How to become who you were always meant to be

One of my children’s favorite spots at Grandma’s house was a door frame filled with brightly colored pen marks accompanied by carefully scribbled names and dates. Tenderly dubbed the “growing wall,” that door frame was a visible testimony of all the ages and stages we’d witnessed as the grandkids grew.

When we visited my kids would sidle up to that familiar frame and hold their heads high as Grandma documented their growth with a new pen mark.

And once the new mark was put in its rightful place, we’d step back and look at all the lines that dotted the door frame. Grandma would often point to each child’s name scribbled in other places on that door frame like a roadmap of the past. And with hugs and cheers, she’d marvel at the change that had happened over the years.

“Can you believe you used to only be this tall?” she’d say as she pointed to a mark knee-high from the floor. “You couldn’t even reach the counter. Now you can help me cook without a step stool…”

“Do you remember when you were this size?” she’d ask as she pointed to another mark. “You were still small enough to sleep in a crib…”

The stories would make my kids giggle and marvel right along with Grandma at the growth their little lives displayed.

And sometimes, when the kids weren’t around, I’d walk by those pen marks with a tear-streaked sense of awe as I stared at the visible record of transformation that was taking place in my midst as I went about the daily grind of wiping sticky faces and sticky fingers and sticky floors.

It’s transformation that the Apostle Paul is talking about in Galatians chapter 5. In fact, Paul offers us a “doorframe”of sorts in verses 22-25 as he paints a picture of what it looks like to grow into the fullness of who we are made to be.

 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,  gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.  Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.  Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 

This is a snapshot of who we are becoming as we are transformed to look like Jesus.  It’s a picture of our truest identity.  When God created humankind He designed us in His image (Genesis 1). In simplest terms, we were designed to look like Jesus.

But then sin marred the picture. 

I can’t speak for you, but on most days it sure seems like there’s a huge gap between who I am and who Jesus is

Thankfully the good news of the gospel is we don’t have to look like Jesus before we run to Jesus. The same God who created us to reflect His image also accepts us just as we are.  Because of Jesus’ death and resurrection, we can join God’s family even if we look nothing like His son.

However once we join God’s family and we begin to live in relationship with Jesus, the Person of the Holy Spirit is committed to restoring this picture of Christ in us.

And that’s why Paul is saying in Galatians 5:22-25. As we grow in Christ we become more like Christ- more loving, more joyful, more peaceful, more patient, more kind, more good, and gentle and faithful and self controlled – because that’s who Jesus is. 

Transformation is simply bridging the gap between who we are and who we were created to be. But if we don’t understand how transformation works, the picture of who we are meant to be can feel discouraging instead of inspiring.

I remember one night long ago when we were staying at Grandma’s house, I found my pajama-clad little one standing in that door frame and craning his neck to see the highest mark bearing the name of an older cousin.

He stared at that line above his head, then closed his eyes and tried to stretch as tall as his little body could reach as if with sheer will-power he might add a few inches to his frame. Finally, he plopped on the floor with a discouraged sigh.

“What’s wrong, buddy?” I asked, scooping him off the floor and gathering him in my arms.

“I’ll never grow that big,” my little one murmured.

I swallowed a laugh and assured my son that he wasn’t the one who needed to make himself grow. That was God’s job. He needed to cooperate by taking care of his body with sleep and exercise and good healthy foods, but he could trust God to do the work of transforming him day by day.

It’s easy to giggle at the memory of my little boy trying to grow. But if I’m honest, for much of my life Galatians 5:22 has felt a doorframe displaying marks of growth I’ll never attain.

Instead of encouraging me with a picture of what was possible, Paul’s list of Christ-like-qualities once left me feeling frustrated and discouraged. I wanted to be more loving and good, kind and patient. I longed to be described as joyful, peaceful, gentle and self-controlled. And I tried to develop these virtues in my everyday life. But when I was stressed or stretched, tired or frustrated, the “fruit” I wanted to display seemed to disappear. In the end, my try-hard efforts didn’t ever really lead to any lasting change.

The problem with approaching the fruit of the spirit like a self improvement plan is this– we can’t grow ourselves into Christ-likeness. That’s God’s job. Not ours.

Through the indwelling power of the Holy Spirit, we are equipped to grow into the image of Jesus. It’s His power along with our partnership that enables us to reflect the image of Jesus to a watching world.

2 Corinthians 3:18 says it like this: “Now all of us, with our faces unveiled, reflect the glory of the Lord as if we are mirrors; and so we are being transformed, metamorphosed, into His same image from one radiance of glory to another, just as the Spirit of the Lord accomplishes it.” (The Voice)

The fruit of the spirit is not something we do for Christ; it’s who we are becoming in Christ. As we live in intimate relationship with the Holy Spirit, we are changed by His power, not our effort.

That’s why after Paul paints a picture of who we can grow into; He tells us how we can grow: “Since we live by the Spirit, Let us keep in step with the Spirit.” (v 25)  

Just like my little boy couldn’t grow himself taller by sheer willpower We won’t be transformed to look like Jesus by good behavior or earnest effort. Our job isn’t to create the fruit of the Spirit in our lives. Our job is to cultivate a relationship with Jesus through the person and power of the Holy Spirit

And as we grow in relationship with Jesus, walking in His ways and remaining connected to His heart, our lives will begin to bloom with the fruit that looks like love and joy,peace and patience, kindness, gentleness, and self control.

So today, instead of pouring all our frustrated efforts into trying to produce fruit for others to see; let’s pour our energy into fostering a relationship with the unseen Holy Spirit. And as we do, let’s allow Him to grow us into people who bear an uncanny resemblance to our Savior.

Because that’s who we’ve been created to be.

To learn more about how a relationship with the Holy Spirit can transform you from the inside out, check out my full message below on the fruit of the spirit. Also, if you missed my devotion on the Holy Spirit at Proverbs 31 ministries today, you can find it here.

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Thanks for spending time with us here today. Please let us know how we can be praying for you as we step into the new year.