The Greatest Gift A Mother Can Give
“Unarguably the greatest gift you can give another is your attention,” Leonard Sweet declares in his intriguing book, Nudge.
I’ve been thinking about that statement lately as my house bursts at the seams with children and echoes with constant noise.
I love the fullness of summer- the invigorating string of great ideas that grow large in little minds, the long hours of play and the short list of must-do’s.
I love the sight of ten feet racing across the yard and all those tanned and tangled bodies collapsing in laughter on the trampoline.
I love the sound of basketballs pounding the pavement and red-stitched baseballs launching off of metal bats with a crack. I love the noisy banter that erupts when we’re all crowded around the picnic table on our hot sunny deck.
I love summer.
I love summer.
For the most part.
But what I don’t love is the fact that everyone seems to need my attention at the same time.
My three-year-old needs help dressing that naked Barbie doll and my thirteen-year-old needs to discuss his social plans for the afternoon.
And just as I begin explaining why it won’t work for my young teen to go to the beach alone, my five-year-old gets his shoelace stuck in his bicycle chain and his big sisters wonder if I can help them find those missing shoes for their Bitty Babies.
And just as I begin explaining why it won’t work for my young teen to go to the beach alone, my five-year-old gets his shoelace stuck in his bicycle chain and his big sisters wonder if I can help them find those missing shoes for their Bitty Babies.
And so I read Sweet’s declaration with a nod of my head and a lurch of my stomach.
For if attention is the greatest gift, then have I gifted anyone in my home today?
For if attention is the greatest gift, then have I gifted anyone in my home today?
I’ve been sauntering through the gospel of Matthew this week, asking myself, “What made Jesus irresistible to the crowd? Attractive to the lepers and the crippled, the children and the Pharisees?”
The prophet Isaiah reminds us that it wasn’t Christ’s dashing looks—He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him (Isaiah 53:2).
And it certainly wasn’t His status or wealth.
So what did people see in Jesus that made them flock to His side?
Or is the real question, What did Jesus see in people that made Him pay attention to every life that crossed His path?
This morning as I read my Bible, I decided to highlight the phrase Jesus saw each time I found it.
Soon, my Bible was streaked with light blue marks.
This morning as I read my Bible, I decided to highlight the phrase Jesus saw each time I found it.
Soon, my Bible was streaked with light blue marks.
It seems that Christ was constantly paying attention to the face right in front of Him, even if that face was one in a crowd of a thousand…
As Jesus was walking along, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at his tax collector’s booth. “Follow me and be my disciple,” Jesus said to him. So Matthew got up and followed him. –Mt 9:9
Jesus turned around, and when he saw her he said, “Daughter, be encouraged! Your faith has made you well.” And the woman was healed at that moment. -Mt 9:22
Jesus saw the huge crowd as he stepped from the boat, and he had compassion on them and healed their sick. –Mt 14:14
So what does all of this highlighting and pondering have to do with summertime and motherhood and Leonard Sweet’s bold assertion about gifts?
Well, sadly, I’m beginning to realize this– Sometimes I look at my children without seeing them.
I see their hair that needs to be cut and their faces that need to be washed and their noses that need to be wiped.
Well, sadly, I’m beginning to realize this– Sometimes I look at my children without seeing them.
I see their hair that needs to be cut and their faces that need to be washed and their noses that need to be wiped. I see the mud tracks they leave across the carpet and the grass stains they leave on their clothes.
I see their schedules scrawled out in five different colors on my huge desk calendar, and I see their dirty socks wadded up in the corner of the couch.
But seeing with my eyes is not the same as paying attention with my heart.
And if I want to be more like Jesus, I need to do both.
I see their schedules scrawled out in five different colors on my huge desk calendar, and I see their dirty socks wadded up in the corner of the couch.
But seeing with my eyes is not the same as paying attention with my heart.
And if I want to be more like Jesus, I need to do both.
I was humbly reminded of that this morning as I wiped maple syrup off the kitchen counter and half-listened to Joshua.
While I crawled under the kitchen table to sweep up old Cheerios and forgotten silverware, my bike boy gave me a long-winded re-telling of his two-wheeled excursion around the neighborhood. A play-by-play of wheelies in the mud and flying jumps over the potholes that dot our road.
While I crawled under the kitchen table to sweep up old Cheerios and forgotten silverware, my bike boy gave me a long-winded re-telling of his two-wheeled excursion around the neighborhood. A play-by-play of wheelies in the mud and flying jumps over the potholes that dot our road.
Focused more on the breakfast crumbs than my chattering child, I responded with non-expressive ohs and hmms and an occasional wow.
I was rinsing out my mop rag at the sink when all of a sudden Josh stopped talking, kicked a wadded up napkin across the floor, and said,“Mommy, listen to me.”
I was rinsing out my mop rag at the sink when all of a sudden Josh stopped talking, kicked a wadded up napkin across the floor, and said,“Mommy, listen to me.”
“I am, honey,” I assured him as I draped my dirty cloth over the edge of the sink and scraped leftover pancakes into the garbage disposal.
“But I want you to listen with your eyes this time,” Joshua said with a sigh.
My stomach knotted and sunk.
I shook the soapy bubbles off of my hands and turned to face my son.
I dropped to my knees on that freshly-mopped kitchen floor and gazed into my boy’s sweet green eyes.
I shook the soapy bubbles off of my hands and turned to face my son.
I dropped to my knees on that freshly-mopped kitchen floor and gazed into my boy’s sweet green eyes.
Then I whispered a prayer for forgiveness and offered my child the greatest gift …
“Do you think you could get on your bike right now and show me how you did those wheelies? I’d love to see that mud fly!”
The Overflow: Pay attention! Are you deaf? Open your eyes! Are you blind? You’re my servant, and you’re not looking! You’re my messenger, and you’re not listening! The very people I depended upon, servants of God, blind as a bat—willfully blind! You’ve seen a lot, but looked at nothing. You’ve heard everything, but listened to nothing…
-Isaiah 42:18-20
listen with your eyes….simple
brilliance.
thanks for this potent
share:)
-Jennifer
oh, this is something i need to be reminded of again and again. to be fully present, to pay attention. to say YES and be Love. that’s it.
oh my goodness. to listen with my eyes. oh dear. i feel so convicted. in a good way. sigh. this parenting this is so, so hard. but really, the key to becoming one with Christ, i think, is to be a parent. for it’s then that you lose all of yourself. 🙂 love to you.
Oh my … This one line got me: “I want you to listen with your eyes this time.”
Must. Remember. This.
Thank you for sharing in community. You bless me so. Every time.
I love (and miss) the picture painted at the start of your post! The lovely fullness of life in a home with children of all ages. My house is quite quiet mostly. I am enjoying this season of empty nest (though we are still parenting, just in a different way and more quiet, which is not easy by any means!)
I also love how the Lord walked you from the place of chaos to the place of peace from your time focusing on Him. It seems to be our “eb and flow” of life in the Spirit doesn’t it? We live life ‘in this world’, in this body that is outwardly…well, you know…wasting away, but inwardly being renewed day by day’ and getting into the Presence of God for the recharging of the inner life for grace to live this present life with eternal fruit from it.
This reads like a psalm. …and all that happy-messy chaos has beauty with grace frosting over it!
God continue to bless your happy home and shine His light through you!
Yes! I couldnt have expressed myself better! This was a play by play of what was going on at my house this week! I have prayed every night for the Lords help….there’s just not enough of me without him! Yesterday I took Chelsea on a special….she was beaming!
Oh, Jedidja- great question! I wonder about that balance, too. I’m not sure just how Jesus mastered that life of pouring out and still taking time to be filled by His Father, but I do think that starting the day with God like Jesus did when He slipped away early in the morning always makes me feel like my day- no matter how crazy- is more balanced.
Love the way we’re an ocean apart but still can seek Him together!
Such a good reminder. Thank you!
Thank you. I fully recognize this and need it. I want to tell you something: Jesus gave the people around him full attention. Yet I also read that He rested. Or on the mountain was to pray with the Father. Or went to a lonely place. If He did, I want to follow His example .. But how do I keep the right balance?
I just wanted to let you know that I linked to this blog post tonight. http://blogging-mama.com/family/do-you-ever-wonder/
Thanks again!
“Sometimes I look at my children without seeing them.” I needed this post right now! Thank-you! I need to put my list aside and just “be” with my kids!! Even if my list seems to be for them (laundry, menu planning etc). Loving your blog!