How to make Christmas really feel like Christmas

Today I’m linking up with Hearts at Home for Third Thursday Thoughts. Together, with other moms across the web, we’re talking about how our families approach the idea of giving during this gift-laden time of year.  We’d love for you to chime in on the discussion. So don’t be shy. Pull up a chair in the light of that Christmas tree and join us! 

I hadn’t realized how many gifts we’d bought until I began wrapping all of them. 

It was the first time in our parenting lives that my husband wasn’t a professional student. After seven years of medical training, he finally had a paycheck that covered the bills and we even had some extra to spare.

We had felt like millionaires as we’d roamed the mall in search of presents for our children. We’d given into whimsy and delight and returned home giddy from the fun. Finally, the kids would be able to unwrap more than just the shoes that they needed and a pair of new pajamas.

Christmas would finally feel like…. Christmas!

But as I stared at tree bulging with shiny packages on Christmas Eve, I couldn’t resurrect the thrill I’d experienced in the mall. I wasn’t sure why, but suddenly the sight of all those boxes  filled me with an odd twist of sadness rather than satisfaction.

I knew my kids would have fun when they woke in the morning. But the truth was, they’d been delighted every Christmas before as well– even when the only gifts beneath our tree had been necessities rather than luxuries.

I flipped off the lights of the Christmas tree and headed downstairs to check on my sleeping ones before I resigned myself to bed. As I neared my firstborn’s bedroom, I heard sniffling.

Tiptoeing in, I whispered in the dark, “Luke? Are you all right?”

My six-year-old responded with a ragged sigh. “I’m okay, Mommy. I’m just feeling sad.”

“Why are you sad?” I asked, shocked by my son’s response. “Aren’t you excited for tomorrow?”

“Yeah….” he agreed, sniffles still punctuating his words.

“Well, then what’s wrong?” I said. “Aren’t you feeling well?”

“I’m okay,” Luke replied, then broke into silent sobs, his little shoulders quivering beneath the blankets. “I’m just thinking about all those kids who will wake up tomorrow without any presents under their tree.”

My stomach felt suddenly queasy.

I brushed back his blonde bangs and stroked my son’s soft head. “Well, what do you think we should do about that?” I asked, my own words shaky and weak.

“I don’t know,” he sighed. “Maybe I should give them some of mine…” 

He spoke it more as a question than an answer, and the awkwardness of the moment hung heavy in the air.

In the end, I suggested that we pray for the kids God had lay upon Luke’s heart and I went to bed with an ache in my heart.

That was the Christmas that God intruded upon my comfortable world and refused to let me stay there.

My firstborn is fourteen years old now, and we still have plenty of packages wrapped beneath our tree. But we approach the Christmas season with prayer rather than whimsy these days.

We practice “wise man gifting” with our children, a tradition that helps us to limit our giving to our own kids and leave resources for gifting those who may not have presents beneath their tree on Christmas day. 

Our wise men gift tradition- a marvelous idea given to me by my sister-in-law after that awkward Christmas Eve years ago- limits our family giving to three packages per child:

A gold gift which embodies a “want.”
A frankincense gift which is a gift that draws them closer to Jesus.
And a myrrh gift which is a gift for their body (often the much-needed shoes or pajamas!).

This simple formula for giving keeps our shopping in check and helps to shape our kids’ expectations. It’s helped me to walk that fine line between wishing to be generous to my own children and feeling guilty about it in the end. It helps me to give both practically and thoughtfully, while still leaving room for a touch of whimsy (thanks to the gold). 

I think our wise men tradition also helps our kids to experience the joy of receiving while still leaving wiggle room in our budget to give generously to those who don’t have the resources that we do.

 We enlist the kids’ help each year as we decide together who will be the recipients of our lavish giving beyond the walls of our home.

Some of our favorite ways to gift others during this season of goodwill are:

*Purchasing items from World Vision’s catalog for children in need across the globe.
*Sending Christmas gifts to the kids we support through Compassion International 
*Donating food to our local food shelf
*Purchasing gifts for impoverished kids in Mexico 
*Filling shoeboxes for Operation Christmas Child
*Buying anonymous gifts for local families in need.

I still struggle every season with the whole concept of giving. 

Do we give our own kids too much? 

Should we cut out gifting all together?

Should we sacrifice more?

How do we keep our eyes on Jesus and not those shiny packages beneath the tree?

I haven’t found any perfect answers, but I am learning that when we approach the season with prayer and open hearts; when we leave financial margin for generosity; and when we reach out to the least of these in our midst, Jesus is faithful to guide our giving. 

And when He does, Christmas really feels like……well, Christmas!

The Overflow: “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” –Matthew 25:40


How does your family celebrate giving during the Christmas season?