The Overflow! where souls are filled and faith is spilled

Why Our Boys Don’t Have to Smell Like Stinky Gym Socks (for every mom who wants to raise a sweet-smelling son!)

 I was sniffing men’s deodorant when our eyes met.

Her grocery cart was piled high with diapers and baby wipes, and the toddler in the front seat was pulling tissues from her purse and shredding them into tiny scraps of homemade confetti.

But she was too busy staring at me to notice her little one’s antics.  

IMG_2831

I don’t blame her for gawking.  After all, it’s not every day that you spy a forty-year-old woman sniffing pit protection in aisle twelve.

 It’s crazy what a mom will do for her kids.

I’m not sure what made me think of that awkward moment today. 

Maybe it was the way my firstborn flashed me a sleepy smile reminiscent of his little boy grin as he came up the stairs this morning.Or perhaps it was the blue-capped stick of deodorant that was sticking out of the gym bag right next to the box of mittens in the coatroom.

But for whatever reason, the unexpected memory from yesteryear swept me back to that sultry summer’s day when I realized that my little boy wasn’t ever going to be little again...

I’d been scribbling a grocery list at the kitchen counter when my firstborn had mumbled that he was out of deodorant.

I’d nodded and promised to get him a new stick, then I’d jotted his name just below the word Cheerios as a reminder of his need. I’d grabbed my purse, stuffed my phone in my pocket, and turned toward the door. That’s when my son had finally looked up from the Sports Illustrated he was reading and nonchalantly mentioned that his best friend used something that smelled really good. 

I’d slowed my hustle, looked long into my thirteen-year-old’s baby blues and tried to interpret this new bit of  information.

“So, you want me to buy you a different kind of deodorant?” I’d asked as I unfolded my list and reached for a pen.

He’d shrugged his shoulders and murmured something about how it was time to stop smelling like Dad.

I’d laughed and suggested that smelling like his father was better than smelling like his mother. But when I’d realized my son was serious, I’d swallowed my giggles and assured him that it was fine to smell like his best friend, too. 

IMG_2824

What’s it called?” I’d queried, ready to jot down the name of that fabulous fragrance.

“I think it’s Axe or something,” my teen had replied.  

“Okay,” I’d said, scratching those three letters at the bottom of my list. “Any certain scent?”

“I don’t know for sure,” he’d hum-hawed, “but it’s the one with the blue lid…” 

My son had crinkled his forehead and cast me a dubious glance. 

I’d waved my grocery list at him like a soldier’s solute and had flashed my son a super-mom wink. “I can figure it out,” I’d said as I sauntered to the garage and headed to Walmart.

Of course, I had no idea how complicated it would be to keep my promise. 

Who knew that one brand of armpit protection could come in so many fragrances?

Three rows of them to be exact. At least a dozen of those bearing blue caps.

I’d stood in aisle twelve feeling more stupefied than super and had wondered how I’d ever find the best bud scent.

I’d scanned at all those sticks like a little girl surveying the ice cream flavors at Baskin Robbins.  Except the flavors I was considering didn’t exactly sound tasty. They were more like a string of buzz words I might overhear while waiting for an oil change….

Combustion. 

Cool Metal.

Clix.

Or like the titles of those bad-boy video games that aren’t allowed in our home…

Snake Peel.

Anarchy.

Instinct.

Or like the name of a head-throbbing heavy metal band…

Phoenix

Ignite

Gold Temptation.

For a moment, I’d wanted to abandon my mission and go find a Baskin Robbins, but I’d glanced at my watch and realized that soon the teenager in need of a new scent would also be in need of a ride to baseball practice.  So I did what any good mom would do. I grabbed all the choices with blue caps and began popping off the lids, snuffing each stick like a superhero on a mission.

IMG_4794

By the time that young mom had caught my eye, I was feeling light-headed from the fumes.

I flashed her a lame smile and wondered if I should explain myself.

Maybe I needed to let her know that even though I’d lost my little boy, I hadn’t lost my mind. 

But before I could even choke out the word teenager, that confetti-tossing-toddler reached for a bottle of Scooby Doo bubble bath and knocked a bar of soap to the floor with a clatter. His startled mom quickly dropped my gaze and turned to deal with the shopping fiasco at hand.

I pried off the blue lid on an antiperspirant labeled Fusion and wondered if confusion would be a more accurate name for the thick, musky scent.

That’s when the little guy in the cart down the aisle began to whine.  He wanted that green bottle of Scooby Doo bubble bath!

Sweet Mama was trying to calmly explain why they needed to buy the pink one instead. She had a coupon for that brand and it was a dollar and seventy five cents cheaper than the Scooby Doo kind.

But Little Guy wasn’t easily deterred. He begged and cried and voiced his opinion in a scratchy soprano squeal until his poor mama’s eyes brimmed with frustrated tears. Finally, Little Guy kicked the cart with an emphatic clank and proclaimed at the top of his lungs,  ”But, Mommy! Scooby smells better!”

I grabbed my purse and started digging for loose change.

I wanted to hand that darling mama a dollar and seventy-five cents.

I wanted to throw a warm arm around her frazzled frame and tell her what a great mommy she is–cutting coupons and carrying tissues and maintaining her calm in the midst of Walmart warfare.  And as I watched the red rise from her neck to her forehead, I wanted to give her permission to splurge on that green bottle of bubble bath. I wanted to tell her to ditch the coupon and rub those Scooby suds all over her little man’s soft pink skin and just soak in the beauty of it all.  

IMG_2786

I wanted to tell that mama who could’t even imagine life without a diaper bag that her screaming son was right– Scooby Doo does smell better than Snake Peel or Combustion or any other man-scent, as far as I can tell. 

I wanted to warn her that seasons have a way of changing when we’re not looking, and if she turns her head just for a moment, that same boy who’s screeching for bubble bath in aisle twelve won’t even want to take a bath at all.  And the son who once smelled like baby powder and sticky sweet lollipops will suddenly smell like beef jerky and sweaty old gym socks. On a good day, that is.

I wanted to whisper grace into her red-topped ears and share a smile in that narrow Walmart aisle. I wanted to tell her that I know the hours feel endless and the weeks seem long, but the moments and the days and the years are going to slip right through the slats in that shopping cart. And before she can say Scooby Doo, she’ll find herself sniffing deodorant in the aisles of Wal Mart and wishing that the only thing her son had asked for was a bright green bottle of bubble bath marked with a goofy brown dog. 

I  wanted to hug away the angst I heard in her voice, all pinched and tired, and just encourage her to savor her right now no matter how exasperating and exhausting it feels.

But I didn’t.

Instead, I prayed.

As that Sweet Mama scooted out of sight with her howling toddler and her pink bottle of bubble bath, I prayed for her. 

And for me.

And for every women raising sons in this ever-watching world.

I stood shameless in aisle twelve with a blue-capped stick of deodorant in one hand and a handful of change in the other, and I asked God to give us wisdom and grace to raise a generation of sweet-smelling boys.

‘Cause, in the end, no matter what scent our sons slap under their arms or what soap they lather on their skin, we mamas simply want their lives to be marked by the irresistible fragrance of Christ. 

My phone rang and an impatient voice cracked in my receiver. “What’s taking you so long, Mo-om?”

I mumbled something about sampling flavors at Baskin Robbins, then grabbed the only stick of deodorant I hadn’t yet inspected and tossed it into my cart. After all, as far as my tingling nose could tell, the ones with the blue lids all smell the same!

sweet smell

So, tell me, friend….what one thing do you pray most for your child? Leave your answer in the comments and I’ll join you in prayer. 

 

 

Facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestlinkedinmailFacebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestlinkedinmail

18 thoughts on “Why Our Boys Don’t Have to Smell Like Stinky Gym Socks (for every mom who wants to raise a sweet-smelling son!)

  1. Angie Holterhaus

    You did it again, Alicia! Thanks for that!!

    November 21, 2014 at 2:51 pm
    1. Alicia Bruxvoort

      Oh, Angie, you have a handsome and sweet-smelling son! Miss you, friend.

      November 21, 2014 at 4:14 pm
  2. Dianna Elder

    Thanks Alicia wonderful article! Its so nice to know I’m not the only one who feels like time has flown by.

    November 21, 2014 at 4:57 pm
  3. I just met and talked with a relative of mine who is a junior in college. I was absolutely blown away by how gracious and kind he was as he talked with me – a distant relative who came to his basketball game. And it struck me that I would just love for my kids to grow into young people who treated adults with kindness and grace – who weren’t afraid to converse pleasantly – who could thank others and honor the time they spent with them.

    November 21, 2014 at 6:49 pm
    1. Alicia Bruxvoort

      AMEN! I’m praying with you that our small ones will one day be grace-filled adults, alight with the radiance of our Savior.

      November 22, 2014 at 4:41 pm
  4. Oh friend, I am sitting in the carpool line reading this on my phone, laughing out loud and blinking tears from my eyes. You touched my heart today. Once again. (And it all applies to daughters, too!) Much love!

    November 21, 2014 at 9:19 pm
    1. Alicia Bruxvoort

      Oh, yes, I’m praying for fragrant daughters, too! So glad we could “linger together in the carpool line” today! Love you, friend.

      November 22, 2014 at 4:40 pm
  5. Patty Slager

    Smile! Smile! Smile! I’m sitting in my family room waiting to leave for my son’s basketball game. I’m laughing and smiling and all the kids are asking me what is so funny. They won’t get it. At least not until they have those stinky boys of their own and long for those toddler days when life was busy but much more simple. Bubble bath or Axe – we need to savor the sweet fragrance of each season of life and press on to raise sons and daughters that share the fragrance of Christ where ever He leads them.
    I am on a mission every time I walk out of the doors of my home to be an encouragement to young mom’s I encounter to savor each day. They go so quickly. And though the hard days seem long they are gone in the blink of an eye.

    Thanks, Alicia. I’ll try to savor that post-game smell all the way home. Better remind Nate to pack his Axe!

    November 21, 2014 at 10:59 pm
    1. Alicia Bruxvoort

      Ahh… nothing like post-game aroma of sweaty flesh and hard work. I think my mini-van will always smell a bit like the fourth quarter of a basketball game! So thankful that you’d take time to linger here, friend. I echo your sentiment- may God help us to savor the sweet fragrance of every season He gives us!

      November 22, 2014 at 4:38 pm
  6. Steph Vander Molen

    Loved it! Praying through the teeenage years over here also. Tell your hubby happy b-day!

    November 22, 2014 at 12:18 am
  7. Elva Scott

    Dear Alicia,
    I am a 65 year old grandmother who has prayed for her only grandson every single day since before he was born. Two years ago, my daughter lost her job and her home and she and my grandson moved in with me in my small 2br apartment. I walk down the hall past my grandson’s room on the way to work each morning and part of my routine is to pray for him while standing in front of the door of his room. He is a typical busy 18 year old, a freshman in college. I don’t get to see him much, nor talk to him much but I pray a lot for him.
    My morning prayer is that God go in front of him and behind him and that God’s hand may rest upon his head. I pray that he may be showered with God’s grace and mercy and that the Holy Spirit bring to his remembrance throughout the day what he had been so lovingly taught about God and His care for us.

    I love your writings, they talk to me in a real way and touch me. Even though I am no longer raising a family and I do not have a husband, I find I can always use what I read and learn on all my relationships and I have lots to share with co-workers who are raising families and with young Moms I come across on the bus.
    May you be greatly blessed!

    November 22, 2014 at 2:30 am
    1. Alicia Bruxvoort

      Elva, thank you for your life-giving words. I will join you in praying for your grandson—how blessed he is to have a grandma who covers him in prayer each morning. I love the picture of you standing at the door to his room and lifting him to the Throne of God. I, too, often linger in my kids’ rooms and pray over them. Such a privilege to carry the ones we love to Jesus.

      November 22, 2014 at 4:36 pm
  8. Oh friend!
    You have such a way – of communicating the heart of a loving mama and the deeper lessons of a loving God. Thank you and bless you as you put words to the page.
    You could pray for my girls – I would love that! May they grow in kindness, grace and wisdom, knowing how much they are loved. May they delight in God and help the hurting and grow into the fullness of who He’s created them to be. And praying the same for your precious ones. Love you, friend.

    November 22, 2014 at 7:46 am
  9. Pam

    This post had me laughing and nodding my head in agreement at the beginning and I believe a tear or two slipped out of my eyes and trickled down my cheeks by the end. What a beautiful picture you created with your words. As a mama of 3 boys (one in college, one tween, and one teen), my prayer is very much this. Yes, God, May you teach us how to raise boys who will permeate this world with your fragrance. Thank you for this beautiful post 🙂

    November 22, 2014 at 2:34 pm
  10. vicki mcnabbv

    That my boys would know the Lord with all their heart soul and mind!

    November 24, 2014 at 7:49 pm
  11. Jenn

    I knew God had given me a mother’s heart for my now 8-year old stepson when I saw his toys scattered in the bathtub and felt thankful for him, and not irritated at having to pick them out and put them in the bucket before I could take my shower.
    I can even enjoy his sharp little elbows in my neck when he climbs in to our bed in the middle of the night. I know the day will come when he doesn’t want to snuggle and my mama-heart will miss that little blond boy.

    December 6, 2014 at 1:47 am
  12. Want to copy articles from other websites rewrite them in seconds and post on your page,
    or use for contextual backlinks? You can save a lot of writing
    work, just type in gogle:
    Daradess’s Rewriter

    February 15, 2015 at 2:02 pm
  13. Louise

    I just discovered this site and loved this story about the teenage boy. We are raising our grandchildren and have had the joy of going through this as well! What a blessing to see the humor in life and know that others share the same experiences. GOD is GOOD!!

    July 9, 2016 at 6:58 am

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *