Multitude Mondays: Why I’d Rather Be Small…
I stood speechless last week on the rim of the Grand Canyon and savored my smallness.
Auburn peaks stretched halfway to Heaven, their jutting fingers casting purple shadows across the tops of the mesmerizing mounts.
The Colorado River wound like a silver ribbon along the gully’s belly. The back-pack-clad hikers on its footbridge resembled a splatter of ink splats on the Creator’s giant canvas.
I searched for words to respond to the sight, but came up short.
My husband wrapped his fingers around mine and tugged me toward the edge.
We pulled our winter coats tighter around ourselves and huddled there as the wind stirred up dust and waltzed with the lonely limbs of the evergreens perched on the rocky overhang beside us.
Wow, Rob muttered as he pulled me closer to his side.
I nodded, still void of words; pointed the camera and clicked.
You just can’t really capture this, Rob said, his arm sweeping across the landscape before us.
It’s like trying to explain how BIG God is…
I peered through the lens and felt small.
Chesterton’s words echoed in my mind, How much larger your life would be if you yourself could become smaller in it! (Orthodoxy)
The very things that had overwhelmed me just days before seemed irrelevant as I watched the sun sink low across that mighty gorge.
The looming deadlines and daily dramas, the piles of laundry and the piles of bills, the loneliness and the frustration- they all shrunk on the edge of that canyon.
And as the light grew dim, I remembered the day my fourth-born had wished to shrink, too…
We’d been packing his Scooby Doo backpack for preschool when he’d announced that he didn’t want to be big.
Alligator tears had slipped from those wide green eyes, and his new backpack had slid off of his slender shoulders and landed with a thump on the floor.
I’d stood quiet and confused, remembering the countless times my littlest boy had watched wistfully from the window as his big brother and sisters had climbed on the school bus at our driveway’s end.
I ‘d listened for years to his sighs, had assured him over and over again that one day he’d be big enough, too.
And his promised day had finally come.
We’d made such a grand deal out of his getting big that morning.
We’d set out the red special plate for breakfast and had hung streamers from the chair where he’d been served his first day of school pancake.
His sisters had told him preschool tales and had begged to slip in his backpack so that they could join him at that magical yellow house where the rainbow carpet squares waited.
And he’d seemed so little and so big all at once as he’d slipped into his spotless new shoes and brushed his teeth extra long so my teacher will think my smile smells good.
But then the hands of the clock had ticked steady and the time to leave home had come.
And with it, the tears.
I’d pulled my littlest boy onto my lap and kissed the top of his shampoo-scented head.
I just wish I could shrink, he had cried. I don’t want to be big.
We’d sat there, wrapped together in murmurs and prayers until finally his sniffling had ceased.
And then finally I’d asked why.
“Buddy, why do you want to stay small?”
He’d nuzzled his nose on my shoulder and inhaled a shaky breath. “Because if I grow too big I won’t fit in your lap, Mommy.”
I’d tickled him, then; and assured him that if he ever outgrew my lap, I’d curl up in his. But the sadness in his eyes had lingered despite our giggles….
The sky had turned from a bright blue to a dark bruise as dusk wrapped the canyon in shadows. And as I shrunk in wordless wonder, I understood my fourth-born’s wish.
There is unspoken joy in smallness.
If I am small, then God’s lap is big enough to hold me.
If I am small, then His hands are large enough to carry me.
If I am small, then the world doesn’t fit on my shoulders; it belongs on His.
How much larger your life would be if you yourself could become smaller in it!
Cameras clicked all around me as sojourners tried to capture the sunset.
But I slid my camera in my pocket and stepped closer to the ledge.
And as the canyon disappeared into darkness, I savored my smallness.
Do you have a minute to talk?
How has God shown Himself big in your life lately?
Do you have a minute to talk?
How has God shown Himself big in your life lately?
The Overflow!
Lord my God, how fantastic you are!
You are clothed in glory and grandeur!
You wear light like a robe;
you open the skies like a curtain.
You build your lofty house on the waters;
you make the clouds your chariot,
going around on the wings of the wind.
You make the winds your messengers;
you make fire and flame your ministers.
You established the earth on its foundations
so that it will never ever fall.
You covered it with the watery deep like a piece of clothing; the waters were higher than the mountains! -Psalm 104:1-7
Counting the big blessing of all these small graces…
1499. Finding our new favorite picnic spot.. on the edge of the Grand Canyon
1500. Earth turning purple in the dimming light
1501. Holding his hand, hiking in wordless wonder
1502. Discovering true Italian pizza off the beaten path… memories of evenings in Salzbur spent at the Creperie.
1503. Morning walks on mountain-lined streets, sunshine and bright blue skies
1504. Exploring new places with my man
1505. Hikes at sunset
1506. A pink jeep ride in the mountains
1507. Waking without an alarm clock
1508. A mom who steps in so I can step out
1509. God’s provision on our flight home–angels all around
1510. The sound of their welcome as we walk through the door– noise, noise, noise!
1511. A five-year-old who slips out of bed at 5AM on my first morning home… “I just wanted to spend some extra time with you, Mommy.”
1512. The amazing teachers who love our children and love Jesus, too.
1513. Joshua’s kindergarten assessment- “He always has a smile!”
1514. Hannah’s new found love for math and a teacher who inspires her
1515. A fourteen year old who climbs out of bed at dawn to babysit his little siblings without complaint
1516. Our quest for quarters… money raised for 250 meals at the school in Haiti… the little boys’ happy dances each time a quarter clanked in their bucket 🙂
1517. An “extra” hour to Sabbath!
1518. The kids all dressed in crazy costumes and my man at my side serving up a “mystery meal”… what we lacked in tasty food we made up for in roaring laughter!
Linking again in community with Ann and these lovely grace seekers:
l.l. for on, in, and around mondays, laura for playdates with god, and jen for soli deo gloria
You are clothed in glory and grandeur!
You wear light like a robe;
you open the skies like a curtain.
You build your lofty house on the waters;
you make the clouds your chariot,
going around on the wings of the wind.
You make the winds your messengers;
you make fire and flame your ministers.
You established the earth on its foundations
so that it will never ever fall.
You covered it with the watery deep like a piece of clothing; the waters were higher than the mountains! -Psalm 104:1-7
Counting the big blessing of all these small graces…
1499. Finding our new favorite picnic spot.. on the edge of the Grand Canyon
1500. Earth turning purple in the dimming light
1501. Holding his hand, hiking in wordless wonder
1502. Discovering true Italian pizza off the beaten path… memories of evenings in Salzbur spent at the Creperie.
1503. Morning walks on mountain-lined streets, sunshine and bright blue skies
1504. Exploring new places with my man
1505. Hikes at sunset
1506. A pink jeep ride in the mountains
1507. Waking without an alarm clock
1508. A mom who steps in so I can step out
1509. God’s provision on our flight home–angels all around
1510. The sound of their welcome as we walk through the door– noise, noise, noise!
1511. A five-year-old who slips out of bed at 5AM on my first morning home… “I just wanted to spend some extra time with you, Mommy.”
1512. The amazing teachers who love our children and love Jesus, too.
1513. Joshua’s kindergarten assessment- “He always has a smile!”
1514. Hannah’s new found love for math and a teacher who inspires her
1515. A fourteen year old who climbs out of bed at dawn to babysit his little siblings without complaint
1516. Our quest for quarters… money raised for 250 meals at the school in Haiti… the little boys’ happy dances each time a quarter clanked in their bucket 🙂
1517. An “extra” hour to Sabbath!
1518. The kids all dressed in crazy costumes and my man at my side serving up a “mystery meal”… what we lacked in tasty food we made up for in roaring laughter! Linking again in community with Ann and these lovely grace seekers:
l.l. for on, in, and around mondays, laura for playdates with god, and jen for soli deo gloria
Oh, Alicia, I can relate…having just been at the Grand Canyon. We felt much of the same way as you describe here. I love those photos. I think you had a clearer viewing day than we did, but I just love the look of the last photo with the silhouette background!
I love the reason your son gave for wanting to stay small. If only we could all have a child-like mentality we would really get what Jesus meant when He said, …he who is greatest among you, let him be as the younger. (Luke 22:26)
Thank you for sharing!
Beautiful pictures, girl.
We hiked down to the bottom of the Grand Canyon a couple of years ago. This story is very funny in that it involves getting lost, wild dogs, and rushing waterfalls. But anyway, we went through the Havasupi village down at the bottom, and the entire time I kept thinking about how small the people were, and what caused them to live there…living such a tiny life, so small. There are days it seems appealing.
wow is right on the Grand Canyon, and that story about your boy? So sweet. So, so sweet. And I feel like him sometimes if I’m being honest. Thankful God understands when I feel small.
I love the Grand Canyon and no you just can’t capture it with words or photos! Like God, you have to be there and see it to capture it in your heart. Oh,thank you for your post…a reminder that being small is a good thing…allows room for God to be bigger and bigger! Blessing to you friend.
Oh amen!!
I have never seen the Grand Canyon, but truly hope to someday!!
I love seeing your pictures, and hearing you describe it!!
Beautiful analogies of God’s bigness and our smallness. I find a certain security in my smallness; it takes the pressure off me to be able to rest firmly on something much larger and stronger than me.
Beautiful and thought-provoking… and what I find myself focused on is not the bigness of the Canyon, but the grandeur of the thoughts of smallness. What big blessing from that small boy! To always stay small enough to fit on God’s lap. Well, it isn’t really very hard, is it? When we get a glimpse of His overwhelming greatness…
Oh…i am taking that quote with me…and I have never been to the grand canyon…but I have heard it is breathe taking…#1513…how sweet is that…may he continue to smile as he gets “big” blessings to you~
Amazing. Just amazing. I hope to visit and witness this place sometime in my life. That is such a great Chesterton quote! Beautiful list of gifts.
oh, your dear little boy. he’s so precious. that story you shared really hit home.
and the chesterson quote? stellar.
thank you, dear friend. this is timeless and worshipful.
Beautiful blog, finding you on Laura’s site, perhaps I shall subscribe to it?
Once I stood on the edge of the Grand Canyon and burst into tears at the beauty and grandeur…love the Chesterton quote.
I sat speechless reading your description of the place. So well done I felt I was right there with you. Little wonder it’s a Wonder of the world, God in all his creative glory.
Your son announcing he didn’t want to be big… that got TO me! “Because if I grow too big I won’t fit in your lap, Mommy.” *sniff*
May we NEVER outgrow God’s lap.
Loved the Chesterton quote as well, I tweeted it too!
Small is the new big 🙂
I wanted to let you know I nominated your blog for the Liebster Award. You are such a blessing, your words minister to me in so many ways.
You can check out the what the award is all about at my site, http://www.theresomethingdifferent.blogspot.com
When we visited a few years ago we could not believe how unreal the Grand Canyon looked~so still and majestic, so like a painting or a photograph, so beyond imagination.
Being small has so many advantages…but one does not appreciate smallness sometimes until one is big and the cannot go back. I wouldn’t know beyond growing up and being too big to hold and my children growing up and away. Being small is precious.
Keep up the God work.