Why Gravel Might be the Secret to Lasting Love
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Today, over at Proverbs 31 Ministries, I’m talking about how easy it is to let the busy-ness of life invade our marriages and quench our intimacy. If you haven’t read my devotion, “When You Get Lost Without Ever Leaving Home” you can find it here.
I’ve been married to my high-school sweetheart for twenty-one years, and I know first hand how hard it is keep a marriage aflame. I’m no expert on this topic. In fact, on some days, I’m still fighting to find my way “home,” but I have a Heavenly Father who longs for my marriage to thrive. And He dreams the same for you. So, by His grace, I’ll keep learning and loving and celebrating the breath-taking gift of “ordinary life” along the way.
The good news is that we, as believers in Jesus, don’t have to struggle through alone. I’d love to pray for your marriage. Just leave me a comment at the end of this post and let me know how I can best cover your union in prayer.
And, finally, if you’re looking for the date-night-give-away, keep reading. You’ll find all the details and your chance to win at the end of this post!
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We were perched on the rim of a red-rocked mountain when I remembered the gravel.
We’d taken a rare outing, just the two of us. We’d left all five kids behind with Grandma and Grandpa and had boarded a plane bound for far from home.
And truth be told, I’d been reluctant to leave.
I hadn’t been afraid to fly or anxious about relinquishing my children into another’s hands.
I hadn’t felt uneasy about our destination or worried about what would happen on the home front while I was gone.
I’d just been numb. Too tired to feel. Too weary to dream.
And despite the fact that the man carrying my luggage had tenderly carried my heart for twenty years, on the day we left for our get-away, I’d felt like I was boarding the plane with a stranger.
Life had taken a toll on our love.
Industry had eroded our intimacy.
And the realization of just how disconnected my husband and I had become had left me feeling lost and lonely.
There were countless reasons for the growing gap between us—
Five kids in ten years and a thousand sleepless nights in between; a demanding medical practice that filled my husband’s hours, the never-ending mountains of laundry and constant clamor of needs that filled mine.
The grueling task of shaping little hearts and guiding little hands; the late nights of homework-helping and baby-rocking; the noise of life, the monotony of life, the exhaustion of life…
I could rationalize the gulch between our souls; I just couldn’t figure out how to bridge it.
The problem in my marriage wasn’t my mate. I have an amazing husband who loves Jesus and adores me, a man who works hard, provides for our family, and loves our children with truth and grace.
The problem was that the passion that had vowed til death to us part was drowning beneath the wearisome weight of our bill-paying-laundry-folding-grocery-getting life. We were still committed to our marriage, still faithful to our vows, but we’d stopped dreaming together, laughing together, lingering together. We were so busy doing life that we had stopped sharing life.
We’d boarded the plane totally exhausted and desperate for revival.
For the first many days of that unusual vacation, we’d moved through the hours prayerfully and quietly, both of us well aware of the bruises on our hearts, the burdens pressing silently upon our souls.
We’d spent our afternoons just roaming mountain trails and soaking in God’s beauty.
We’d gulped up the glory of His handiwork like sun-parched survivors desperate for drink.
We’d chatted some and laughed some, but mostly, we’d just wandered hand-in-hand along rocky paths and admired the rigid beauty of both the canyons and the peaks.
Each morning, I’d spend uninterrupted time in the Word, claiming God’s promises for our marriage and our future.
And with each passing day, I felt more and more confident that God could indeed bridge the chasm that had grown between us. I just wasn’t sure what He would ask of me in the process.
On the day that I remembered the gravel, I stood high on a crimson peak overlooking a shadowy canyon.
We’d spent the afternoon exploring trails tucked between canyon and cliff, my dingy shoes a dusty orange reminder of the steps we’d shared.
When had I stopped thanking God for the miracle?
How does she reach across the chasm of carpooling and tantrum taming; homework helping and bedtime battling to grab the hand of the man who has held her in the darkness and danced with her in the light; who has welcomed five babies from her womb and loved her more than she’s loved herself?
Another walker had rushed by the parking lot, her hands laden with pool towels and suntan lotion. And Hannah’s eyes had lifted from the dusty grit just long enough to cast a sad glance at the passer-by. Then, as my little girl had dropped her head to peer at the gravel beneath her knees, she’d sighed and with a mix of pity and confusion, she’d said, “I guess not everyone has time to notice ordinary beauty”…
I could almost hear Him whisper with the wind, Savor the beautiful ordinary. Don’t grow blind to My glory in your grit.
Never forget that life is a gift. And that love is an every-day miracle.
Rob squeezed my hand and steadied my legs as we shimmied down a craggy bluff.
My limbs were growing weary, but my soul was wide awake.
With each step, I thought about the beautiful ordinary that my husband and I shared.
And with every step, I gave thanks.
Thanks for dirty shoes
And able legs
For growing children and growing faith
For laughter around the dinner table and his warm skin pressed against mine at the end of a long day
As we neared the end of that dusty path, I noticed that the gravel beneath my feet looked as beautiful as that red-rock mountain bathed in moonlight. And I pulled my husband’s head to mine and planted a grateful kiss on his sunburnt cheek. A kiss of hope and resurrection.
Then, I grabbed a handful of the auburn stones and slipped them in my pocket, the perfect souvenir to remind me that gravel might be the secret to lasting love.
It’s been two years since God spoke to me atop that red-rimmed mountain and reminded me of the precious gift of ordinary love. I wish I could tell you that since then I’ve never once gotten lost in the trenches of indifference or forgotten to celebrate this miracle we call marriage. But that’s not true. Keeping the flame of intimacy burning bright and pursuing deep connection with the man I love in the midst of life’s dizzying spin isn’t easy. However, I do keep a little pink shell in the drawer where I put my Bible, so that every morning when I reach for the Word, I am reminded of the simple truth of that”beautiful gravel.”
I also continue to practice the habit of gratitude day in and day out, just as God prompted me to do on my walk down the mountain with my man. Each day I try to take a few moments to jot down the things for which I’m grateful—just ordinary things, like the way my little girl dances with her daddy on the deck or the way the sun streaks the trees in our backyard with streams of gold just before dusk. It’s a small habit that’s made a big difference in the way I see my husband, my home, my children, and the “ordinary life” that we all share. If you’ve never kept a gratitude journal of your own, I strongly encourage you to give it a try. It may be the perfect antidote to apathy and a simple way to resurrect some joy without ever leaving home!
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Today 
I’m giving away a stop-drop-and-savor night package!
My hope is that this little gift will encourage you and your spouse to stop the spin of life for a bit, drop all the “doing” for a moment, and slow down and savor some connection time together.
Gary Chapman and Ramon Presson’s book, 101 Conversation Starters for Couples, is filled with fun questions that will help you and your mate connect in meaningful ways. You can leave it on your bedside table and ask each other one question each night before you turn out the lights, or take it to your favorite restaurant and enjoy an entire evening of chatter.
(Rob and I tried it out last week when we sat up late waiting for our teen to come home in time for curfew. And guess what? We had fun!)
However you choose to use this little gift, my prayer is that it will help you slow the spin of life and bridge a few of those gaps that can leave us feeling lonely and discouraged in our marriages.
Oh, yeah, and if you’re going to make time to chat, you might as well have something to chew. So, I’m including a little chocolate to sweeten the date.
Just leave me a comment telling me what you love about your spouse, and you’ll be entered to win.
Beautiful post! May the Lord bless your marriage and your family. Gratitude journal is a great idea, I used to do that, and haven’t been. Thanks for the powerful reminder to bring more joy to our hearts. I think I read in your post you are in the Midwest. I’m in the Midwest in Nebraska. Maybe one day our paths will cross. 🙂
I really relate to this article. My husband and I have a son, who is now living away from home. It’s been just the two of us now, and it seems we have drifted apart. He works so hard and is taking courses not to gain a degree that his employer is pressing him to obtain. We seldom have time together…..its funny how you can be in the same home, but not really together. I will use the “gravel” reminder to make sure we are making time for each other. It’s been 20 years together, and our relationship is solid. He is a wonderful man who loves me so much and has the most tender heart I’ve ever known. Thank you for your story. It really hit home!
I love that my husband loves me, even when I am unlovable. As we approach our 21st Anniversary next week, I feel truly thankful that God has brought us together.
My husband honors my dream of being a SAHM even tho it means working a stressful job and living without all the things he could have if I worked outside the home. He comes home from work and pitches in with the kids and the dishes. He uses the beginning of his weekend to clean the house. He looks forward to the hours after the kids are in bed and we can unwind together on the couch. He loves me despite all my imperfections and stuck through the hard years in the beginning. I can’t imagine my life without him!
I love the journal idea!! Thank you for sharing that. What I love about my husband is that he makes sure we are very well taken care of, which allows me to stay home and be full time mom which is a huge blessing.
Steve is there no matter what and always supportive! I decided to go back to school after we had a child with special medical needs. He was supportive the whole way. Late nights studying he would try to stay awake and end up snoring next to my books. He always has my back and always brings out the God fearing woman in me!
This post hits home for us right now. My husband and I are both feeling “lost” among the daily routines that we’re missing the “us” when we first started our journey together. Praying for us to find each other again…thank you for sharing; it is uplifting! I love my husband’s loyalty to our family…he’s hardworking, always up for a challenge; always providing for our children. He balances my over anxious spirit a lot.
He never lets me down.
I love my husbands compassionate heart and how amazingly he loves me! He puts me first always only afyer God. He is my rock!
I love that my husband takes care of me. He is so go at not only picking up the slack but taking over and not leaving me with anything to do. I let myself become used to it and I forget how much he does.
My husband works with out complaint 6 days a week, chores still on Sunday. He is a loving father and husband, always putting others’ needs above his own. He continually shows me what Jesus looks like with his love and grace.
My man loves me when I don’t love myself, shows me what Jesus’ love is like and is daily giving acts of service to me and the kids- even after he’s worked long, hard days. He’s a giver and a big teddy bear. And he’s mine 🙂
My husband is very loving and caring! He thinks about what I need in small and big ways!!! Like when he noticed my tweezers were not working, he bought me a new one right away! When my mom was in the hospital, he stayed in the evening to be with her, because my sister had high blood pressure and couldn’t take a turn. :^) patsy
I love my husband’s generosity, his sense of humor, and how he is a great Dad to our kiddos!
Thank you, It is so hard not to get caught up in the to-do’s each day and not take the time to be thankful for the “ordinary”. We just celebrted 24 yrs of marriage, ups and downs, but I am so thankful for my husbands faithfulness to provide for our family and the routine kiss good-bye and again when he gets home. I forget sometimes that those kisses are such beautiful “ordinary” daily occurrences.
I’m thankful that God gave me the husband I need; his gift of service is invaluable and necessary for our life together. He’s a very hard worker and has never complained about working to provide for our family. Years ago he told me he may not have much, but everything
he has is mine.
Thank you so much for this article..I really need it today. I love that he is a hard worker and his smile.
This really hit me like a ton of bricks. My husband and I are in this rut as I write. We’ve been married twenty one years and have two daughters ages thirteen and ten. My husband has been the sole provider for our family for eight years. I quit my full time job when our oldest started school and now work part time. That’s for my sanity! I recently told my husband I felt like all I did was wash underwear and made sure everybody was at school or track or cheer when they needed to be. Oh and fed and had clean clothes. You get the picture. I’m so tired at night! Please pray that we can find intimacy again and make time for each other besides just being roommates!
I love Scott’s integrity, his heart for ministry and the lost, and the way he loves our family. I am so blessed to be his wife. I would love prayer as we are walking a rough road in ministry right now.
Thank you! As someone who is prone to the same tendencies, this was much appreciated. One of the things I love about my husband is that in spite of my tendency to “get lost without leaving home” he adores me – I mean he absolutely adores me. After too many years of being asleep at the wheel I feel God has finally begun to reward his faithfulness as I feel like I’m starting to reawaken.
The way he gets my tea ready and clears my dishes off the table whenever I’m having trouble walking that day.
I love my husband’s patience he has with me, his quiet temperment, how silly he can be, how he always makes me laugh, and how he’s an incredible father to our daughter.
Thank you for being so real! I sometimes see people at church and think, “they must have a perfect household and relationship”. I know in reality we all deal with stuff, but it is refreshing to know how God can move thru a marriage. God absolutely did that with mine. My husband and I have been married for 10 yrs and we have seen each other change. He is a wonderful man as he listens to me and I know that even though we have busy lives, he is only thinking of me 🙂
God led me to find the man I loved, but we cannot be together, through no fault of either of ours.
If I could be married to him, while I can see how the “busyness” of life would still interfere, and while I know how he would drive me crazy sometimes — still, if I could only be married to him, I would never — could never forget to be grateful.
I’ve been alone for a long time and that won’t change. If you can be with the man you love, you are blessed beyond comparison.
My husband is so kind and so selfless. I’m so blessed
My husband is a man of integrity who is loyal’ generous, & wise.
Thank you! Just the reminder I needed that brings tears of gratitude for my wonderful, handsome husband 😀
I love my husbands sense of humor and how amazing he is with our kids. Sometimes I get caught up in the rush and forget that those qualities are what made me fall in love with him. Thank you for this wonderfully honest article. I needed the reminder to find beauty in the “ordinary”!
A wonderful, much-needed article that I found because my other devotional didn’t have a post today! Some time ago God convicted me about putting more emphasis on my family than housework, but I didn’t know where to start. I read your article hoping to find some specific pointers, and that’s exactly what I got! Thank you!
I love how my husband is happy loving me in the ordinary. A week ago we were spending a vacation week re-roofing our shop/garage – just the two of us. As we were each standing on ladders (he atop the highest and I on the lower one) side by side I reached over for a quick kiss. “This is love” I tell him and he smiles, dripping with sweat at all his hard work. Never bitter that his week off work was spent doing a major project and pausing for a quick moment of love in the midst…
I loved your post on Proverbs 31’s devo site! On July 17, at 19 weeks pregnant with our first child, I was in a head-on collision. My unborn child and I went through two surgeries on my broken tibia, fibula, and ankle, a 12 day stay at a Level 1 Trauma Center, and LOTS of pain and pain meds. I am so happy to say that WE SURVIVED and I WILL GET BETTER! I HOPEFULLY start learning to walk in November, and then a month later she is due in December. And I say all that to say this: I went from being the Martha, the one who did everything around the house, and the breadwinner (as I am an RN and my husband is trying to get his small business off the ground), to being a Mary by default. When you go from running around to losing your job and being wheelchair bound and bedbound, you have no choice but to be thankful and savor what you do have, and my husband went into to Martha-mode, for with a disabled wife you take on the role of laundry-doer, dishwasher, bath-helper, disability coordinator. So I just ask for prayer for my husband. With managing a Mary wife with ooey-gooey-please-hang-out-with-me hormones, a small business, and going out of town a lot as a subcontractor to make up for the finances we lost when I lost my job, HE IS TIRED. EXHAUSTED. And it pains me, a. because it feels like I can’t do anything about it, and b. because I crave attention and affection when he finally does come home, but he always a million things to do or I have a million things to ask him to do. So I just ask that you lift my amazing husband up to our WONDERFUL God, that God would give him peace and rest and comfort and that God would just bless my husband, as he’s been such a blessing to me. And that God would help me to love on him in all the ways he needs from me. And that God would love on me and constantly encourage me, because it’s so easy to get blue when you are in bed all day and pregnant and have to hop on one foot with a walker to get to the bathroom. But I am very blessed– we just need prayer because we are growing weary in doing good.
And I love my husband because he steps up when duty calls. Not to mention is super duper handsome and my best friend!
My husband, Chris, is a father, faithful servant and believer in Jesus Christ. He desires to be the leader of our home. Chris told me, even while we were dating, to never put him on a pedestal. He wanted me to know early in our relationship that Jesus is the only perfect man for me. That is why I love him.
Thank you for this beautiful, honest reminder. My husband and I have been through a tough year of discovering, learning and living out true unconditional love. We praise God for carrying us through and strengthening our marriage. My husband is my best friend and I thank you for reminding all of us to celebrate the simple beauty of the every day. You are a gifted writer!
Thank you for your wonderful story and sharing it! I am a very lucky gal with a Mr. Steady and 31 years of marriage. He is so patient, generous to a fault, kind-hearted, great listener, he shows discernment over and over in his conversations thru difficult situations with our 24 yr. old son, who is struggling with what to do in life. I call them little wisdom bombs. It is amazing to watch him, when I would inwardly just want to blurt out the most common sense answer, followed with impatience and disbelief. But he manages to maintain a firm but pleasant composure while driving his point in, which is God’s view, and nails it. Every time. We have certainly had our share of our struggles, But his faithfulness to God, our marriage, and to our children has never waned. I am a blessed woman indeed.
Alicia, I absolutely loved your devo today and this post is equally wonderful. As a fellow Mom of 5, I can relate all to well…thank you for sharing your experience and wisdom with all of us. Asking God to help us apply it…sending one of my little guys out to get me some gravel now!! Blessings to you!! By the way we’re still praying about ReNEWed Life!!
oh man–I love my hubbies opposite character traits. They balance me and show me grace!
We are so there too! My husband is such a hard worker and is constantly thinking of how he can provide for our family better. He takes his role in our family so seriously and I love him for that. In the midst of working to pay off debt and raise our young children, we become teammates so often and lose the intimacy that we are blessed with in marriage. We NEED more US time, and something to draw us nearer during those times! Thank you so much for sharing!
His patience and steadfast love.
This was just what I needed!!! Thank you for sharing! I love that my husband will just walk up take me in his arms and just hold me and tell me to breathe when I am ready to have a “break down” over probably nothing. It just calms me down instantly!
I have an amazing, loving, selfless husband who is also a wonderful father and who loves the Lord which is very evident in his life.
I love that my husband supports our family goal of me staying home with our kids. Even when it means simple meals and few extras while he works hard for us.
I have suffered from mental illness for forty years, and my husband, who still really doesn’t understand it still, has been there as best he could. I love him for his steadfastness and for not turning away. We ha\been married for 46 years, and together for 50, and I love the way his eyes crinkle when he laughs, and we do that a lot. Things between us have never been better. He is a God-fearing man and it shows.
I love that he loves the Lord and his family, he’s hard working, giving, compassionate and funny.
My husband is a Pastor and in our “everyday” life I too get distracted by the “to-do list”. I have recently found that I just love to spend time sitting with him while he works on the cars in the yard. I like to go out to eat that takes us 30 minutes or so to get to because that gives us an opportunity to talk. I watch him spend time with our daughter, teaching her new things and acting as though he were a “pro” . I love his silliness. He can drop a rhyming song in the blink of an eye, but it is a silly song with no real topic. We just laugh. I just love being with him.
My sweetheart is the most kind, generous and loving man you could ever find on this planet. I didn’t have a good childhood and he has let me have the inner child inside of me that I never got to be. He would do anything for anyone in need. God truly blessed me with my better half and I praise Him for loving me so much. Thanks.
I love to laugh with my husband! The kind of laugh where you laugh so hard you can barely breathe. That’s the best!
Thanks Alicia
This really hit home. So tired of the daily grind and just living together but not enjoying life. Married 22 yrs. Feel like God is tugging on me to work on relationships-not projects. This includes my marriage. My husband is a great man of God, loves me to death, works his tail off without complaint(sound familiar?) and provides…I owe him more than leftovers at 11pm!!
Thank you for sharing. Many times I find myself so “busy” with everyday routines that I tend to lose sight of what’s important to me – FAMILY!
I have learned and still learning that the dishes CAN sit in the sink, laundry CAN be done later, dusting & sweeping CAN be done tomorrow…
I am learning to savor my friendship with my husband. We do plan to have a date night or date day every week. That really does help!
I am thankful for my husband because he is very hard working for our family, loves my daughters as his own, loves the Lord and seeks to serve him diligently.
Puts myself and our kids before him and his wants. Sacrifices for us daily.
Thank you for your encouraging words today and for sharing about your marriage and life!!
I have an amazing husband that treats me like a queen. Thank you for sharing how to ask God for help in our marriage.
Thank you for this heartfelt devotion. After reading your article (and wanting to post it on my wall) and reading some of the comments, the verse 1 Cor 10:13 came to mind… “No temptation has overtaken you except as is common to man; but God is faithful who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but the the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.” I can’t help but wonder if busyness, and becoming lost in it, isn’t a form of temptation for us – just like it was for Martha? I found it encouraging that so many sisters in Christ struggle with the same thing that I do, as well as motivating to make the changes necessary through God’s strength. Certainly not my own. My husband and I have been talking about a date night for the past couple weeks and I have to admit that one of my fears is that we won’t have anything to talk about. My husband is a wonderful man who lives for God and our family. He has made some amazing strides in the past year and I know God is at work in our home. Thank you for your words of encouragement!
I came here straight from P31 after reading “encouragement for today” I just knew you were speaking to my soul. Your comment that “we’ve become so busy doing life that we weren’t sharing life” resonated with me, as I am familiar with that situation. I said a prayer before the end that God should please give me active passion for my husband to help keep our love attractive. I could sometimes feel lost even without going anywhere so I can relate with your view point on this.
I have committed to underwhelming myself so I can overwhelm my soul with love which would flow to my husband and make our marriage more lovely.
Thank you for sharing, God bless you.
I love my husband for so many reasons, but most of all, for loving God and guiding and leading our family in our walk with Christ. Thank you for your post…I could see myself in so many ways while I was reading it. I can’t remember the last time my husband and I actually went on a date. It would be fun to use the conversation starters.
May God bless you!
the way he anticipates date night and asks if I’ve made reservations at our favorite restaurant
I love that my husband is being so patient with me as we navigate this new life of being first time parents. We are both exhausted and just trying to make it through each day – hoping this post is a proactive way of God leading us to spend time together before we end up with a gap between us.
I love my hubby for so many reasons. We were friends before we ever dated. I think what first lead me to fall in love with him was his kindness. He worked with youth at church and had many friends old enough to be our parents and grandparents. He could make me laugh even when I was really sad. He would talk to me in these silly voices that mimicked cartoon characters like Goofy. I know it seems childish, but I couldn’t stop myself from laughing.
After only a few months of dating, I did something I should not have done. Then, worse I lied about it. I have never been good at lying, even for practical jokes. The guilt consumed me. The next night, we went to a Crusade. I felt so convicted!!! When we reached the car, I broke down and cried. I told him the truth. He said he knew I had lied and had wanted to confront me. He said he didn’t, because God told him to be patient and wait for me to tell him the truth. I knew then, he was definitely the man for me, because he loved me flaws and all. His obedience and patience made me fall head over heals for him. He possibly, saved my life that night! After we were married, a relative of mine verbally displayed his disdain for me which he often did. Although it still hurt, over the years I had become accustomed to his insults and verbal abuse. I mostly ignored it and even as an adult would often hide and cry after one of these verbal tirades. Well, my husband would have no part of it! My husband who at the time was mostly a very quiet man, even kind of shy except when displaying his musical talents, firmly explained to him he was not to treat me that way. I was worried there would be retaliation, but to my knowledge there wasn’t. My relationship with this relative continued to be a little rocky, but my husband smoothed a path for it for which I am so very grateful. Several people knew how this relative treated me, but did nothing to stop it. I felt helpless to do anything about it. Even as an adult, I felt like a helpless little girl around this person and some others in my family. By being the first person to ever defend me against this person, my sweet husband reinforced the fact I didn’t deserve such poor treatment. I was eventually able to let go of my resentment for this person and forgive him. Jesus was seen through my husband that day. By this one act of kindness, he helped heal me of years of sadness, anger, resentment, and self-loathing. For this alone I will forever be grateful. I fell in love with my hubby all over, again. Whenever I think of these instances in my life, I remember the song “Who Will Be Jesus”. My hubby has shown Jesus to me many times.
Before having our own children, we had been youth (teens) leaders, substitute Sunday School teachers, and later preschool Sunday School teachers. As kids would line up for piggy back rides after the lesson, I remember thinking what a great dad he would be. Now, we have our three blessings and he is a great dad!!! He reads them a devotion and reminds them to say their prayers as they snuggle in bed each night. He teaches them what is Godly and explains why certain things are not. Our one son often tells us of the “inappropriate” things he hears and sees at school and asks why people want to do these things when he observes them during family outings. I love my husband for helping to guide our sons toward the goal of being Godly men. Our 11 year old son has autism, is non-verbal, and has had health issues. Our 9 year old twins have ADHD and one is about to be tested for dyslexia. Regardless of all the added struggles and proverbial fires to be extinguished while raising special needs children, he has been a great dad who his children adore. His Godly example and seeing their adoration, also, increases my love for him.
One of my prayers is for God to bless us with more time and energy to be a couple (not just Mom and Dad). Another is for more time and energy devoted to family fun and less devoted to putting out proverbial fires. I love my family with all my heart!!! It all started with my friend inviting me to hear him sing at a revival and with his being obedient to God by showing patience to a very flawed me. I am thankful to him for falling in love with me and continuing to love me in spite of my many imperfections! I am thankful to God for bringing us together! I love my Hubby Bob more than these words can ever express!!!
I love my husband’s sense of humor. We often have fun even in the every day things.
What I love about my husband most is his drive and passion for enjoying life. He truly believes that we are always in control of our attitude and the way we feel, even in unfortunate circumstances. Therefore no matter what situation we are in, we can always chose to be positive- self pity does not exist in his world. Just as the Bible states, we should be content in every circumstance (Phil. 4:12) and give thanks in everything (1 Thes. 5:18). In a culture that has people who are so discontent despite our abundance of blessings, my husband’s attitude is both rare and refreshing. I am truly blessed to gave him.
“Savor the beautiful ordinary. Don’t grow blind to My glory in your grit. Never forget that life is a gift. And that love is an every-day miracle.” I LOVE that!
One thing I love about my husband is how much grace he has for my not-so-nice days. You know, those days of the month when hormones rage or I just don’t feel like doing what everyone else wants to do or I’ve had enough of picking up everyone else’s dirty socks and dishes and trash. Those days I get selfish because I’m poured out drained dry. That’s when Vic comes in and love covers a multitude of sin. Instead of reacting he responds in love and gentleness and understanding and grace. That is one thing I love about my husband.
Thanks so much for this beautiful reminder, Alicia!
I have five kids of my own, now ages 13, 17,18, 19, and just turned 21!!!! And I am constantly fighting the “roommate” syndrome in my marriage. My husband is so kind and patient with me and is 100% devoted. That is one stress I don’t battle:) Thanks for your devo. It brought tears and reminded me to find joy and be thankful even in the mundane of life.:)
So glad I read your devotional this morning as I sit here alone—the kiddos just left for school and my hubby to work. God has been touching my heart about my own marriage which desperately needs some love and attention. What I love most about my wonderful husband is his genuine love for his family. He faithfully goes to work each and every day to support us!
God’s blessings on your Wednesday!
I love who he is to me but more importantly who he is to God.
My husband is very loving, thoughtful, and self-less!
My husband has a tender heart. He is quick to make peace with me again after a fight, and he does his best to do all he should do as a Christian husband. I’ve been feeling bitter today towards him, but it’s amazing how posting this is redirecting my perspective and helping me feel compassion for him. He’s not perfect, but he does provide much that I’d always hoped and prayed for, and he tries really hard every day to grow and improve.
I love my husband because he is one of the kindest, patient, accepting and giving people I know. I grew up with some real trust issues and allowing my husband to lead and trust that he would lead me correctly was a little difficult for me. Ok a lot but he has been patient and loved me through all of this prayed and waited patiently for God to heal those places. Through Gods healing and my husbands support I have learned to trust and allow him to be the leader in our home that God called him to be.
So timely and needed in my life right now. The “ordinary” is consuming me. I need to learn to swim in it instead of fighting it. Thank you!
I love that my husband is self-less. He is a giver — of time, resources, and his skills. And he never expects anything in return
Thank you so very much for your words of encouragement and hope. Our daughter just recently graduated college and is moving into her own apt. My husband and I own and operate a small family restaurant where we each work 6 days a week. We are business partners and parents but I feel like we haven’t been “wife & husband” for so long that I don’t remember what that looks like or even worse how to get back to that. It’s scarey & sad. But, I want it, I want to have a love relationship with this man that I married 33 years ago. I want to share hopes and dreams and work together to make them come true. I want to love and laugh and spend time together. It won’t be easy, work is almost always surrounding us even when we aren’t there but through prayer and prioritizing there is hope. Thanks again for your encouragement.
Connie
I pray you find your way back to “husband and wife” from “business partners”. I understand where you are coming from. Its the same place my husband and I are after 25 years of marriage. The business is always there, even at home. Its all we talk about. Like you…I want to get back to loving and laughing together. And no…it won’t be easy…but worth the hard work. Thank you for sharing your story.
I admire how my husband sincerely seeks to live 1 Corinthians 9:24-25…Running his race in which to win. He gives everything he got in all he does. But sometimes in the run we forget that we are running this race together…and instead feels we exhausted from the run instead of enjoying it. I needed to be reminded that I do have the greatest ¨Running¨ partner! Alicia, your words today were so fitting in our current ¨Race¨ of life!
He does not have unrealistic expectations for me & shows me grace everyday.
I love it that my Husband works hard at his relationship with our Daughter. They have this awesome bond that he has admitted is harder the older she gets. He was cool Dad when he could hold her upside down and swing her around. Now she is 14 and he is cool Dad for teaching her archery. She is growing up and is not a little kid anymore but he still makes sure she knows she is his joy. Love that!
Thanks for sharing your story…Raising 4 kids and the business that you encounter almost ruined my marriage. I have learned that I must work at keeping our love burning. You can grow apart unless you make a definite effort to keep it going. I lead a young Mom’s Bible Study and this is one thing I am always encouraging them to do. I need to appreciate my husband more.
I love his gentle spirit…
He is hard-working, seeks justice, and wants to love mercy even though it is hard. He has beautiful eyes, but I do not get to peer into them often enough.
This is a great piece….I love that my hubs makes me laugh. Always has. 🙂
Thank you for sharing your story. After 25 years of marriage this is where we are. Lost. There is no doubt we love each other. But we have let life and running a business together come between us. It breaks my heart. I just feel numb. My husband has always provided for myself and our two kids. And loves us unconditionally. We need to reconnect and learn how to be alone together after raising our kids and never leaving them! Thank you for reminding me I need to appreciate my husband!
Wow, was this blog timely today! God is so faithful to know just what we need. Thank you for sharing and being so transparent. This is something I have been concerned about in my marriage, but it’s hard to talk about. I could really relate to this. What I love about my husband is, he is so gracious. I don’t think I have ever heard him say a negative word about anyone. He is kind, loving and such a wonderful dad to our 3-year-old son. I have a lot to be grateful for, and needed this reminder today to see love as a daily miracle and to find beauty in each ordinary day.
Broken heart and blank slate, I’m trying so hard to think of one thing from my heart I can sincerely say about my husband that I love. Truth is we’re struggling in every area. Communication, intimacy, parenting…. you name it, we dont have it. I guess I can be thankful that we’re still together after 16 years. Building on that, I will declare that I love my husband’s commitment to me and our marriage. Starting a gratitude journal today in hopes of breaking off the mundane.
Your message this morning really hit home. I am very much like Martha also, In fact Luke 10:41,42 is the verse I have written and kept on my refrigerator, as a reminder to focus on the important things in Life. Unfortunately, I do take my husband for granted. It is so easy to get lost in the day to day stress and pressures and forget your blessings that are right in front of you. God gave me a wonderful husband, and I need to appreciate him and make the effort to show how much I love him. Thank you for your story today.
Tina
Thank you for reminding me why God sent me this AMAZING man that I call my husband. He is the most thoughtful person that have ever met. He thinks if things to make my day easier 24/7. Whether it is laying my toothbrush out for me, putting the dry towel closest to the shower so I don’t have to reach for it, or a simple glass of water that I never have to ask for … it’s the little things that I often take for granted. What a blessing to grow old with this godly man!
What I love most about my husband is how quickly he turns to prayer, whether in times of joy or in confusion/disappointment. When I’m quick to slip into disbelief, he is always bringing me back to God’s promises, comforting me and challenging me to act in faith. It has been a joy to watch our faith grow in the last three years, and I’m excited to see how God molds us even more throughout our lives!
Your words really hit me this morning when I read your devotion from Proverbs 31 so much that I went to your blog so I could soak the rest of it in. My husband and I are high school sweethearts as well and have been married almost 20 yrs. We have two teenagers and we are constantly on the go. My husband works 60+ hrs most weeks and yet, he always tries to find time to be with us, even when I know he is exhausted. He is a good man, a wonderful provider and he loves his family. Even with that being said, I have found that it has been so easy to just go thru the motions here lately of living instead of “living” due to the everyday stresses life throws at you. Thank you for helping to remember that I need to stop and take time to really see everything from a different perspective. That I need to really “see” my husband and the things around me.
Wonderful article! Thank you!
I love how my husband cares for our family; he loves to make memories with the kids and provide for us. His sense of humor is amazing. I love him!
He is committed and loyal. He is a positive person. I pray that someday he’ll be a Christian.
There are so many things that I am grateful for about my partner. He works so hard and almost always has a smile on his face, no matter how hard of a day it has been. His hazel eyes light up when the children and I come running to him. I love the way we pray before every meal no matter where we are. I love how he leads our family in faith and loves Jesus above all else. As we are both working parents and I leave before he does, he always makes my coffee to go and leaves it by my keys at the front door. He cares for me when I am sick. He calls me “Flower Child” each morning.
He is the love of my life and his voice, smile and touch brighten my day every day.
He is loyal
Thank you for your transparency and honesty! My husband and I have 4 crazy, AWESOME kiddos and we definitely have seasons where we struggle with feeling connected. I love though, that when we are in the thick of the mess he reminds me that we’re on the same team, Home Team!
We have had many struggles as this is a second marriage for both of us. I love him dearly as he’s willing to do whatever I want and get me what I want (not need) but also the things I need. He is a man of God and I would love to have a date night with him as he works so hard and long hours. I just love him 🙂
I love my spouse for all the things he does for me that I don’t think about or take for granted.. He had new tires put in my car and new brakes this week.. Watching out for me. Taking care of me while taking care of things I don’t even think about. I appreciate these little things and don’t let him know enough how I do notice what he does and appreciate him..
My husband and I will have been married 26 years in November. He has recently retired from a job of 35 years and I am still working full time my job of 31 years….sometimes our life feels like we are going in opposite directions but we both realize we need to take time intentionally to plan fun times to be together. My husband has always worked hard and now that he’s retired he’s been doing a lot of around the house projects and I am very appreciative and need to tell and show him more that I am!
I love my husband’s passion to serve.
You asked us to comment on what we love about our spouse. Honesty, I’m in a place where I can’t find a lot about my husband that I love. I want to find that again, I want God to move mightly in my marriage and bring restoration.
Wow! I can so relate to your story. My husband and I have been married for 37 + years and we are on this same path. I am a doer and get caught up in the stuff that ‘needs to be done’. My husband is my rock and always there for me but I do need to pay more attention to ‘us’. We try to have ‘date’ nights but…..sometimes other ‘things’ get in the way. Your article reminds me that I do need to ‘stop and smell the roses’. The ‘stuff’ will still be waiting for me later. Thank you!
I love that my husband knows when I just need a hug to help share the load and the love. (It’s been a rough month!)
I can’t help but love my husband’s simple strong faith and encouragement. He works a 2nd job providing for us financially which leaves me and him separated and longing for more time together with each other and our children. It’s hard to prioritize and I am praying for wisdom in this area. Thank you for the article!
I love my husband’s depth of caring and committment and to God.
Wow! Do I ever relate! My husband and I have been married almost 9 years and also have 5 children. The demands of life and family really take their toll and I feel lost in the monotany of it all. I suffer from a Martha attitude as well, becoming bitter and resentful instead of grateful and joyful. What I love most about my husband is how he loves me. He knows my love language and he works hard to communicate his love in that way. It means so much to me. Thank you for this story. God really spoke to my heart through it.
What a great reminder of the importance of adjusting our eyes to see the beautiful in the ordinary. One thing I love about my husband is his integrity and how he views work as his ministry.
I love how my Husband always puts his families needs first, he’ll take a back seat in a heartbeat to make sure that all our needs are met. He’s opted out of many wants so that our children may have.
One of the things I love about my husband is that he tirelessly works a job that isn’t his dream job to support our family.
My husband is very quick and witty. He makes me laugh, even though he can be super corny. He is detail oriented and completes me as we are total opposites.
I love that my husband loves me unconditionally. I love that he would rather spend time at home with me and our two kids then do anything else. I love that he is a christian and friend I can count on.
Beautiful devotion, beautiful story, and a beautiful reminder of how to see the ordinary as extraordinary in our marriages. I have been married to the love of my life for 25 years and appreciate so much his love and dedication to our family and all that he does to invest in me and my writing and to invest in our boys and their futures. Thank you for sharing your story today.
My husband always puts our family’s needs before his. When he see something that needs to be done around the house he does it- dishes, laundry, etc. Love him!
Today is our 3rd anniversary. When thwe alarm went off this morning, I said “happy anniversary” to my husband. His response was “do you have time to make a reservation somewhere? Can we go tomorrow night? I know i’ll be too tired tonight” (he had a 3-hour class after work last night). I said “tomorrow is small group bible study.” Now we’re planning on dinner out Friday. My husband didn’t say happy anniversary back, I love you. Or even give me a hug or kiss…just jumped up to get ready for work. I was hurt. Then I read proverbs 31 ministries devotion and your blog like I do every morning and they were ri g ht on point! God is good! He knew what was going to transpire this morning and put this in front of me. My husband is wonderful. He loves God and he loves me. We bought a house last year and have definitely been lost at home, putting industry before intimacy. Thank you so much for your message. It was a blessing!
I love my husband’s passion for our 3 children!
We’ve been married a little over three years and busyness definitely takes it’s toll sometimes. We both work full time, and he goes to grad school part time. I have to remind myself constantly that life is more than just work, housework, and other mundane commitments. I love his willingness to work through anything with me. Even if I’m being emotional or demanding. I love that God has given me someone who is willing to accept our marriage, for now and for the future.
For the past six years my husband and I have celebrated the fourth of every month as date day. We were married January fourth. We either do a day trip, a meal out, rent a movie or just “remember” our promise to each other. We have been married 45 1/2 yrs.
Glad I found your blog this morning! I love my husband and this giveaway would be a great thing to help us share some much-needed couple time. Thanks!
I love my husband do to the fact that he is my encourager and is a man of God who wants to lead our family with God as the head. He is a hard worker and compassionate as well.
I love that my man is servant hearted. He is the best representative of Jesus in the way he serves.
I could go on and on about how wonderful my husband is. But instead, I will just put it simply….he is “my perfect”.
What an incredibly touching, relevant, and much needed, inspirational piece of writing. THANK YOU! We are celebrating our anniversary this week and I am so grateful to be deep in a marriage of industry AND intimacy. One thing I love about my husband is his unconditional love for me and our kids. He loves us when we behave in ways that are hardly lovable!
My husband and I have been married for 26 years. Most days I do not like him, however I believe love is a choice, and although I may not “feel” it, I choose to love him. Your article made me cry as I now reflect on the multitude of blessings we have and all the good things about my marriage. What I love about my husband? …..his faithfulness.
His unconditional love for me- his smirk 😉
I have to admit I almost could not read this today. It hits so close to home! With four kids and a home to care for plus volunteer work, we are exhausted. He faithfully works and provides for us. I still love my husband for one of the reasons I fell in love with him in the first place. He loves me unconditionally. Thank-you for this word this morning.
Thank you for sharing this. It’s sometime so you see me every day busyness of life to not realize that you were missing the beautiful in the ordinary. My husband travels a lot with his work but he loves us and he calls us throughout the day to let us know he’s thinking of us and how much he missed us. When he’s home he never asks for me time but instead it’s always sacrificial and devoting all of his time to whatever we want to do or need to get done. I’m grateful for his great love for Jesus and his love for us and his caring heart. Thank you.
My husband really does seek God daily and it shows in our marriage. He tries to put God first in everything and truly lives to serve our family.
This was such a blessing to read this morning. It’s definitely something that God’s been working on me with. It’s a great reminder of how blessed I am and how grateful I am that my husband and children are so loving. My husband is a hard worker and so incredibly loving. I’ve been blessed and need to remember to take out time to reconnect. Thanks for the message!
Thank you for reminding me of the ordinary beauty. Bob is very dependable. I love that I know what to expect with him.
Precious words. We’ve been married almost 25’years. Four children and we have lived and loved and done our best to protect our friendship. I love that my husband always makes time for me. Phone calls and text throughout each day and our 1-1 time every night at 9 reminds me this relationship is worth sacrifing my to-do list.
Great article! We have been married 30 years with a lot of ups and downs. Recently started a morning “check in” where we state how we are feeling and one thing we love about the other and then pray for each other. It has been wonderful to have that focused time! “One thing I love about you is your servant’s heart” will be todays part of check in! Thanks!
As the wife of a small business owner, I am so appreciative of the fact that my husband works so hard day in and day out to provide for us. For the fact that he doesn’t forget he is a husband and a father first. but most importantly, that he knows his Heavenly Father walks and guides us.
I want to say that I have the world’s best husband!
Right now, in this stage of life, I’ve started a new job and take our kids to the new school where I’m teaching. With sports practices, we often don’t get home until 12 hours after we’ve left in the morning. My husband has filled in the gap whenever needed (often) and cleaned the house, done, the laundry, and prepares dinner for us to eat at 8pm! He’s patient as he sometimes loses me as I’m losing myself.
We are slowly finding “us” again, even though it is sometimes in a car ride to town to do a little grocery shopping…that’s, oddly, one thing we’be always enjoyed doing together.
My husband and I have been married 24 years. We have had some rocky years but we are yet holding on. Your blog touched me because we are going through the very thing you wrote about. We need to find time to just be close to one another and to share with each other. My husband is a hard worker, compassionate and giving. Help meto give back to him in return, Lord!
His loyalty to our marriage through tough times and all along blessed times!
Thank you for sharing this. We’ve been married for 61/2 years with 3 kids. One is looking at colleges and the youngest is four. We have gotten lost at home as well. God has has blessed me with a wonderful husband that works hard to provide for our family and a great father. I love him for his great patience and how he he supports me. We are greatly lost in the mundane circle of life. I’m starting a grateful journal today!
Thank you for sharing your story! With school starting back and kids’ activities in full swing, my husband and I have been fighting this same battle…I want to thrive in our marriage and not merely survive!! One thing I love about my husband is his sense of humor. Laughing with him is the best! 🙂
wow! I love reading your blog, but today’s was absolutely perfect! Thank you! This was a perfect reminder to not let the busy-ness of life rob us of our intimacy. Also a reminder to purposely think about all of the many, many reasons why I love my husband.
You said to list one so here it is: Andy knows all of our family’s love languages and tries to show his love for us the way we best feel loved, even when his own “love tank” may not be filled. BUT, today I will do my part to show my love, thanks to your post!
My husband is so loyal and generous and surprisingly romantic! He also cleans our house!!!
I love his good work ethic and the way he tirelessly provides for us. Oh, and his lovely warm hugs which make me feel safe and cherished.
i love your story; i have been blessed to be married for 38 yrs. to the love of my life…for me he is the
coolest…i love everything about him & he is a Culinary graduate taboot….very lucky..!!!
thank you for your love story as well Alicia…have a blessed day everyone…!!!
Thank you for sharing this beautiful story and helping me to remember we serve a God who I is even there with us in our ordinary days and times.
With 3 kids in school and various activities, husband’s job, and me going back to school, we have been struggling lately. I kept thinking that it is just all the ‘to do’ stuff that is bogging us down. Then I read your post and realized that I have also let industry erode our intimacy. Thank you for bringing this to my attention and letting God use you to minister to others. I need to put my husband on the top of my list today! I love my husband for being so supportive, committed, and attentive.
My husband is a wonderful father and a gentle spirit. He makes me a better person.
My husband just came to me last night and said, “even though we are ‘fire and ice’, and ‘oil and water’, at the end of the day when I come come home, you are all I need.”
My husband stays home with our daughter so she doesnt have to go to daycare. He is a great daddy.
The timing of your writing is amazing but then our God is amazing! Thank you! I am blessed beyond belief in all that my husband does for me. I love my high school sweet-heart husband for his incredible commitment even when I don’t deserve it!
Found you through Proverbs 31 blog. Sweet post about taking the time to love our husbands. Mine is always supportive, never judging, and I love that about him!1
Thank you for this article. I have the best hard working guy ever! Never complains, chooses to love me but we too get too busy!
Your words express exactly how I am feeling – thank you for this reminder! I too, a Martha girl, needs to work on this!
Thank you for sharing your heart! My precious husband and I have been married for 20 years this past August. We have seen God walk us through the little everyday challenges as well as large life altering challenges. We’ve faced infertility, cancer, the loss of precious family, loss of job, debt beyond our wildest nightmares and yet God has been Faithful through all of it. After 20 years, I still think my husband help God hang the moon! I couldn’t imagine a better partner in this life! God truly does know what He is doing! 🙂 God bless you and this ministry!
This encouragement was just what I needed! My husband deserves more of my attention. He is a hard worker and loves me and my children more than life!
Thanks for this timely article. I too have an amazing and hardworking husband. The reminder that “industry is no substitute for intimacy” hit home. My husband is faithful, dependable, & good looking!
My husband has unconditional love for me and I am praying through so many gaps just like your story. He adores me in everyway and I do love him but get lost often too… We have been a couple for 20 years married for 14 this coming Nov. Thank you for your story 🙂
Loved your story…..how encouraging! My husband loves me when I find it hard to love myself. He’s the best!!
Loved your story, my husband and I had a similar experience last year, and an anniversary trip away helped us reconnect. We are trying now to be more intentional about making time for each other a priority in our busy schedules. I would love the conversation starter book.
What a touching reminder about how precious and important it is to look for the “beauty in the gravel”. God gifted me with my husband who is His perfect match for me. I LOVE my husband’s passionate honesty…… most of all I love how he loves our Lord with his whole heart, soul, mind and strength.
What an awesome reminder of how I should love my husband through all the household distractions. One thing I love about my husband is how much he loves our girls. He loves playing with them.
Such a beautiful story of renewed love. I have a similar story with four kiddos 4 to 14, a new job, 20 years of marriage and an amazing team player husband. He is wonderful and we have our moments like everyone else, but our alone time is sacred on date night once a week.
I love my husband’s generous spirit.
Loved this article. So touched my heart this morning! Think I was meant to read it as I had just got back from the school run, i had literally just been thinking about myself & my lovely husband, not spending much time together. I had a quick look on Prov 31 Ministries & it made me shed a tear or two. So beautifully written Alicia. I love how patient & laid back he is & he has the best bluest eyes ever! Xx
I too have struggled with the issues of life and found your article amazing. God really has used you to open my eyes and my closed heart. I had to share this in private message so that maybe it will help others.
What I love about my husband? I love that he is faithful to our Family, He is hard working, He is always here with us to lead, guide and direct us in everyday life. He is a God loving and a God fearing man, who knows how to maintain a healthy relationship and is not to proud to say he’s sorry when he falls down. In the past 25 years, I have learned so much from him.