A Prayer for the One who will Hold my Son’s Heart

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So, it’s dark outside.

And the wind is howling its doleful dirge before dawn. And I’m sitting here in my polka-dot pajamas, cupping my steamy mug of coffee and praying for you.

�2004 Geoff Delderfield. All rights reserved.

It’s a crazy thing—the way I love you already and we’ve never met; the way you sneak into my thoughts at the strangest times and I can do nothing but wrap my dreams around you and carry you straight to my Savior’s heart. 

I remember the first time I thought of you…

My firstborn was just a bundle of wrinkles and wails, and the moonlight was keeping us company as we rocked the night away in that brand new leather rocking chair next to his crib. I’d been singing to him for hours, humming my favorite Sunday School medleys and making up lull-a-byes. But somewhere around 2 AM, I heard my husband padding to bed after a round of late-night studying, and I began to sing that Steven Curtis Chapman song from our wedding

The one that promises, “Tomorrow morning if you wake up and the sun does not appear, I will be here…”

And just three-weeks into motherhood, I realized that I wasn’t going to be the only woman who loves my son.

It was a startling thought for this new mommy who was still trying to fit back into her”normal jeans” and trying to figure out how to calm a crabby baby and how to nurse around the clock and how to cover up those black circles beneath her eyes that never seemed to disappear.

I didn’t know much about being a mom, and I knew even less about raising a son into manhood, but in that quiet moment of epiphany, I knew I needed to hold you, too.

I needed to hold up in prayer the one who would someday hold my son’s heart.

So, as hot, hormonal tears drizzled from my tired eyes onto that precious bundle in my arms, I prayed for you.

The moonlight was dancing across that ugly brown carpet in the nursery, and I remember asking Jesus to shine on you, too, wherever you were.

I’ve asked that a thousand times over the years, dear one—for your life to be wrapped in the light of Christ, for your heart to be wooed by His radiant love.

I’ve prayed for you on quiet nights while I’ve rocked other babies in my arms (yes, that boy who will one day be your husband is an amazing big brother).

And I’ve prayed for you on noisy days while I’ve wiped sticky fingers and sticky faces and wondered if I’d ever find the bottom of the laundry pile.

And as I’ve tended to small things, I’ve asked Jesus to do a BIG work in your life.

I’ve asked Him to woo you, to wow you, and to delight you with His presence.

I’ve asked Him to fill your holes with His perfect love and to plant His dreams deep in your heart; to turn you into a seeker of grace and a believer in miracles.

And I’ve wondered, sometimes, when I’m placing you in His arms, if you can feel Him holding you, too.

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I think about you more these days.

Probably because my little boy isn’t so little anymore.

I wonder if you like walking barefoot on sandy beaches or if you prefer waltzing in heels or hiking mountain trails in dusty boots.

I wonder if you like nuts in your cookies or butter on your bread.

But more often than not, I wonder what kind of story our Savior is scripting with your life and when our tales will tangle.

I don’t know your name or where you live. I don’t know the color of your hair or the color of your eyes.

But I know you’re beautiful.

Because all of God’s daughters are.

And I pray that you know that, too.

You are beautiful.

You are loved.

And you are covered in prayer.

I may not know who you are, but I am certain of Whose you are.

And someday, after I’ve watched my son catch his breath at the sight of you all dressed in white and glowing with hope; someday when I know your name and call you daughter (and maybe you call me friend), I’ll tell you about that night in the rocking chair when I first thought of you.

And then you’ll know that long before you found your place in our family, you had a place in my heart.

 

For whom are you praying today, dear friends?  Leave me a comment and I’ll join you in prayer.

photo credits: © Britishbeef | Dreamstime Stock Photos and © Olga Vasilkova | Dreamstime Stock Photos

 

 

Alicia

9 Comments

  1. Oh Alicia, what a beautiful post! With three boys of my own, I teared up reading this post. I will take your words and apply them to my daughters’ future husbands too. Thank you for the reminder to pray for not only my children’s’ steps each day, but for their future too. Beautiful words spoken…thank you.

  2. Wow! With three sons of my own this has hit home…the tears are falling! Right now my oldest is at the “Agh, girls” stage, but I know that will change quickly. I too am praying for my future daughter-in-laws, but you said it all so well!! Blessings to you!

  3. So beautiful friend! I too prayed for my daughter-in-law. And am so blessed by her and felt a kinship before they ever dated, but more-so now. I’ve marveled at our living locations, and the things that brought them together, like a Weaver was weaving . . . and our prayers, threads. <3

  4. Diane Schuring says:

    Alicia, pray for my baby girl and Wade as they enter into those anniversary days of loosing Blake. We pray for peace, strength, understanding, love and joy. Stan and I pray for you and Rob and love the postings! This is a great one!!

    1. Steph Vander Molen says:

      Oh how we love our boys! I can still picture your rocking chair and those days when our boys were small. Great reminder to keep praying!

  5. Beautiful. I pray for my future “sons” too, especially for their parents, that they would raise those boys up right. Glad to know you are. 🙂

  6. Oh, yes…I pray for regularly for the future spouses of my children! I pray it allowed with my children, too. Personally, I think our daughers-in-law and sons-in-law will “hit the jackpot” with mothers-in-law like us! LOL!

  7. I love this! Made me cry but I loved it! I pray for my boys future wives often but I did not start when they were babies. I should probably pray for them daily since I didn’t start at a young age.☺ I have alot of catching up to do! ❤

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