When the Comfort of Christ comes with a Cup of Coffee and a Bag of Donuts
Welcome to the Overflow! Whether you’re an old friend or a new one, I’m glad you’re here. This is a place where faith is spilled and souls are filled. I hope you’ll linger for a while and be encouraged. I’m over at Proverbs 31 today talking about walking in the rain and learning from Jesus how to step into one another’s pain. If you haven’t had a chance to read it, you can find it here
But before you go, I’d love to tell you about the day a friend showed up on my doorstep and delivered the comfort of Christ with a bag of donuts and a cup of coffee. I hope my story will encourage you to step into someone’s hardship with the hope of Jesus, too. Feel free to grab my free printable prayer before you go, and share it with a friend.
I’ll never forget the day I opened the door to find her standing on my front step with a bag of donuts in one hand and a steaming cup of coffee in the other. I was dressed in the same gray sweatshirt I’d worn all week, and my uncombed hair was tucked under my husband’s faded baseball hat. It was hard to tell if the dark circles under my eyes were the remains of yesterday’s smeared mascara or the mark of too many sleepless nights. And for just a moment, I was tempted to close the door and hide under the bedcovers.
But the woman on my doorstep didn’t gape at my disheveled appearance or stare at the toys strewn across the floor behind me. She just transferred that warm coffee cup from her hands to mine; then she wrapped an arm around my shoulder. “I thought maybe you could use an extra cup of coffee this morning,” she said.
She wasn’t my best friend or a near and dear family member. But we’d served together in the church nursery. And we’d shared countless conversations in the school hallway as we waited to collect our preschoolers.
She wasn’t a doctor or a pastor, an extrovert or an expert. But she was a woman who’d known the ache of empty arms and the comfort of her Savior’s touch. So when she’d read Paul’s words in 2 Corinthians that morning, she knew what she had to do.
I invited her in, and we made our way to the kitchen table. She side-stepped my overflowing laundry baskets and the snaking line of toy cars that stretched across the floor. She ignored the breakfast dishes piled high on the counter and the sticky high chair in desperate need of a wash. She just sat down in the middle of my mess and opened that donut bag with a smile.
My wee ones gathered around her with squeals of delight. And I blinked long and hard in hopes of corralling the tears welling hot and hapless behind my weary lids.
She didn’t ask me how I was or assure me I’d be okay.
She just listened as I tried to describe my heart’s tango between hurt and hope, fear and faith. She listened when I told her about my second-grader who had gone to school and told his teacher that Jesus was holding the baby that used to be in his mommy’s tummy.
And she reached quietly for my hand when I admitted that I didn’t know how to quell the nagging emptiness that was lingering long after my maternity clothes had been packed away.
She knew there were no words that could douse my disappointment; no deeds that could erase my ache.
But she knew this, too–
We can’t offer others the comfort of Christ until we acknowledge their chasm of pain.
My friend knew that sometimes acknowledging people’s pain mean refusing to pretend everything is okay.
Sometimes acknowledging people’s pain means extending grace and giving grief space.
Sometimes acknowledging people’s pain means sharing tears and a cup of coffee.
But always acknowledging people’s pain means stepping in instead of turning away.
Extending the comfort of Christ isn’t about proffering the perfect words; it’s about offering our imperfect with-ness.
Lastly, if you like what you find here, don’t forget to sign up on the side bar to receive a trickle of inspiration in your in-box each month. Of course, we can connect on Facebook or Twitter too. Or better yet, we could meet face to face! I’m scheduling speaking engagements for the 2018-2019 school year, and I’d be delighted to bring a message of encouragement to a ministry event near you. (Contact me at overflow@aliciabruxvoort.net if you’d like to know more).
Hi, i lost an opportunity which would have really improved my finances through my feelings of dejection. i have never felt so hopeless that i pray God would find a way to take my life
Please pray for me. My precious husband passed away two and a half years ago, and everyone thinks I should have “moved on”. He battled cancer for five years, so we became like glue to each other through doctor visits and chemo at the hospital. I hurt very deeply especially today, July 4th, because thirty years ago today was when we met. I keep asking “Why, God?” . My husband was one of the most Godly men I have ever known. Why would God select to take him Home when he had so much left to do to witness for Christ here? The tears are so bitter, as is my attitude towards God. Please, please pray for me to accept what God has done, even though I feel as if my heart has been jerked out of my body and stomped on. This is the most painful agony I have ever faced. Some days I wonder what it would be like not to have to feel anything at all. Life without my husband seems meaningless. I died the morning he died. I don’t see any purpose for my being here, and the thought of facing the future ahead without him scares me immensely. I sincerely thank you. I am most appreciative for your lifting me up to the Lord in your prayers for strength, acceptance, and peace.
I would appreciate prayers for my marriage please. I have been with my husband 4 years and last August I was diagnosed with MS, which changed our lives around. He has 4 daughters of his previous marriage and two of them have been having issues. He has full custody of them. On Father’s day he told me to move out because he needed space. He said his daughters needed him more and that they were 1st priority. Now I am leaving with my daughter and her husband. I miss him so much and I love him so much too. He hasn’t called me or texted me, or anything. He was just cold and dry the last time I saw him and talked to him. Please pray for me, thank you and God bless you!!
May 23, 2018 – My world and my heart shattered when my 23 year old Grandson was killed in a one vehicle accident. I have walked with the Lord for 43 years, but I feel so abandoned and I don’t understand. I need prayers desperately as I do seem to be able to pray for myself. When I try, the only thing that comes out is “why”.
Pleas pray for my daughters family she is a single mom with 3 children they need healing in their home lots of tension from different situations from divorce issue thanks I know God is faithful
Your words of wisdom was so encouraged to me. I really appreciate you taking the time to write these to people who are hurting. I just lost a young woman on our community unexpectedly and it’s hurt me and my family and friends. Thanks
Yes-thank you Lord, this message is for me. I used to run from battle, and complainers but today I’ll be a better listener and encourager.
would love a trickle of inspiration
Thanks Cindy
I tried to print the prayer, but it is so tiny I cannot read it easily. Trying to copy, paste, and enlarge does not work either. Thanks. Thanks for the helpful post.
My husband of 45 years died 18 months ago. My heart is still broken. Some people tell me I should be better now, But I’m not. I still hurt and I still cry everyday. Please pray for me. Thank You
Directed towards Theresa above: I am deeply sorry for the loss of your dear spouse. I understand because I’m traveling that same road right now, although I lost my husband two and a half years ago from a five year battle against cancer. I understand the feelings that overtakes you when someone says you should be “better” now. What constitutes “be better” ? The hurt is excruciating for you, and your tears flow constantly. . . yes. Someone reminded me recently that “time” doesn’t heal us . . . but JESUS does. I am trying hard to apply that to my life. I want to add you to my prayer list, Theresa. Know that daily you will be lifted up to our Lord and Mighty Savior for His arm to be around you, protecting your heart, and making you stronger each day. May the peace and contentment that only comes from God be your objective in life. God bless you, my grieving Sister in Christ.
I was very moved by
what I read on this website., particularly”Coffee and doughnuts” thank you for you advice as to how to help hurting people.
Dorothy.
good morning my sister
what a profound word from God through you to us in Jesus Name…Amen
WOW!
thank you for the lesson
May God continue to bless you
with Agape Love,
Phyllis Ann
Please pray for my family as we mourn our beloved dog. She died unexpectedly and we are all heartbroken. Please pray especially for my youngest as she and Oreo were inseparable.
Some times I don’t know how to comfort someone. Always wanting to say the right words. This helps a lot.
Thank u God bless u
Sharon
Thank you, Alicia, for this perfect devotional for me today. My husband lost his mom yesterday. My children &I just arrived to California to visit family. My husband is in New Jersey, and we both have to figure out how to meet up in Indiana for the funeral. My husband is a quiet man. This is a reminder to me that I don’t have to say much, but I need to be there for him.
Your message is perfect for today. My dear friend is struggling and dealing with her husbands sudden stage 4 lung cancer. I have a broken leg that is still healing, so I can’t visit her. But, I can pray with her on the phone. Thank you.
Our 49 yr old daughter has been diagnosed with cancer in her abdominal area. A biopsy has been scheduled to confirm the type of cancer she has
We are heading for a long bumpy journey.
Enjoyed your devotional this morning.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I happened to open my email this morning and saw the topic of what I need. I just went through a break up with my boyfriend of 2 yrs. My heart is heavy and I feel very alone. Please pray for my comfort and guidance. Thank you.
This truly spoke to my sick, sad heart this a.m., thank you!
My niece Maggie died suddenly yesterday. My sister and her husband are overwhelmed with grief. This is so timely, it can’t be a coincidence. Bless you and thank you.
I would appreciate prayers. I have just been diagnosed with a degenerative disease. I don’t know how I can deal with the financial aspects or the physical aspects. I am a single mom not getting any support from my ex. I need to be able to work and to support my boys. I am overwhelmed.
Please pray for all those struggling with the loss of a child or infertility. They are hurting and need comfort and hope. Thanks
Oh, Kristen, I know that pain. I am praying for each and every mama with empty arms and aching hearts.
Praying for your anxiety to be lifted and to completely trust in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I had a sibling pass away from cancer recently. We started a GoFundMe page to help with medical expenses. It is worth a try. Hugs
Jesus, YOU know all the details of Kathy’s life, and we cry out for your peace and provision right now. Meet Kathy’s needs moment by moment— through your presence, your power, and your people. May she be OVERWHELMED with your goodness and your love as she walks the road ahead. AMEN