper his energy a bit, Lord?
Make him a little less competitive, a bit more compromising?
How about kinder? Could you make him kinder?
Or just a little quieter? I’ll take quiet. If he can’t be kind, can you just keep him a little quieter?
Or maybe you could just make him smell better, God.
You know, get rid of the sweat and mud scent he carries around…
My suggestions continued until one day the Lord responded to my pleas.
It had been a draining morning, and by noon, my patience was tattered. Lukas’s competitive edge had reduced his little sister to tears at lunch time when he’d challenged her to a peanut-butter-sandwich-eating relay.
I’d dried my daughter’s tears and had reminded Lukas that “life isn’t a race,” but before I’d even cleaned up the noontime dishes, my fast-footed son insisted that I owed him a rematch in backyard soccer. After all, earlier that morning, we’d tied our head-to-head match. And, according to my fast-footed son, “there HAS to be a winner…..”
I’d sighed and wished that just once, my little boy would ask me to curl up on the couch and read a book instead of keeping score as we raced around the yard.
When Lukas finally sealed his victory, I ushered the kids into their bedrooms for their customary “quiet times.”
And I collapsed on the couch in a heap of exhaustion.
From behind his bedroom door, Lukas wailed and hollered about how bored he was.
“Mommy, my legs hurt. I can’t RUN in here, Mommy. My legs hurt when they sit still!”
I covered my ears and wished for silence.
“Lord, can’t you change him?” I pleaded as I imagined what it would be like to have a quiet, content boy behind that bedroom door.
But when God failed to jump to my aid with a puff of gray smoke and a modified child in hand, I reluctantly picked up my Bible and began to read the words of Isaiah 45. God’s timely response jumped right off the page.
“…Do you question me about my children, or give me orders about the work of my hands? It is I who made the earth and created mankind upon it…” (Isaiah 45:11-12a NIV).
I continued to read, every word leaping from the old-age text to my heart…
“You turn things upside down, as if the potter were thought to be like the clay! Shall what is formed say to him who formed it,
“He did not make me?” Can the pot say of the potter, ‘He knows nothing?’” (Isaiah 29:16, NIV)
My stomach lurched, and I felt a pang of shame.
Lukas was the work of God’s hands.
It wasn’t my son who needed changing. It was his mommy.
Suddenly I was overwhelmed with the gravity of what I’d been trying to do.
I had been telling the Potter how to shape his own clay (Isaiah 64:8 NIV).
From the moment God had breathed life into my fast-footed son, He’d known the purpose for which Lukas was created. And in God’s infinite wisdom, the Lord had made my firstborn exactly as he was for reasons beyond my understanding.
God hadn’t asked me to choose my son’s unique design. He’d simply invited me to celebrate His handiwork and accept His gracious gift.
I sat on the couch that afternoon and lingered hungrily in the Word.
Lukas’s “sore legs” had found their way outside once again, and two-year-old Lizzy had eventually wandered from her room and started to play happily with the colorful plastic shape sorter lying on the floor at my feet.
After hours of wrestling in prayer, I watched quietly as my little girl grabbed a bright yellow triangle with her slender fingers and tried unsuccessfully to cram that three-sided-piece of plastic into a circle-shaped hole.
Lizzy, I said, patting her golden curls, no matter how hard you try, a triangle shape won’t fit into a circle hole.
She’d looked at me curiously, then tried again, pounding the triangle against the edges of the circle, but the plastic edges refused to bend or fold.
And that’s when I saw it clearly–
How foolish I’d been.
When God had given me the gift of my son, He’d entrusted me with a triangle.
My firstborn was a child with straight lines of determination, high peaks of energy and focused points of passion. But for years, I’d been trying to turn him into a circle.
Selfishly, I wanted my son to roll with the flow better and to be less harsh around the edges. I wanted him to be less direct and bold. After all, points can poke and prod and be uncomfortable when you hold them in your hands.
And so, without realizing what I was doing, through word and deed, and even desperate prayer, I’d spent my time and energy trying to fit my God-created triangle through a circle-shaped hole.
Circle or triangle, rectangle or square, Lukas was God’s masterpiece to shape, not mine.
And so was his sister.
And all of our children yet to come.
That day, with a humble heart, I begged God to forgive me for trying to do His job, and I asked Him to show me how to delight in my son’s design.
Every straight line and poky point, every unbending peak and razor-sharp edge.
And day by day, God has answered my prayer.
One surrendered moment at a time.
Today, I am blessed to have children of every shape and size.
I’ve got smooth-rolling circles and firmly-focused triangles, confident squares and pointy poignant stars.
And to be honest, some shapes are easier to parent than others.
But sixteen years into motherhood, I’ve learned a thing or two.
Instead of begging the Potter to change my children, I simply ask Him to change their mama.
And I pray daily that my Maker will give me eyes to see His amazing handiwork beneath my roof.
And faith to celebrate each gift even if I don’t understand the wrapping!
Because, I’ve learned the wisdom of these freeing words first scripted by mother and author Jean Fleming…
“The goal of parenting is not for us to decide what we want our children to become and then ruthlessly to train, squeeze, badger, and cajole them into that mold.
Instead, we must recognize that God has already designed them… Our job is to see our children as God does and to involve ourselves in God’s plans for them.” (A Mother’s Heart)
I may not understand every plan God has for each uniquely-shaped child who calls me Mommy, but I know that He plans to complete His good work in each one. (Philippians 1:6 )
And I’m learning that God’s plans are always far better than mine.
You see, that little boy who used to chase his little sister across the yard now he chases after Jesus with relentless perseverance.
And that drive and determination that once sapped his mama’s strength now empowers this handsome sixteen-year-old to “run with perseverance the race…” that God has established for him (Hebrews 12:1 NIV).
And, I may be a bit biased, it’s true…but I think my fast-footed firstborn is growing to look a little more like his Heavenly Father each day!
And that’s even better than having his Daddy’s gentle smile.
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Let’s admit it, friends, our kids aren’t perfect and we’re not either!
But here’s the good news…
Jesus doesn’t ask us to be perfect. He simply asks us to partner with Him in loving the children we’ve been given.
Today, tell me what you love most about your child’s unique design and you’ll be entered to win a free copy of one of my favorite books by Jill Savage,
Because every mom can learn to love her REAL life!
Grumbling at being woken by my toddler at 4am and kept up till about 7am, now I know God’s purpose for allowing this to happen. It’s because He led me to your blog as I was trying to entertain myself in those wee hours waiting for my boy to go back to sleep. Indeed, there’s always a purpose for everything!
Have been blessed by your writings. Am reading them from all the way here in Manila, Philippines! Looking forward to savoring your entries and allowing God to use your reflections to speak to me. God bless and may He be praised through you.
Oh wow! You put into words my son and exact feelings. However, this post brings me great peace knowing that all of my children are God’s handiwork. He is the one molding and shaping them and He has chosen my husband and I to love them and teach them the ways of Jesus.
My oldest son- I love his drive, his strength, his perseverance, his spirit. I love that he is curious and loves to learn. I love that he has a passion for music and loves memorizing scripture. I love that he is sensitive and cares for others. I love his smile and laughter. I love that he is a happy child.
My daughter- I love her joy and spunk. I love that she knows what she wants, when she wants. I love her sweet heart, her innocence. I love that she communicates so easily and I love her love of sitting and reading with me. I love that she is sensitive to the needs of babies.
My youngest son- I love his sweetness, his curiousity, his joy. I love his snuggles, his smile, his kisses and his hugs.
You write with such tenderness…oh and your family is adorable.
My first born son is quite similar to yours! I have the privilege of watching to see what God will do with his strong determination, perseverance, and drive. Underneath that “TOUCH” exterior, the tender heart is hidden to only those he truly trusts. I know God has great plans for his life…and I know He had great plans for mine when He gave me this beautiful miracle called my son.
“TOUCH” exterior should read “TOUGH”
I love how different all of my children are-some are organized and focused, some not at all; my son is always busy and into something!
For years, I’ve tried to do the same thing with my teenage son. Over and over, I’ve attempted to make that “triangle” fit into a perfect, round shape. Now I choose to accept and love his gregarious spirit and passionate leadership, wrapped together in a loose bow of tender heartedness. Thank you Alicia for speaking to the heart of this mom….again. God is using you in marvelous ways!
I love my baby boy’s curious spirit. As a 6 month old, he finds everything fascinating! He loves to see, touch and taste everything…except avocados.
I have six amazing children – each one unique. The oldest is a bit dramatic and very serious and hard working, the second is empathetic and a bit of an introvert, the third is witty and social, the fourth is athletic and wise beyond her years, the fifth always has a smile and a song on her lips and the sixth is just beginning to show us a curiosity about the world and an impatience to try it all out. And I pray daily that I can be the mommy that each of them needs!
My children are all adults now & I so wish I’d seen this devotion when they were little! But I know that despite the many mistakes I made, God is & will continue to work the good plans that He has for their lives. They all 3 have very different & unique personalities which I know God is using to mold them into what He desires for them to be!
This post is what I needed to hear. I am that mother still after 11years and I still haven’t gotten it. Letting Him do His work. Triangles into a circle is hard to do but I keep trying and now I am giving up -in the right way though. Thank you.
My son is sensative, smart but doesn’t know it, destructive(takes things apart -with age has learned to put things back together), compassionate, social, thoughtful, determined and loves God.
My daughter is thoughtful, artistic, sweet, compassionate, makes us laugh, surprises us with what comes from behind her quietness and loves God.
I pray and hope they both will have a life full with what He gives them to his glory, that they follow and hear Him in all of their days.
I love it that my child has such a compassionate heart. She hurts for all the injustice she sees and reminds me to slow down and not judge someone with a cardboard sign on the corner.
I can so relate to your devotion and post for today. God is also teaching me how to live and work with the design HE created in each of my boys. One of mine in particular, though, has been quite the challenge. And you’re right, it’s difficult to parent a child who is so not like me! However, when I started to see through HIS eyes, I began to see a tender and sweet spirit underneath all that rough and tough and that God has a unique purpose for how he is made. I love my son’s tenderness and gentleness, especially with children younger than him. It’s a sweet thing to watch.
I just found your blog today… So much what my weary working mama soul needed!
I love my little one’ s love of the outdoors, his precious two year old “toot toot” for the tweet tweet the birds make, and his budding love of stories and the written word. Our lives are infinitely more full with his loving personality in our home.
I love my daughter’s creativity and how she embraces life so exuberantly!
After 17+ years of parenting, I am only now allowing myself to learn the truths here! My children are most certainly NOT carbon copies of their parents, and the very things I have been frustrated by for all these years are the things God has planted in them for HIS purposes.
Thanks for reminding me that God’s plans are always higher than mine!
Beautiful and wise words here, words that can speak to so many mama’s struggling with the same. Thanking God this very day for the unique (now young adult) daughter God blessed us with. She is truly a gift.
My programmer is trying to persuade me to move to .net from PHP. I have always disliked the idea because of the expenses. But he’s tryiong none the less. I’ve been using WordPress on a variety of websites for about a year and am anxious about switching to another platform. I have heard very good things about blogengine.net. Is there a way I can import all my wordpress content into it? Any help would be greatly appreciated!
From being a unique and passionate little blonde small town boy who struggled to fit in, yet was always true to himself and God, our 18 year old now attends a bible college in Chicago. I am so proud of his steadfast love for Jesus and continued passions without worrying what others think. He has had many deep struggles, yet his faith continues to strengthen and his passion for racial justices and mental wellness become stronger each day. This too was not my plan for our little blonde son, but we love him and know God has a better plan!
What I love about my daughter is also what drives me crazy- she is strong-willed. No one bullies or intimidates her and you couldn’t find a more loyal friend. She has had hearing aides since infancy but has never allowed her disability to define her. Her personality makes her mom crazy but is exactly what God knew she would need in the world.
I just wanted to add that this post really touched me and made me cry. I too have been guilty of wishing my youngest son would change. He is homeschooled and it’s been very challenging lately. He wants to do anything but school. I now see that I have to find a way to let him do the things he has a passion for and work “school” into it.
I have 3 children, and they’re all different. Things I love about them…
My daughter- She is very strong-willed and independent;
My middle son- He has a very big sense of adventure.
My youngest son- He loves all things hands-on, and when he loves to do something he goes after it with all of
his heart.
All three are very loving, love to have fun and love to make us laugh.
I’m learning to be delighted in my daughter’s intensity. She’s a spit-fire for sure. This was such a blessing and reminder to me that God has big plans for her that may not include her changing to be the quiet little girl that would be easier for me to parent. Thanks for the perspective!
My son Jonathan has ADHD. Many, many times I’ve been told he wants a new mommy. But I’m thankful to be his mommy. Because between all of the wild times when he is bouncing off of the walls, the Lord will open a small window of his heart and show me how much he is truly growing to be a child of God. It is not easy! But it is so worth it.
Just the encouragement I needed to read – thank you! We have four boys, and the youngest (3) has challenged us in ways I’d not known were possible. Honestly, I think the Lord is using him to teach me humility; my mommy pride was was too full with the first three kiddos. Our oldest just turned eleven, so I am beginning to see how his unique gifts can be used for God’s glory and need to remember my youngest has his own gifts that, in time, will do the same. I also need to remember he wasn’t created this way by accident, and God has trusted me and my husband with the responsibility to bring him up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
I absolutely love this! Just wish I had this information 25 years ago! However, I would love to pass it on to my daughter who is the wonderful mommy of my precious grandbabies. God bless you!
My daughter is 16 now but was abused by a close family member at a very young age until it was discovered and he locked away from ever hurting another child. My daughter was 9 at the time it was discovered. Now she is a super smart, outgoing young woman. She is fiercely loyal to her friends, but we have this open door policy for conversations….she tells me things some that I’m not comfortable with but I always want her to feel that she can say anything to me. She was baptized at 13 and serves the Lord through her life. She never plays the victim card, and wants others to know that through God all healing is possible. She is a wonderful example to me and others.
Oh my goodness! I am so glad I found your blog through Proverbs 31 Ministries! Reading this felt like reading my own story. My handsome, funny, strong-willed 15 year old made me feel the same way so many times over the years! While I still struggle with parenting him, I am learning to just trust in God’s plan for him and in doing so, I am seeing all of the amazing things about him instead of the things that I have tried so hard to change. He is a good friend, kind to others, his laugh is contagious, and his smile lights up a room. I am so proud to be his mama.
Hi Alicia! Your devotional from Proverbs 31 was timely today. I’m so thankful to have read “the rest of the story” here.
These articles are just what I needed. I home school three of my children and they each are so different.! What God taught you about Him being the Designer…it is like when I try to change my child what I am really doing is battling against God and His plan. Kind of reminds me of when the pharosees were trying to stop the apostles from talking about Jesus. We know the results there. They were unstoppable and we’re driving the pharosees frustrated! That is the result I get when I try to fit each child in a space they clearly don’t fit in. Mom’s can be so funny sometimes! Now I plan to relax and let God lead and let Jesus be enough to fill in any gaps. Thank you for sharing your story. My daughter is crafty and sings beautifully and is so paceint with her neice! One of my boys talks allot but it’s always about new discoveries! My other son wants to work outside all of the time but he builds skillfully! I pray God will help me raise them in the bend He created them to function in. God bless!
I’m sorry for the grammar…..we’re is supposed to be were.
This was perfect for me this morning! Thank you. Especially since I am about to face 2 young ones that didn’t adjust to the time change very well last night. My daughter is loving and quiet with a ready smile that can melt into tears in a blink of an eye. My son is energetic and independent with an impish grin and stubborn streak. God blessed me dearly with these two and as you say I’m ever so grateful that Jesus is enough to make up for my weaknesses. Have a beautiful day!
Blessed with 7 children, a devoted spouse, and beautiful country living….I am finally now able to look at each child and appreciate their different personalities. Because of this each one is a piece to our large family puzzle and if one is missing the puzzle sits and waits to be completed! Love them so and realize how fast those little years have flown by! Trying to live in the moment….everyday!
I love that my daughter most often has a temperament like a sunny day. Every once in a while, the clouds gather and darken, and harsh rain falls and I must take cover. But if I am patient, the wind pushes the storm along and the sun shines brightly again. She is like a Spring day.
I absolutely love that my firstborn is completely convinced that he is a superhero. He wants to fight evil and his “superpowers” are running and jumping.
I have a strong willed child. Thank you for showing me I need to just love more and let God work in his life.
I would like to see if anyone would have a suggestion for my wiggly number two son -he’s in kindergarten and its all day/every day (that’s only option) and while he likes school most of the time, he tends to lose focus or get bored and/or sidetracked so quickly. For instance, at circle time he sits for a while but then he has laid back or moved multiple times, then he has to change his light for wiggling. I’ve told him he can shift position but not lay down or distract others, but it’s so hard for him. Plus his teacher is great, been teaching for years, BUT she has no sons only the other gender…I wonder sometimes if she “gets” boys b/c a simple reminder sill do but changing lights b/c you’re ha ing trouble listening to yet another story? This teacher shows videos at indoor recess rather than having playtime and no offense meant to teachers who are tired but the kiddos must have movement. I mean, when it was really cold days in a row where we live, my kiddo about went nuts b/c he’d been at school then he’d had indoor recess which was a video-any suggestions for how to.help my son or how to nicely tell teacher that videos are not OK time ???? Thanks for any kind,helpful suggestions -no suggestion of ADD/ADHD please he DOESN’T have that!
I have two sons, one is a “talker” -we have set quiet times otherwise I’d lose my mind. I love my talkative, very wiggly, cuddly second born, but I do see where I’ve lost patience many times b/c he just won’t be quiet or still! But I do know that he is tracking with teachers b/c a children’s church gal once told me that he may seem as if he’s not listening (eyes turned elsewhere, wiggling.. again:) but then he knows the answer to each questions-he is listening in his own unique way! I’m glad God gave my son the abilities he did and who knows maybe he’ll debate or do other public speaking someday:) I must add my 1st born has been on the move since 9months old-walk then run and stillness thin jumping bean. But I’ve seen him have a sharp mind. He has fabulous memory and loves school. So, though the energy, and the talk( sometimes it’s talking back-ugh!) wear me out, I will strive to pray more over them, and to remember that God made them just right.
Thanks for the devo and this post Alicia!! I have 5 entirely different shaped kids too and sometimes wished they had a different mom!! As my oldest grows, I too am beginning to see how God uses those things that can drive me crazy and wear me out to mold my boy into the man God created him to be. Thanks for the reminder on this crazy Monday morning! Blessings to you!
Wow! What a timely post, I can so relate to wishing for a little more quiet. But I also love that about my middle boy… He is spirited, exuberant, and full of life. He is my great adventure. Thank you for words that were a blessing today.
My son, Michael, is so very full of Jesus’s love. He is 8 years old and he is so compassionate and sensitive. He can talk with anyone and is so full of joy. He is the complete opposite of his mother. His father is not saved. Yet, Michael gently leads in saying Grace before every meal. He prays continuously and many times reminds me to pray with a concerned “Did you ask God?” This child is a blessing.
I have six children and I love how God created each one of them to have a unique personality. Each one has different weaknesses and strengths, gifts and talents. It amazes me how they can all come from the same family, yet be so different!
I love that my middle child can be wild, silly, and say things to make us all laugh.
I love how different God made each of my children! My daughter is creative, outgoing, caring and my son is methodical, more laid back and shy! I love seeing the different ways they play and learn!
My son is extremely intelligent, witty, stoic, confident, and not afraid to be who God made him to be. My daughter is fun, loving, kind, and socially gifted. They both love the Lord and I love them both!
Thank you for the Proverbs 31 devotional today and for this encouraging post. Today I will praying for “God’s love to shine through my holes!”
I feel like this is something I struggle with everyday. When I announced my pregnancy to my family, they were all shocked. My sister even offered to adopt my child because she didn’t think I was ‘motherly’ enough. Three years later, at every family gathering (only a few times a year) I hear how shocked my family members are that I’ve ‘taken so well’ to motherhood. despite their approval, I notice all the time that I am very hard on myself, and my children because I want us to be the ‘perfect’ family. My little girl is everything I would expect a little girl to be, opinionated, beautiful, loves baby dolls, incredibly smart… but my son is very different from me. Loud, quick to temper, destructive… and by that I mean he HAS to take everything apart!! But of course can’t put it back together lol. I have to remind myself to find the positives in him all the time. So yes, he is loud. But when he is sleeping, o he looks like an angel! And yes he gets frustrated easily, but I’ve never seen a more loving, huggable little boy– his tender heart will always reach out to me when he sees I’m troubled or upset. And yes, he takes EVERYTHING apart— but that just shows how curious and intelligent he is. I’m blessed to be his mommy. He’s changing me for the better.
I love the way their personalities are developing. It amazes me every day to watch them become young women, and to see the things that excite them, and the things that make them happy! Blessings in my life!
My daughter will be six next month and I am still trying to figure out where six years have gone. She is very strong willed, determined and knows what she wants and what she doesn’t want. Has a stubborn streak but knows how to get her way when needed. She is also very sensitive by nature and gentle at heart, her innocence is what keeps her her sweet, affectionate, loving self. She is very smart and has the ability to use words in context to what is relevant. I pray that like you I will learn to trust Jesus to work in her what only He can do and that she too grows up chasing after Him and putting Him first in her life for everything.
A desperate mama
I love my daughter’s fierce determination! If she puts her mind to something she doesn’t give up easily. And while my strong willed 5 year old can wear this mama out, I know that God has great plans for this persevering daughter of mine!