A Little Holdin’
Blog | Growing Pains | Prayer
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“I think I need a little holdin'” he says as his lower lip trembles and his petite pink fingers swipe loose tears from those shadowy green orbs.
My mommy-heart twists and turns in that crazy tango called love, and I swoop my littlest boy into the safety of my arms. I inhale the fragrance of sweaty boy hair and Cheetos (that explains the subtle orange streaks across his coarse mop of brown), and I plant a soundless kiss atop his spiky cowlick. I run my hands up and down his bony back and wish I could freeze time.
His slender body relaxes and nestles closer to my heart. Tears disappear. Lips invert the shaky frown into a slender smile. Those pathetic hiccups of despair melt into deep slow breaths. I hold his soft warm body and whisper prayers that only Heaven can hear.
If only a little holdin’ would always cure his broken heart.
If only a little holdin’ would always cure his broken heart.
One day soon my arms won’t be the first place he runs. One day, not so far from now, that head of always- tousled brown hair may dodge my kisses; those skinny arms refuse my hugs. With fifty more pounds and twelve more inches, he may gain mastery over that tell-tale lower lip. He may learn to hide his feelings deep beneath the surface of those vast green eyes. Though it’s hard to imagine today- in my house of constant crying and tattle-taling; impromptu announcements and endless monologues- this child who begs a bit of holding each day may soon hold his hurts deep inside where his mommy’s arms cannot reach.
So today I will hold a little longer and kiss a little more. I will look up from my tasks at hand and gaze deep into those earnest green eyes, the eyes of a little boy who holds my heart. And I will pray that when my arms are no longer invited to do “a little holding” the arms of my Heavenly Father will take my place. The Overflow: He will feed his flock like a shepherd. He will carry the lambs in his arms, holding them close to his heart. He will gently lead the mother sheep with their young.
-Isaiah 40:11
