The One Thing To Remember When You Realize You’re Not Enough

“You can count on this: God’s foolishness will always be wiser than mere human wisdom, and God’s weakness will always be stronger than mere human strength.” (1 Corinthians 1:25, The Voice)

When my firstborn was 3 years old, he told me he wished he had a different mommy.

He spat the words from the seat of his faded red time-out chair where he’d landed after digging holes in the neighbor’s yard. He was certain that another mommy would understand that the best dinosaur bones were buried in the flowerbed across the street.

I’d remained silent, the angry words hanging between us like the strand of hair dangling over my son’s icy blue eyes. But every piece of my wounded spirit had agreed with my fiery boy. I wish you had a different mommy, too, my heart cried.

Truth be told, I didn’t want my son to exchange me for a new mommy; I just wished that I could be a different mommy. One who laughed more, forgave quicker and floundered less. One who never yelled in frustration or cried in exhaustion, and could turn scraps of paper into a Pinterest-worthy craft and bake a birthday cake from scratch. I wished I were a mom who innately knew how to parent children with temperaments unlike my own.

At first, I assumed my insecurities would disappear in time … that once I figured out how to be a fabulous mom, my parenting flaws would fade. I read dozens of parenting books and studied the habits of moms who seemed to have it all together. But ironically, the more children I had, the more apparent my shortcomings became.

Ten years later as I sat exhausted, rocking our fitful fifth-born, I eyeballed the mess around me — laundry and Lego piles, homework folders and smelly gym bags — and exhaled a discouraged sigh. Then, in a moment of vulnerable honesty, I confessed my angst to my husband.

“I feel like I’m not enough. I can’t ever do enough. Love enough. Work enough. Pray enough …” Jostling the fussy infant in my arms, I felt that familiar churn of self-doubt rising in my stomach.

My husband stared at me, his tender gaze reflecting my pain. “You don’t have to be enough,” he murmured quietly. “That’s Jesus’ job.”

I let his reassuring words seep deep into my splintered soul. In my striving to be enough, I’d forgotten that Christ’s perfect plan for my children depends on His faithfulness, not my flawlessness.

Late that night, when the baby surrendered to sleep, I opened my Bible to 2 Corinthians 12:9. I read and re-read the words aloud.  “My grace is enough to cover and sustain you. My power is made perfect in weakness.” 

Tears seeped from my weary eyes as I let God’s promise spread like a salve over my tattered soul.  

I underlined that sacred pledge with a streak of blue ink, then wrote a simple declaration in the margin of my Bible: “I am not enough, but Jesus is.”

From that moment on, I began the long and deliberate process of replacing my fears with faith.

Instead of spending all of my energy on futile attempts to be a perfect mom, I chose to spend time getting to know my perfect Savior. I committed to reading God’s Word daily and investing in prayer, memorizing Scripture and practicing the habit of gratitude.

When I felt overwhelmed with my own imperfection, I grasped for God’s grace instead grieving my gaps.

When I found myself discouraged by my inadequacy, I declared Christ’s abundance and acknowledged His nearness.

Day after day, I “staked my claim” on the promises of Christ, and slowly, my qualms were quelled.

I stopped fretting over who I wasn’t and began to enjoy who Jesus is— Extravagant. Compassionate. Enough.

Today, I can humbly say that my firstborn’s wish has come true. I am a different mommy. I’m still not enough for my children, but Jesus is.

And as I trust in His sufficiency and rest in His grace, I’m learning to live in His strength rather than obsess over my weaknesses. Because this far-from perfect mommy has discovered a liberating truth — we have a Savior who is an expert at filling holes (even dinosaur-sized ones).

Thanks for stopping by today. If it’s your first time here, I hope you’ll take some time to linger a bit.  If you like what you find,  feel free to subscribe to The Overflow, and I’ll slip some drizzles of inspiration right into your inbox now and then.  We can also connect on Facebook or at Proverbs 31 (where I’m sharing a devotional today about a frustrated little girl, a ripped coloring page, and a mom who learned to let Jesus’ glory shine through her gaps). Of course, my absolute  favorite way to connect with women is face to face!  I’d love to bring a message of Biblical encouragement to an event near you. (Email me at overflow@aliciabruxvoort.net if you’d like to know more).

Finally, friends, if you’re ready to shift your eyes from your invisible lines to God’s incredible grace, I’ve got a free printable prayer for you. You can grab it here: Dear Jesus   And be sure to leave us a note in the comments if there’s a specific way we can pray for you today. Have a great weekend!