The Inspire Series: Thoughts on Leaving and Cleaving and Setting Our Sights Right

When I first met Kathy Schwanke, I felt like a wanderer who had finally found her way home.

Kathy’s passion for Jesus made me want to stop by her Wisconsin farm and soak in her wisdom, her laughter, and her joy.

Kathy enjoys conversation and the deep things of life. She’s crazy about God, His love, and His truth, because she’s experienced the reality: It sets us free.

The more I get to know Kathy, the more I love her heart. We share an appreciation for the simple beauty of farmland and bright blue skies, but more importantly; we both share a desire to follow where God leads and let Him teach us how to fly by faith. That’s exactly what Kathy’s doing these days as she grabs God’s hand and lives the tale He’s writing for her life.  

I’m watching closely. And learning what it means to trust even when God’s story takes you to places that you hadn’t scripted into yours.

I hope you are as inspired by my friend as I am!   Get ready…. Her faith is going to make you want to soar!  

Here’s Kathy…

The drivers-ed instructor said that where your eyes go, your car will follow.

And I have noticed that over the years I can be looking off into a field too long and  find myself veering in that direction.

So when my husband is driving through the mountains, I don’t want him to look anywhere but straight ahead.

Of course you can have a brief glance without rolling off the edge, but generally speaking we are prone to follow where our gaze leads.

 I used to panic if I caught his head turned at all away from straight ahead as we drove through the mountains. Poor guy.

Right here on the heels of our Wisconsin farm selling, my husband has been offered a job in California.

 A job he has been longing for, setting his sights on, as a camp maintenance director.

A longing I thought might fade, but has only grown as his position has often required more than he feels able to give in terms

of energy and time. This job that has taken him to North Dakota since March has required often-times a schedule of 7am to 9pm.

The challenges have been immense with weather and the 90 employees he manages. He longs for more peaceful conditions. And we long to be together.

In these four years or so of this dream forming in his heart, I’ve told him to keep knocking on the doors in order for God to open the one He wants us to walk through.

And all the while not thinking God would really want us to move half a country away from our family-yet knowing He does call people to do that, I yield and I pray and I trust He will prepare me.

I told God that wherever He leads, He would need to make my heart ready and willing.

I don’t want to leave my family. I don’t.

But I want to be in the center of God’s will. I want to follow Him wherever He leads and be willing to forsake anything for Him.

What do you do when you open your hands to God, and for four years try to sell the farm while your husband is looking for a camp job and then suddenly it all happens at the same time

and you are faced with that decision you said you would be willing to make?  You process and pray and fall on your face and stand up and pray…

It’s been a week of soul-searching in the midst of packing and cleaning and saying goodbye to this home where our children grew up.

One day self-pity oppressed me and I sunk under its weight. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t get up over it that day.

But in the morning, I once again turned my face toward God.

He guided me to Isaiah 43:1-21. And when I landed in verses 5-7, I saw something:

Do not be afraid, for I am with you;

I will bring your children from the east
and gather you from the west.
I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!’

and to the south, ‘Do not hold them back.’

Bring my sons from afar
and my daughters from the ends of the earth—
everyone who is called by my name,
whom I created for my glory,
whom I formed and made.” 

I saw that always our home is in God and our children are His and distance is nothing for Him.

Not that it would be easy, or that managing the emotions of separation would be easy, but that the assurance of His keeping of my family whole even through distance gave me peace.

And that “Do not be afraid” He says to His people when moving them into new places…

We are praying for clarity this week. We have a home to go to here if we do not go there, but the woman who will be renting to us will need to know soon.

And we need to know how to proceed with this move that takes place in little more than six weeks with a wedding in the middle. And I do have this feeling that we will be staying,but…

I wrote this to my friend today:

In processing my heart responding to God (perhaps) asking us to leave here and go (I will always appreciate this process of searching my heart and clarifying this lesson)

I have been torn about moving far away from my children. It doesn’t line up with my dreams at all really. But that one day when self-pity was oppressing me, I had a vision of Jesus on the cross looking down at his mother and realized the necessary releasing of all that we love on this earth-down to the most precious relationship. That it must be God and only God who is the apple of our eye, and that all these fond relationships on earth will be in essence cut in heaven, but also perfected in heaven…husbands and wives will not be one with each other, but all will be one as we are united with Christ.

 It is such a large lesson that I know I only see in part and what will be revealed in Heaven will be so glorious and satisfying that we will not long for anything again ever…

And so it is here where we who follow Christ always must land.

A place of surrendering all. The Romans 12:1 sacrifice. Having a heart willing to turn from all but Him.

All the while knowing that there is nothing we turn from at all really when we turn to Him, because everything belongs to Him and is in Him and held together by Him. 

  And He always gives immeasurably more than we give up.

Yes, He is the apple of my eye and the strength of my heart and the giver of all good and perfect gifts.

And I am most happy to report that my husband’s gaze is not fixed on the job offer, but on God, so I don’t fear going over a cliff.

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Kathy Schwanke has traversed dairy farm life growing up and then on to hairstylist,homeschooler, youth worker, gift-shop owner,and is currently pursuing a clearer vision for what comes next in this often wild adventure with God. She and her husband have two children, two grandchildren, no dogs-just flowers.She serves as Woman’s Ministry Director, Bible Study teacher; MOPS mentor mom, blogger, social media sister, aspiring speaker and writer. She loves biking, gardening, cross-training, reading, chatting, coffee, traveling, and photographing all things glorious.

You can connect with Kathy at her blog, Free to Fly, or find her at any of these other places: