Heart Surgery
For those of you who have just dropped by, I’m digging for treasure in God’s Word this month. Matthew 6:33 promises, “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” I believe “all these things” includes the treasures I’m seeking in the diaper pail –the jewels of joy, nuggets of wisdom and pearls of peace–but before I seek the gems, I must seek the Giver of good gifts (James 1:17). I’d be honored if you’d join me!
If Jesus is the Great Physician, then His Father is the Consummate Heart Surgeon. Have you ever heard of a heart surgeon who uses a paintbrush to clear out the clogged arteries in a heart that needs restoration? Of course, not; extensive heart work requires at minimum a scalpel, sutures, and a set of skilled hands. The Lord’s hands are ever ready to grab a child in our midst and use him/her as a tool to reach our heart.
Some children are God’s paint brushes: they open our eyes to beauty, they soften our hearts with childlike faith, they teach us through soft strokes of love and wonder. Others, however, are God’s scalpels. They cut through our pride and dislodge our selfishness. They chisel away at our independence and remind us of our great need for the Lord. They carve out our vain ambitions and create room in our hearts for humility and grace. Both types of children are tools in God’s hands. Both types of children are gifts in a parent’s life.
While most of us welcome God’s paint brushes, we often struggle with His scalpels, especially when they bear our family name! Ironically, the children we find most difficult to parent were not tossed into our lives by happenstance. In the words of Susan Alexander Yates, author, pastor’s wife, and mother of five: “God has given us exactly the children we need to become the people He wants us to be” (And Then I Had Kids). God longs to “circumcise our hearts” as today’s scripture proclaims, but He will never force us on the operating table! We must choose agree to lay down our rights, surrender our control, and invite the Divine Surgeon to complete His work!
Cathy Carpenter, a prominent physician and mother of a difficult child, tells her story of heart transformation in Gary Thomas’s Devotions for Sacred Parenting. When God gave the Carpenters their second child, Matt, the couple quickly realized their son was created differently than their quiet, compliant firstborn. As Matt grew, many well-meaning friends and relatives offered advice for dealing with his unique energy and creativity– advice that came with the unspoken assumption, “you must be doing something wrong with that boy!” It wasn’t until Cathy agreed to “heart surgery” that she began to see God’s greater purpose in gifting her with Matt. Listen to the words of a wise woman who has surrendered to the scalpel and has received a softer and healthier heart as a result:
God worked in my life to change attitudes of bitterness, embarrassment, and resentment into attitudes of grace, love, and hope. These new attitudes developed out of pain, self-sacrifice, and a little creativity. God accomplished this by walking with me through the hard times I longed to control but could not…While people may judge us by our children’s actions, God judges us by our reactions to them. I needed to stop being mortified and start being modified!
What might our hearts look like if we took Cathy’s approach to parenting? Perhaps this week, we need to stop being mortified over the difficulties of parenthood and start being modified by the Consummate Heart Surgeon who longs to use each child in our life to transform us from the inside out. This week, may we choose to delight in our status as God’s “heart patients,” and may we delight in His tools of the trade!
Parent’s Pondering: What, if anything, is keeping me from climbing onto the Great Surgeon’s operating table? Am I spending my time being mortified or modified? Today, echo Gary Thomas’s prayer in Devotions for Sacred Parents: “Lord, how do you want to modify me? What is it about loving others that you want this child to teach me? Where do I fall short? Where is my heart weak and immature? Point out my sin, my pride, my selfishness- and use this child to make me strong and holy in you.”
