Lessons in Compassion
In the wake of Hannah’s Lemonade For Life event, I’ve been approached by various mothers seeking tips on raising compassionate children. “What’s your secret?” the’ve asked as they’ve marveled at Hannah’s quest to save starving people she’s never met.
Humbly, I’ve had to admit that Hannah’s unusual compassion is not a characteristic I’ve groomed and pruned; rather it is a very special part of who God has created Hannah to be. Honestly, in light of my daughter’s extravagant mercy, I’m often ashamed of my own lack of empathy.
However, I am grateful that God has placed a four-and-a-half-foot professor of gracein my midst. Hannah’s heart for the hurting reminds me that God has given me exactly the children He needs to grow me into the woman He wants me to be. And without a doubt, He wants me– indeed He wants all of His children– to be His hands of mercy extended to a broken world.
So I am studying my daughter more intently these days. I’m paying attention to themes of mercy and hope in God’s Word. And little by little, I am learning how to water the small sprouts of compassion that have begun to take root in my wants-to-be-like-Jesus soul.
This week, I’d love to share a few of the things I’m learning from my special seven-year-old teacher….
This week, I’d love to share a few of the things I’m learning from my special seven-year-old teacher….
Lesson #1: SLOW DOWN!
When Hannah was little, we fondly dubbed her “turtle.” She just seemed to travel at a different pace than the rest of our clan. While her mouth could move a million miles a minute (where does that girl get her gift of gab?), her feet belonged in the slow lane. By the time she’d learned how to toddle, she would waddle behind her big brother and sister and holler, “Slow down! Slow down!”
Thought I once looked at Hannah’s pace as a subtle hindrance to our energetic agenda, I have come to realize that Hannah’s aversion to hurry is a gift. It is one of the key reasons that my third-born has developed eyes to see the hurting hearts around her. When we travel at a hurried pace, the faces that line our path become a blur. We cannot see the needs in front of us when we are constantly checking our wristwatch to see if we are late for our next activity.
In the decade of my birth, two curious researchers decided to explore what personal factors hindered compassion. Not surprisingly, they found that hurry was the number one detriment to mercy. I’m not sure what is more sobering- those results from nearly forty years ago or the fact that little has changed today.
Here’s the experiment in brief:
Here’s the experiment in brief:
A group of students at Princeton Theological Seminary were asked to prepare a short speech or lecture that they would deliver at another building on campus. Some of the students were assigned the parable of the Good Samaritan; others were to speak on the occupational interests of those who go to seminary. Preparation time was short, some students having only the few minutes it took to walk between the buildings to decide what they would say. Others were given a little more time before they were to make their presentation. The researchers (Darley and Batson, 1973) used the path between the buildings as their own version of the road from Jerusalem to Jericho. Beside the path they placed a shabbily dressed person slumped over with his eyes closed, coughing and groaning. Which seminarians would help the “victim?” Would the topic to be addressed make a difference? Would time constraints be a factor?
The results showed that it made no difference what the talk was about. “Indeed, on several occasions, a seminary student going to give his talk on the parable of the Good Samaritan actually stepped over the victim as he hurried on his way (p 107). How much time the student had, though was important. Those who were told they were already late were significantly less apt to offer aid than those who were not so rushed (Clouse, Teaching for Moral Growth).
I shudder to think about how many times I’ve “stepped over” a person in need as I’ve hurried to my next “important thing.” How many times have I begun my day lingering in the Word and then failed to emulate the mercy of the Word made Flesh simply because I was running late AGAIN.
I shudder to think about how many times I’ve “stepped over” a person in need as I’ve hurried to my next “important thing.” How many times have I begun my day lingering in the Word and then failed to emulate the mercy of the Word made Flesh simply because I was running late AGAIN.
My daughter’s slower pace allows her to see and respond to the “victims” God has set in her path. She rushes toward the hurting, rather than around the inconvenience of their need. Her mommy wants to do the same. Perhaps when I master lesson #1 in Hannah’s class of mercy, I’ll pass the test!
I expect to pass through this world but once; any good thing therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now, let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again. -John Wesley
The Overflow: This is what the Lord of Heaven’s Armies says: Judge fairly, and show mercy and kindness to one another.
-Zechariah 7:9
