Daddy Nose Best

 The story sent my kids into a flurry of giggles. Lizzy piped up from the backseat: “Mom, you belong to that club, don’t you?”

“Of course,” I replied, “Luke paid my dues years ago.”

In the rear-view-mirror, I watched my firstborn roll his baby blues in embarrassment, but I couldn’t resist retelling the story that proves life with children is never dull!

We were headed home after a weekend visit to my parents’ house.  Luke and Lizzy were strapped into their carseats in the back of the van while Rob and I chatted up front.  Just moments into our travels, Luke opened the small box of RUNTS candy that Grandma had sent for the ride home.  He grabbed a cherry shaped candy and sniffed it dramatically. Unable to get a giggle out of his little sister, he tried a new strategy. “Hey, look!” he joked, holding the red candy near his nose. “I picked a cherry.” Lizzy giggled a little. Luke continued the show.  He edged the candy up  his nostril and pretended to sneeze. “Ahh.. Ahh.. Ahhchooo! I’m sneezing cherries!”

Eighteen-month-old Lizzy threw back her blonde head of curls and rewarded her brother with a belly laugh.  Rob glanced in the rearview mirror, spotted the comedy show and warned, “Luke, don’t stick that candy up your nose; it will get stuck!” 

In predictable three-year-old fashion, Luke pushed the candy up his nose one more time, faked a big sniff, then screamed, “AHHHHHH!! I can’t get it out! It’s STUCK!!”  

We turned to see a red stream of snot dripping from our entertainer’s nose. Lizzy’s laughter quickly turned to tears as her brother began to wail like a wounded soldier. One wipe of the red drip and Luke was convinced he was dying. “I’m bleeding! I’m bleeding!” he moaned as he poked frantically at his nose.

With a sigh of disbelief, Rob veered the van off the highway and grabbed the first aid kit from the trunk.  Tweezers in hand, he lay Luke across his lap and began to DIG.  I shined a flashlight up the nose of our firstborn and prayed that we’d be spared an unexpected E.R. bill. Goodness knows we were barely staying afloat on a medical resident’s salary! 

As our roadside fiasco put Rob’s M.D. to the test, my prayers shifted. “Lord, guide Rob’s hands; PLEASE!”  Luke wimpered as mumbles, grumbles, and exclamations of frustration slipped from my husband’s lips. Then, like countless fathers before him, Rob exclaimed, “I TOLD YOU NOT TO…”  Finally, Rob waved the tweezers in the air and uttered, “I got it!”  He dropped the colorless candy into Luke’s little hand and gave our son a knowing look. 

Luke studied the strange looking RUNT, then tossed it on the floor.  “I don’t want THAT anymore,” our three-year-old whined, “Can I have a different one now?”

With a swift swipe of my hand, I confiscated the entire box and assured our firstborn that he may never taste another RUNT again.

When I finished retelling the tale, Lizzy elbowed her big brother.   “Hey, Luke,” she teased, “I guess the moral of that story is: You might think it’s funny to stick candy up your nose, but it’s SNOT!”

“Or,” I added, “Always remember, Daddy NOSE best!”

Today’s Treasure:  Listen to your father… –Proverbs 23:22