Celebrating Hannah
We celebrated Hannah Faith’s eighth birthday on Monday. While my third-born ripped open packages and danced around the room in glee, I marveled at the gift of this tender-hearted one. My daughter is proof of Susan Alexander Yates’ wise words– “God always gives us exactly the children we need to become the women He created us to be” ( And Then I Had Kids). When the wrapping paper was relinquished to the trash and the birthday candles were returned to the cupboard, I penned these humble musings…
She arrived fresh from my womb with a red-faced wail eight years ago and she cried for the remainder of the year to come. This daughter for whom I’d prayed was the one who, in the beginning, shrunk my world small. Wrought with colic, Hannah spent her days on my swaying hip and her nights writhing on my lap in the rocking chair. Life became a blur of howls and tears as I sought constantly to comfort my smallest one. We rarely left the house, as few places welcomed the din of my third born’s lament.
Little did I know as I paced the hallways eight years ago and begged for mercy that mercy was the very thing this child had come to teach me. I had no idea as I sunk into the isolation of daily survival and sleep deprivation that this gift from Heaven would one day enlarge my world and expand my heart. I didn’t realize then that the tears would never stop. But their source would change. The whimpers caused by my baby’s aching tummy would eventually be replaced by cries that rose from her aching heart.
We realized early in Hannah’s life that she had been created with a unique tenderness toward others. She is the one who begged to take her little brother’s place in the time-out chair because his quivering lip “made her heart hurt.” She is the kindergartener who carried Band-Aids in her pocket in case someone got hurt on the playground. And she is the girl who sobbed quietly beside me and begged for a miracle as Africa’s haunted faces of starvation rolled across our computer screen last August. This girl who once reduced my world to the shrinking walls of my home now forces me to look past those walls to the hurting globe beyond my door. She sheds tears in the dark of night for children without food, for mommies with dying babies, and for people who don’t know Jesus. She cries for orphans and the impoverished, the lost and the forgotten and her tears magnify my own apathy. This little girl who first broke my heart with her ceaseless squalls now invites me to be broken for the world.
It’s a funny thing–how God uses our children to bring light to our darkness. I thought I was whole until I was given a daughter whose heart lay in pieces. Now the Lord is using my daughter’s brokenness to heal my own. Each time I hold Hannah and listen to her quiet cries, God heals me of my debilitating self-consumption and greed. When I listen to her dream for the needy and pray for the hurting, He heals me of apathy and indulgence. Perhaps someday, thanks to Hannah, I will live from the depths of a heart wholly broken for the things of God. On Monday morning I filled the pages of my journal with prayers before my birthday girl rose from bed. And as I poured out my heart to Heaven, I realized something. My prayers for my third-born have changed. No longer do I beg the Lord to stop my growing girl’s tears. Instead, I ask Him to use her tears to soften my heart and turn my eyes to the Savior who cries with Hannah Faith for His broken world.
The Overflow: Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy. -Psalm 126:5
The Overflow: Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy. -Psalm 126:5
Hannah begged to invite Chelsea.. but I told her that “CHelsea’s mommy needed a travel break!” We certainly missed your sweet girl. THis was the first ever Hannah party without her.
Hannah!!!! Happy Birthday sweet girl! There is not a kinder heart out there! Chelsea will be sad that we are not in Pella to help you celebrate…but I am sure we will have our own celebrations….HIP HIP HOORAY FOR HANNAH IS 8!
Yeah.. I used to agree to just let Hannah hold the “naughty one’s hand” while he did penance 🙂
What a sweetie. I love the story of her offering to take her brother’s place in time out.