How to Live The Best Dream for Your Life
Blog | Family | Growing Pains | Life Lessons | Prayer
Eight of us were crowded around a table-for-two in my grandma’s small farm kitchen when Hannah spoke the words that spurred my prayer.
The kids were sipping Coke straight from the bottle and leaving a cookie crumble mosaic on the old wooden tabletop, and Grandpa Jim was leaning in close so his near-deaf ears could hear the kids’ chatter above the clatter of shuffling dishes and clanking chairs.
Josh asked about the combine rumbling in the field beyond the window and Lizzy told an embellished tale of recess drama.
Luke answered questions about his latest football game and Maggie added shrieks and giggles to the happy buzz.
Hannah sat quietly, picking the nuts out of her chocolate chip cookie until Grandpa Jim draped his arm around her slender shoulder and asked, “So what do you want to be when you grow up?”
“Well…” she replied, her speech slowing to a thoughtful lull. “I really want to be a mommy and maybe a writer….”
Grandpa Jim nodded, his lips curling into a slender smile.
“But mostly” my six-year-old continued, her voice growing louder and less pensive, “I just want to be whoever God wants me to be.”
Grandpa Jim’s wrinkle-framed eyes twinkled with laughter as he patted Hannah’s head with a broad trembling hand.
“That sounds like the best thing to be, Hannah,” replied the 84-year-old voice of wisdom. “Definitely the best thing to be.”
I’d been clearing dishes an arms-length away as I eavesdropped on that sage conversation.
I’d studied my pig-tailed girl with envy; noted the sparkle in her blue eyes and the ease with which she took Grandpa’s hand in hers.
And I’d wondered how my life might have unfolded if at eight-years-old I’d resigned myself to being whoever God wanted me to be.
The kids were beginning to grow restless, all crammed around that table, so I rinsed the dishes and watched the dirty water swirl down the drain of that rusty old sink.Then I grabbed a pencil and scribbled on an old envelope the name of that book Grandma had wanted to read.
What stories might I have lived if I’d allowed my Savior to be my Scribe right from the very start?
I watched Grandpa Jim pat Lizzy’s head of crazy curls and felt my heart swell at the beauty of the moment.
I caught Grandma’s eye and winked.
And as I studied the sunbeams dancing across the dusty table, I realized that this would have never been part of the dreams I’d once chased.
Grandma gathered cookie crumbs with her hands, swept the scattered morsels into a pile on the table’s edge.
And I quietly counted it as grace once again- the way God’s crumbled the plans I had to be someone I’m not.
And there, in that crowded farm kitchen, I whispered thanks to the One who has shattered the dreams that were never mine to chase and invited me to live His story instead of mine.
Josh asked for another cookie, and I tapped my watch to let him know we would soon be heading out. There were backpacks to empty and supper to cook, baths to give and spelling lists to practice, a large life lived out in small and ordinary ways. I gathered children and shoes, apologized for the footprints we’d left on the kitchen floor, and prompted thank you’s as the kids cleared their Coke bottles from the table.Then I threw my arms around Grandma’s shoulders, whispered my goodbye in her ears and herded my noisy crew out the door.
Grandpa Jim stood on the small wooden deck out front and waved until we were a speck on the winding road that leads toward town.
As I drove away I glanced one last time at the little farm house house in my rear-view mirror and I prayed this not-so-little prayer over the lives piled in the seats behind me.
May my children delight in being WHOMEVER you’ve created them to be, Lord.
And will you keep teaching their mommy to do the same?
And will you keep teaching their mommy to do the same?
“You’re blessed when you’re content
with just who you are- no more, no less.
That’s the moment you find yourselves
proud owners of everything that can’t be bought.” -Matthew 5:5,The Message
Do you have a minute to talk?
I’d love to hear how God is growing you into the you He’s always dreamed you to be. And what about all those plans you had? Are there any dreams that God has crumbled by grace?
Sharing God-Bumps once again in community with Jennifer at Getting Down With Jesus
And with lovely Emily at Imperfect Prose.
Oh boy, I wonder too, what my life would have looked like if I would have just surrendered to being whoever God wanted me to be instead of pushing forward determined to live life my way. I pray daily for my kids to be different and not to be afraid to stand out for God, it’s hard for them I know, bc I remember what it was like..but I will not stop praying, for them or me.
To be whatever God wants me to be — the cry of my heart as well!
Great post!