Am I Tired or Weary?

Today I’ve been pondering the difference between being weary and being tired. Yesterday, I was weary. Today I am merely tired. What’s the difference? And why does it matter?

I believe the difference has to do with my heart. When I’m weary, my heart grows numb. I stumble through the routine of motherhood with apathy and grumbling.  I may go through the motions (paint cute little pumpkins, make trail mix for soccer snacks, read our morning devotions), but my actions are not laced in love. I become the “mechanical mommy.” I slap a band aid on the skinned knee but fail to offer compassion. I hear the words coming out of my children’s mouths, but fail to listen. I command instead of suggest. I dictate instead of ask. I shed politeness, kindness and laughter like last year’s fashion. In a nutshell, weariness moves my focus from Mighty Majesty to measly me . And when that happens, the picture of Christ that I paint with my life becomes murky and smeared. My children cannot see the true love of their Savior in a mother whose eyes are fixed on herself. Weariness dilutes wonder.

In Hebrews 12:1-3, the Apostle Paul urges, “And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. Think of all…he endured…then you won’t become weary and give up.” 

I may not be able to erase the dark circles from beneath my eyes but I can lift my eyes to the One Who Sees my need.  If I shift my focus  from the mountains of laundry in my basement to the Mountain Mover in my soul, I find the strength to praise instead of grumble, to trust instead of doubt, to hope instead of brood. Best of all, when I’m looking up, I no longer feel like giving up.

The Overflow:  “Then Jesus said, ‘Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.'”      -Matthew 11:28