Thank you, friends, for praying over my adventure as I stepped out of the mommy trenches last week. God showed up at my writer’s conference in a HUGE way. I’m still savoring the countless footprints He imprinted across my heart in the course of six days.
While I haven’t completely re-adapted to life in the diaper pail, I’m slowly re-entering the marvelous world of spills, thrills and sleep-deprivaton. While all the other writers were complaining about our far-from-luxurious dorm room accomodations, I relished the chance to sleep through the night, even if it was only in a twin bed with a paper thin mattress.
I’d always assumed that mothering is like learning to ride a bike: once you figure out how to do it, it just comes naturally. But after a six-day break from mommyhood, I am struggling to remember how I managed to cook meals, do laundry, engage the minds of five children and still have energy to spare when the day is done. Tips, anyone?
While I wait for your sage advice on how to rise to my daily challenge once again, I’d love to share with you a few delightful lessons I learned OUT OF THE DIAPER PAIL last week.
An Audience of One
About fifteen miles into my trek, I began to wonder What in the world am I doing? I promptly called my husband and moaned, I wish I’d packed a barf bag. Though he assured me I was going to be fine, even blessed, during the course of my writer’s conference, I hung up feeling like a little girl walking to her first day of kindergarten alone.
Next I called a girl friend (If your man doesn’t say what you’re looking for, try a girl friend, right?). She repeated my husband’s sentiment, but followed it up with May I pray for you right now? Battling tears as I zipped along the interstate, I listened to a sister of my heart storm Heaven’s throne on my behalf. When she uttered Amen the butterflies in my stomach took flight.
Wrapped in peace, I began to talk to God. As the miles passed,God reminded me of the question He had asked me years ago. After a season of moderate success in my freelancing career, I suddenly hit a wall. Every publishing door I tried to walk through closed and my once reliable markets ran dry. Rejection letters filled my mailbox. Discouragement haunted my mind. Then, God asked:
Alicia, if you only ever write for an audience of One, will you still consider yourself a writer?
I felt a bit like Abraham on Mount Moriah. But Lord, I’ve pictured my name on the title page of that book I’ve been working on.
What if the only book that ever bears your name is my Book of Life?
I KNOW my name’s in your book, Lord, but I want to see it on the cover of a book down here, too. Could I have BOTH?
Anything is possible for those who believe, my child. But what I want to know is this: Will you write just for Me?
As I laid my Isaac down, I promised God that I would write for Him. Whether my words ever reach the shelves of a bookstore or merely fill my Father’s house with a fragrant aroma of praise, I will write. Because when my Maker looks at me, He sees a writer. And when I look at Him, I see the only audience that will really matters.
Who does God see when He looks at you?
Today’s Treasure: Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. -Proverbs 3:3
I don’t think God’s ever asked if I’d write just for Him. But I’ve often asked myself “Will I write even if I never get published?”
As I pondered this, I wondered why God would ever choose to gift me with something if He did not desire for me to use that gift for the benefit of His church. To further His kingdom. To draw people into deeper intimacy with Him. It doesn’t make sense.
God didn’t gift me to write so I could just write in my journal and then hide it on a shelf so no one reads it. He gifted me so that I would use my gift to edify others.
In order for me to properly use my gift, people need to read it. Publication is simply one tool to get my gift out there. I can also blog. I can submit articles. I can write personal letters and cards. I can create a newsletter.
For me (and this may not be true for you), my Isaac was laying down the timing of it all. Trusting God with the road He was leading me on. Writing even when I’m not getting paid. Honing my gift for hours and hours and hours when no one is looking. Allowing God to change all the stuff in me that is inconsistent with His character–which is quite a lot.
I know a lot of writers struggle with what you’ve described. I just wanted to offer a different perspective.
Blessings to you on your publication journey!!! Sandy
Thank you for taking the time to bless me with your sweet words. I’m feeling a bit teary as I picture you, another mom chasing after Jesus and kids, too, and I think about how you’ve allowed me to step in your race and cheerlead a bit. Thanks for the honor. Any friend of Robin’s is a friend of mine 🙂 Robin is one of God’s sweetest gifts to me– a friend who ALWAYS points me back to the Lord.
You have no idea what a blessing your blog has been to me. Our dear friend Robin Gibson shared it with me at a time when I felt like I’d left God standing on the sidelines while I ran the crazy race of day to day life. Since then, I’ve shared it with several friends.
You get me. You reach me where I am and understand that though I talk to Him throughout the day, I NEED a 5 minute worship. I don’t have an uninterupted hour, or even 30 minutes for that matter.
Through your blog, I can still focus only on Him each day, even if my undivided attention only lasts a few moments! I can still get connected!
Thank you for sharing each day. Count me as your “just for Him” plus one. 🙂
I’d love to listen to your song! I’m going to invite my girls to join me since we just had a discussion last night about what the phrase “laying down your Isaac” meant.
Loved this post! I’m afraid I don’t have any advice for you on the parenting stuff, but if anyone can tell me how to deal with toddlers and hotflashes at the same time, I’m open to advice too!
I guess I satisfied my need to see my name on a book by self publishing! Still, when it comes to my songs….even though I’ll continue to write even if it’s for an audience of one….it’s always nice to have someone come along now and then and ask to sing one of my songs. By the way…I just happen to have one called, “My Isaac.” You can listen to it at Songs Of Faith. My Isaac wasn’t my writing, but it really doesn’t matter what it is that we are needing to lay down….the result is the same when we finally do it….wonderful peace!
Alicia,
I don’t think God’s ever asked if I’d write just for Him. But I’ve often asked myself “Will I write even if I never get published?”
As I pondered this, I wondered why God would ever choose to gift me with something if He did not desire for me to use that gift for the benefit of His church. To further His kingdom. To draw people into deeper intimacy with Him. It doesn’t make sense.
God didn’t gift me to write so I could just write in my journal and then hide it on a shelf so no one reads it. He gifted me so that I would use my gift to edify others.
In order for me to properly use my gift, people need to read it. Publication is simply one tool to get my gift out there. I can also blog. I can submit articles. I can write personal letters and cards. I can create a newsletter.
For me (and this may not be true for you), my Isaac was laying down the timing of it all. Trusting God with the road He was leading me on. Writing even when I’m not getting paid. Honing my gift for hours and hours and hours when no one is looking. Allowing God to change all the stuff in me that is inconsistent with His character–which is quite a lot.
I know a lot of writers struggle with what you’ve described. I just wanted to offer a different perspective.
Blessings to you on your publication journey!!!
Sandy
Jenny,
Thank you for taking the time to bless me with your sweet words. I’m feeling a bit teary as I picture you, another mom chasing after Jesus and kids, too, and I think about how you’ve allowed me to step in your race and cheerlead a bit. Thanks for the honor. Any friend of Robin’s is a friend of mine 🙂 Robin is one of God’s sweetest gifts to me– a friend who ALWAYS points me back to the Lord.
Blessings to you in Topeka!
Dear Alicia,
I’ll be buying your book! 🙂
You have no idea what a blessing your blog has been to me. Our dear friend Robin Gibson shared it with me at a time when I felt like I’d left God standing on the sidelines while I ran the crazy race of day to day life. Since then, I’ve shared it with several friends.
You get me. You reach me where I am and understand that though I talk to Him throughout the day, I NEED a 5 minute worship. I don’t have an uninterupted hour, or even 30 minutes for that matter.
Through your blog, I can still focus only on Him each day, even if my undivided attention only lasts a few moments! I can still get connected!
Thank you for sharing each day. Count me as your “just for Him” plus one. 🙂
Sincerely,
Jenny Cote
Topeka, KS
Deborah,
I’d love to listen to your song! I’m going to invite my girls to join me since we just had a discussion last night about what the phrase “laying down your Isaac” meant.
Blessings to you 🙂
Alicia
Loved this post! I’m afraid I don’t have any advice for you on the parenting stuff, but if anyone can tell me how to deal with toddlers and hotflashes at the same time, I’m open to advice too!
I guess I satisfied my need to see my name on a book by self publishing! Still, when it comes to my songs….even though I’ll continue to write even if it’s for an audience of one….it’s always nice to have someone come along now and then and ask to sing one of my songs. By the way…I just happen to have one called, “My Isaac.” You can listen to it at Songs Of Faith. My Isaac wasn’t my writing, but it really doesn’t matter what it is that we are needing to lay down….the result is the same when we finally do it….wonderful peace!