Dear Teenage Me…
Dear Teenage Me,
I’ve been thinking about you lately.
I know you feel all grown up with your brand new driver’s license and that clunky old white Mustang that gets wet floor mats when you speed through puddles on the street.
I realize that you think those straight A’s on your report card mean that you almost know it all.
But believe it or not, you’ve barely just begun.
Even though right now you’re sweet sixteen, someday in the not-so-far-away future, you’ll find yourself two weeks shy of forty with a dirty mini-van, an overflowing calendar, and a handful of kids.
Nobody will be asking what your grade point is. Or how long you studied for the huge history test.But your preschooler will ask you, why a thousand times a day, and your teenager will constantly ask if the laundry piled high on the couch is clean or dirty.
Your daughters will ask you to turn up the music and your kindergartener will ask you to please turn it down so he can hear the tractor in the field outside.
Honestly, you’ll be glad that you don’t have to pass exams any more to prove your worth.
And you’ll discover how liberating it is to finally just admit that on most days, you have more questions than answers.
You’ll no longer need to know it all; it will be enough to know the One who does.
Forty probably sounds ancient to you now. But in a blink of your baby blues, you’ll be surveying that unsolicited crop of wrinkles on your face and wondering what color your hair really is beneath all that artificial blonde.
Oh, don’t get me wrong. Your near-forty-life won’t be a disappointment.
It will be a day to day exercise in joy.
And when your thirty-nine years and fifty-weeks old, you won’t be worried about stepping into your fifth decade. Even if your coy young friends are beginning to refer to you as middle aged. ‘Cause you’ll have learned that each year just keeps getting better and better. And every year older is a step closer to glory!
Of course, by the time you celebrate your fortieth birthday, you won’t be stopping traffic with your fashion flair anymore.
I know you’re a lover of neon and all things bright–
but one day you’ll leave the bad styles of the ‘80s behind and decide to shine brightly in other ways…
No more leg warmers and frosted jeans.
No more parachute pants or sweaters with teddy bears on them.
It sounds kind of dull, but really, it’s okay.
What you lack in blazing color, you’ll make up for in flamboyant faith.
Oh, and speaking of faith, keep chasing after Jesus, girl!
I know you fell in love with Him when you were knee-high.
But somewhere between those baby-bear chairs in Sunday school and the driver’s seat of that clunky car of yours you’ve lost your childlike faith.
Don’t get me wrong– you’re doing everything you can to be a good girl for God.
But give yourself some grace.
In about a decade you’ll figure out that loving the Lord isn’t about doing, but delighting.
Growing in grace doesn’t require perfection, but praise.
It’s gonna be a while before you get it, sweet girl.
But one of these days you’ll stop wearing yourself out trying to impress Jesus with your amazing deeds and you’ll start resting in His lavish love.
I know right now you love to sleep ’til noon, but one day, you’ll stumble out of bed in the dark before dawn just to meet with your Savior before your noisy crew rises.
You’ll curl up with the Word in a big leather chair where you’ve nursed five babies and clocked endless nights and cried countless tears and dreamed a thousand dreams.
And there, in the arms of the Word Made Flesh, you’ll find the life you’ve always wanted.
You’ll relish the way He makes you feel beautiful, stretched-out-skin and all.
And you’ll finally stop crying over bad hair cuts and start weeping for children stuck in poverty and trafficked as slaves and abandoned in garbage dumps.
You’ll decide life is too short to obsess about the numbers on the scale and you’ll become obsessed with numbering your days aright and making the moments count.
One day you’ll stop worrying about the stuff you can’t change…
You’ll stop bemoaning the fact that your legs are too skinny and your hair is too short and your body’s shaped like a pencil rather than an hour glass.
You’ll stop fussing over how you look and you’ll finally start living as a bride who is loved, because that’s who you are.
Oh, and speaking of bride...
Remember that sweet shy boy who sat behind you in fifth grade?
In just four short years he’ll kneel on one knee before you and ask you to be his wife. Really. And you’ll let him slip that speck of a diamond on your trembling finger and you’ll promise to love him for the rest of your life.
As far as I can tell from here, you’ll keep that promise forever.
At least for nineteen years. I know that for sure.
And even when life gets you driving carpools in opposite directions and chasing different dreams, when you gaze into his handsome green eyes, you’ll always remember that he is one of your greatest gifts.
I know I’m getting long-winded now (some things never change), but I’ve just got one more thing to say…
You know that twenty-year-plan you’ve already scripted?
The one that sketches out the details of your perfect life..
The happy-family-that-fits-in-a-booth-at-a-restaurant-life;
The doting-husband-who-works-9-5 -life?
The graduate-school degree- and teacher-of-the-year-life?
The famous-writer and time-share-in-Cancun life?
The famous-writer and time-share-in-Cancun life?
Just shred the plan.
Yeah… just rip it up right now and pass the pen to the Author of Life.
You see, He’s got a different plan.
A messier plan.
A not-so-flashy, not-quite-as-convenient plan.
But it’s a great plan.
A kingdom plan.
It includes teaching school in Europe and hiking through the Alps.
Learning lessons from loneliness and growing up through trials.
Drowning beneath school loans and eating tuna casserole.
It’s a plan that involves empty pocketbooks and second-hand clothing.
It’s a plan that involves empty pocketbooks and second-hand clothing.
Colicky babies and a thousand dirty diapers.
And amazing friendships. And unexpected kindnesses.
And grace for the moment. And laughter.
And kitchen-floor dance contests. And countless sticky fingerprints.
And grace for the moment. And laughter.
And kitchen-floor dance contests. And countless sticky fingerprints.
In some ways, the life He has planned for you is far smaller than your dreams.
And in other ways, it’s immeasurably more than you could ask for or imagine.
But in all ways, it is beautiful.
Just like you.
I’m praying for you, Miss Sweet Sixteen.
Love,
Love,
Me.
Note to my faithful readers: I know many of you stop by this place on Fridays to glean a fun idea for family time over the weekend. But today, I wanted to celebrate the launch of the lovely Emily Freeman’s new book for teenagers, Graceful.
If you are the parent of a teenager or a friend of a teenager, or if you know someone who works with teens, please consider grabbing a copy of this beautiful book and sharing its wisdom and grace with the next generation.
Then, tell me…. What would you like to say to your teenage self?
Then, tell me…. What would you like to say to your teenage self?
And if you’re still looking for a bit of family faith and fun, why not try one of these favorites from the archives…
*Want to impress some truth on the hearts of your children before they are teens? Try this simple activity with silly putty.
*Looking for some good old fashioned fun? It may be the perfect weekend to bob for apples and bring the Word to life in a way your kids will NEVER FORGET!
*Or maybe you just need a simple meal-time lesson. Check out this one and challenge your kids to shine brightly!
*Want to impress some truth on the hearts of your children before they are teens? Try this simple activity with silly putty.
*Looking for some good old fashioned fun? It may be the perfect weekend to bob for apples and bring the Word to life in a way your kids will NEVER FORGET!
*Or maybe you just need a simple meal-time lesson. Check out this one and challenge your kids to shine brightly!
Have a Wonderful Weekend!
Linking with Emily at Chatting at the Sky
Alicia,
I love this post! How true! I, too, love that you keep telling yourself to let go of your plans and let God write the story. And to not worry about getting it perfect. That’s something I still struggle with. I started writing my teenage post, but I haven’t finished it yet. Maybe some day over vacation I’ll have the time to complete it. 😉
Oh, Laura, Air Supply would spark nostalgia around here. High school dances, late night car rides, and my good looking guy singing right to me 🙂 Love your love story, too!
Alicia,
What an utterly delightful post! I have been waxing nostalgic for the last few days; pondering our life. The roads taken and not taken. The times we could see God working in the “bad time” through 20/20 vision. Having a mini life reivew like I imagine I will when I finally meet Him face to face.
Those memories all started flooding back when I heard that the band, Restless Heart, would be playing in our town this week. Their songs were woven into our lives when we were young. (I met my husband at 17 – not quite as young as you, but it was love at first sight/never look back for us, too.) Listening to those songs “I’ll Still Be Loving You”, “Long Lost Friend”… good grief, you would think I was back in high school. My breath was taken away by the emotions assiciated with those songs.
Long comment to simply say, I LOVE this post. I shall endeavor to write my teenage self a similar letter someday.
Warmly,
Laura
And Christine,
I can’t stop smiling at how God changes our plans… love to read about the adventures you have with that beautiful gang of yours. Thanks for stopping here in the midst of your busy day!
Don’t worry, Sherri, we don’t need to celebrate my birthday- each time you visit IS a celebration 🙂
Amanda,
I visited your blog, too, and just wept over your beautiful story of finding Jesus. I love how He chases us down and never lets go! So glad to meet you today. May you delight in His grace!
Oh, Kelli- your wisdom here will roll in my mind all day.. “Maybe we learn to give mercy best when we realize how much we require. ” Guess i should be the most merciful woman around!
Oh, but you write so beautifully! So powerful and such truth, Alicia. And this compliment, coming from a 46-year-old mom of a 3, 5, 8, and 10 year old. Not what I had planned…but yes, it’s beautiful in its messiness.
Happy Birthday soon!
I know this was written for your teenage self, but I found such beautiful truth/encouragement/advice in here. I’m a 31 year old mom of two little boys, and I needed to read this today. Thanks for reminding me to make it a day to day exercise in joy.
Ha! “Just shred the plan” — that’s great!!
Find myself doing that every. day.
And your words here about giving yourself some grace, oh yes. Maybe we learn to give mercy best when we realize how much we require.
Beautiful post, Alicia.
I wanted to be there for your 40th birthday! 🙁 It doesn’t seem fair!
Here’s a GREAT BIG BIRTHDAY HUG FROM ME!
I love your words! They are perfect…as always! I smiled the entire time! I also got a few chills as I can relate to every word! 🙂