Staying at the Table
Before Rob graduated from his family practice residency program in Lincoln, Nebraska, we were given the opportunity to attend an etiquette dinner, a six course meal complete with instruction on how to handle all the details of formal dining. We joked that the residency program didn’t want their reputation tarnished by unmannerly graduates and we celebrated the chance to enjoy a free meal in the company of friends.
The next morning at the breakfast table, three-year-old Lizzy asked what we had learned at our manners school. I began to explain a few rules of etiquette in simple terms: Don’t eat off of someone else’s plate. Don’t play drums with your silverware. Always put your napkin on your lap.
Then, suddenly Lizzy started bouncing up and down in her chair. Her face brightened as she concocted her own idea. “Mommy, Mommy, I bet I know what else you learned! I know what the manners teacher just HAD to tell you last night.”
With a touch of curiosity, I asked, “What else do you think we learned about eating politely, Lizzy?”
In a very serious voice, our can’t-sit-still-for-a-minute-daughter responded, “I think your teacher told you to Never ever, ever, EVER hang upside down from your chair UNTIL you have finished eating.”
Hindsight now reveals that my daughter’s epiphany is easier said than done. I’m still waiting for some wise mother to invent a harmless substance called “gluteus glue” that holds my youngsters in place for the course of an entire dinner hour. One would think that twelve-years of stickiness on my kitchen chairs would do the trick, but somehow only dinner guests seem to discover the unwanted wad of gum when they sit down or the congealed maple syrup left-over from the pancakes at breakfast.
While I try to heed my young daughter’s advice and resist the urge to hang upside down at the dinner table, I have learned that no amount of etiquette training can keep life from feeling flipped upside down at times. Sick kids, thwarted plans, unexpected challenges; broken dreams, u-turns, and detours; new babies, new schools and new circumstances- just when I think I’m following all the rules and finally using the correct utensil (the “right” discipline technique; the “right” formula for an organized home; the “right” recipe for a happy marriage), the place setting of my life shifts.
And it’s then that I must make a decision: I can hang upside down in frustration or I can stay at the table and stick to my chair like day-old macaroni and cheese. I used to prefer to swing from my seat and hide beneath the table when life dished out the unexpected. But I’m learning that sticky faith is better than dining-room acrobatics. So lately, I’ve been choosing to stay at the table even when the course being served is difficult to swallow. And each time I do, my appetite for God’s faithfulness is satisfied. The rest of the world might assume I’m still sitting at my crazy table of life because I’ve got great etiquette, but the truth is, I’m holding out for the final course, because I’ve heard that my Host has a penchant for sweet endings!
The Overflow: “On this mountain the LORD Almighty will prepare
a feast of rich food for all peoples, a banquet of aged wine—
the best of meats and the finest of wines. On this mountain he will destroy the shroud that enfolds all peoples, the sheet that covers all nations; he will swallow up death forever. The Sovereign LORD will wipe away the tears from all faces; he will remove his people’s disgrace from all the earth. The LORD has spoken. In that day they will say, “Surely this is our God; we trusted in him, and he saved us. This is the LORD, we trusted in him; let us rejoice and be glad in his salvation.” Isaiah 25:6-7
