When You Wish You Could Build A Beautiful Life

Alicia BruxvoortWelcome! I’m glad you’re here.  Whether you’re an old friend or a new one, I hope you’ll stay a while.

If you like what you find, please sign up on the sidebar to receive my blog in your inbox now and then. Or find me on Facebook or Twitter and we’ll keep chasing Jesus together day by day.

Better yet, I’d love to connect with you in person. I’m scheduling speaking commitments for the remainder of 2016 and the beginning of 2017.  I’d  be delighted to join you at a special ministry event this year.

Over at Encouragement for Today, I’m telling a tale about a little girl, a butter knife and a mama who is learning to measure her days with a new ruler.  I hope you’ll hop over to P31’s website and be encouraged. 

But before you go, keep reading to learn what I’ve been learning about building a beautiful life.  (Oh, and don’t forget to sign up for today’s give-away at the end of this post!)

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Her angry howl reached my ears before she barged into the kitchen with a stomp and a wail; then my littlest girl plopped onto a chair with a storm-cloud scowl and a mighty harrumph. Once she was certain I was looking, she flopped her head into her hands and began to cry.

‘What’s wrong?’ I asked as I sat down beside my disgruntled diva and ran my fingers through her hair.

“I’m never gonna be a great builder,”  Maggie complained, her clenched fists pounding the table in frustration.
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Earlier that day, I’d taken my youngest ones to the store to spend their long-saved allowance on new Lego sets.  Joshua had chosen a watchtower to complement his favorite castle, and Maggie had picked a carriage that could transport her tiny Lego princesses.

Of course, none of their grandiose plans for play could begin until they’d pieced together all those tiny bricks.  So as soon as we’d returned home, my builders had headed to their bedrooms to begin the assembly process. They’d spent much of the afternoon hunched over little instruction booklets, building their newly-purchased sets one brick at a time.

Last I’d checked, Maggie’s stash of pastel bricks had been taking the shape of a fancy carriage with golden wheels.

“I’m almost done, Mom!” she’d said with a beaming smile when I’d peeked into her bedroom right before dinner.

She’d held up the work of her hands for me to see, and I’d oohed and ahhhed over the tiny pink seats and the latticed gold windows, the sky blue roof and the boxy white horses. Inwardly, I’d marveled at my seven-year-old’s ability to construct something so intricate with just a tiny little instruction book filled with simple diagrams.

“It’s beautiful, Maggie!” I’d said as I wrapped my girl in a one-armed hug and headed downstairs to finish dinner preparations.

Of course, now, the girl at my side wasn’t beaming with pride; she was sagging with discouragement. And I wondered what had happened to cause the sudden change.

“Honey, did your carriage break?” I asked.

My mournful girl shook her head.

“Did the wheels fall off?”

“No…”

“Then what’s wrong? I prodded.

Maggie hung her head and rehearsed what had happened once she’d finished building her small stagecoach.

Excited to show off her finished work, she’d wheeled that little carriage down the hallway to her brother’s room and parked the boxy white horses right next to Joshua’s freshly-made fortress.

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Of course, that’s when Maggie had noticed that Joshua’s new creation was bigger than hers. And in my seven-year-old’s mind, bigger means better.

“Mom,” Maggie said with a defeated sigh, “I just want my carriage to be big like Joshua’s tower so everyone will know that I’m a great builder, too!”

I almost laughed out loud at my daughter’s ludicrous complaint. Everyone knows a carriage isn’t supposed to be as big as a watch tower!

But then I felt a quiet glitch in my spirit, and I realized this humbling truth—

My daughter isn’t the first female in our family to fall prey to the comparison game.

Sometimes her mama does, too.

Oh, I’m trying to lay down my faulty measuring sticks, but sometimes, I look at the big things the people around me are doing, and I feel discouraged with the small work I am doing.

I wrote a blog post, but she wrote a book.

I mentored one woman and she discipled an entire congregation.

I flattened the laundry piles, but she scaled the corporate ladder.

I built a carriage but she built a fortress.IMG_7266

And when I start sizing up my accomplishments next to another’s, I find myself acting a bit like that rankled seven-year-old at my kitchen table.

I trade my joy for jealousy; my delight for discouragement, and my satisfaction for frustration.

And, in the end, I can sometimes forget that the good work God has created me to do will look different than the good work He’s prepared for you. 

 Maggie was still snuffling when her brother waltzed into the room.

“Why is Maggie sad?” he asked, his brow furrowing in confusion.

“She doesn’t think she’s a great builder,” I explained with a shrug.

Joshua stared at his sister’s tears and then ran upstairs and returned with her carriage and the little instruction book.

“Maggie,” he said with a wave of the little book.  “This carriage looks just like the picture on the Lego box! Did you follow these instructions to make your carriage?”

My daughter nodded her head in a quiet yes.

“I thought so,” Josh said with obvious admiration. “That’s what makes you a great builder! You know how to follow the plans step by step.”

IMG_7268

Maggie cocked her head in thought, slowly absorbing her brother’s words. Then she reached for her little carriage and held it carefully in the palms of her hands. “Do you really think it’s great?”

“No,” Joshua said with a smirk., “I think it’s beautiful .”

Maggie flashed her brother a grateful smile and then my two builders raced back upstairs to get those tiny princesses ready for the ball at the big castle in Joshua’s room.

And as I watched them disappear from sight, I wondered if my little boy’s kind words held some wisdom for life-builders like me and you, too.

Maybe the secret to building a beautiful life isn’t dependent on try-hard construction; rather, it hinges on God’s flawless instruction.

And perhaps, a beautiful life isn’t built in an instant; it’s pieced together one day at a time as we follow the Lord’s plans step by step.

You’re blessed when you stay on course,  walking steadily on the road revealed by God.
You’re blessed when you follow his directions, doing your best to find him.
That’s right—you don’t go off on your own; you walk straight along the road he set.
You, God, prescribed the right way to live; now you expect us to live it. -Psalm 119:1

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87640set_1Today I’m giving away this gorgeous ready to frame print from Dayspring to remind you that God alone can measure your worth—and He thinks you’re invaluable!

If you’d like to enter to win this little gift, just leave a comment and tell us about something beautiful God is doing in your life right now.

Or, if you’re too busy to linger, just write, “He loves me” (’cause that’s ALWAYS beautiful!)

Praying for you, dear friends–

Alicia

87 Comments

  1. Thank you for sharing this. I’ve been feeling so overwhelmed, lost, confused and broken lately. I’m not sure what God is doing in my life…. I really don’t.

  2. God is growing me in to just exactly the wife my dear husband needs! And He is showing me that what He is doing is much more important than hubby’s imperfections.

  3. God is teaching me to live in each moment instead of trying to anticipate what’s next. It’s a hard lesson to learn!

  4. Very powerful and true…

  5. Thank you so much for this post. As a young mom with two small kids it’s not easy. A question pops up often why I even got married. But knowing this is Gods plan I stay strong. This helped me realize I’m not alone and don’t need to impress anyone but my God and grow strong with my family.

  6. A beautiful life isn’t built in an instant – so true. It hasn’t stopped me from trying to put in pieces quickly without waiting for God’s instructions from time to time…so grateful for His patient love.

  7. God is amazing!! He loves me!! 🙂

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  8. Thanks for this devotion. We can to be too hard on ourselves and forget that we are a child of the King, a princess. i We are very special because of Him who loves us more than anyone. I do remember when things weren’t exactly going in the way I thought they should, my grandpa would say “it’s a great life”.

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  9. Stay eddy says:

    Thank you for this blog. It brought up some emotion. I think not only do I use a human measuring stick to measure my accomplishments, I use the same stick to measure my daughters. I seem to continue falling prey to this trap that Satan sets out for me. Thank you for redirecting me, once again, back to God. Our Jesus, who uses the a graceful, compassionate, beautiful, joyful, celebratory measuring stick.

  10. I know God is making something beautiful from my life, but I do struggle with comparison. I loved this writing today and I always enjoy your encouragement. One thing that’s beautiful right now is that my 15 year old daughter told me yesterday ( after our family vacation) that she loves our family and going on vacation together! Now, that’s not always evident, but just to know that is her feeling after a car trip and 5 nights all in the same room, that’s beautiful to me and I know that is God’s work in our lives. I’m very blessed!

  11. Thank you for this devotional this morning. We are going through some trials and thanking God for this time in our lives. We know he loves us and will provide all that we need. GOD is GOOD!!

    1. This blog entry made my day. When I was younger (though I’m still pretty young), I thought the same thoughts that dear Eleanor argued. There was a moment that I recall, however, that altered my perception of this topic. The moment I completed the first song in my musical. I felt whdetheareloly convicted and after writing and producing my original musical a year later.I already aspire to be half the composer you are, Mr. Brown. After this, you’ve won three million more points in my book.

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  12. He loves me! <3
    Thank you for these beautiful words of encouragement today. I have always measured my worth and life with a "butter knife" (I love that analogy! 🙂 ). Thank you, Jesus, for giving me new eyes to see myself. And thank you for never giving up on me.

    May God Bless you!

  13. Amy Dowty says:

    My husband and I got a dog about a month ago. She is a rescue and has had a hard life but has adjusted beautifully and been such a blessing to our little family. I was also able to take a trip to see a dear friend who has breast cancer that has metastasized into her liver and bones. My Mom and sister were able to travel with me and she was in good spirits when we were there. It was also a great support for her husband. Please pray for Megan to regain hope that through prayer and chemo she can receive a miracle. Also on that trip I spent time with the 14 year old family dog who passed quickly and painlessly a few days later.

  14. Becky Liles says:

    Following instructions… Such a beautiful thoughts on the importance God places in our obedience and the value he has in what it builds.

  15. Your devotional lesson was so beautifully expressed that it made me want to cry!! Not tears of sadness, but tears of pure joy. You have a wonderful, fresh gift for the Word and for sharing it. Thank you for allowing God to use you and for sharing what He shares with you.

  16. Wow. I’m just sitting here, worshipping Jesus because of his workmanship through you dear one! I am sooooooo guilty of that constant demeaning self-talk; and Always needing to have my vision of things Reframed. It reminds me of one of my favorite toys— a kaleidoscope!!! (the ones without glitter and glam in them) A kaleidoscope with turn literally ANYTHING into a glorious tapestry of beauty. And that means, each of us, ladies!! Each and every one. Thank you for sharing and being obedient to the call of God on your life, Alicia. ~I just want to float here in this thankful, reverent place, forever~
    Amen.

  17. Feeling less than loved right now! Just got a call from work and the family I work with has requested I never come back again. Boom! Out of a job until they find me another home to work in. Things were not warm and fuzzy when I left there yesterday but I was not expecting this! My husband is off work with serious heart problems. We could use some prayers please!

  18. God is helping me become the young lady He desires by giving me situations, such as chronic pain, in which I can grow and develop spiritually and form a closer relationship and dependence on Him.

  19. This is exactly what I am experiencing right now. I am getting away from needing my parent’s approval. I will always love them and respect them, but I have spent so much of my life using their judgement as my measuring stick. I try to follow God’s will for my life and it doesn’t always seem to be the same as what my parent’s would pick for me. I am beginning to see I am my own person and I make good choices. I ask them for their opinions, but ultimately I measure up to God and His approval.

  20. Lisa Richardson says:

    God is working in me to become a better wife. I am learning to take my eyes of me and my needs and focus on my husband and his needs. My verse.. John 3:30 I must become less so He can become greater.

  21. The Lord has been showing me his unconditional love specifically in my work life. He’s shown me that he loves me right now, right here just as I am; an imperfect human being, flawed and sinful. I’m unfinished and it’s “OK” that I didn’t get my degree yet. I’m not any less of a person because of it. I don’t have to struggle for anyone’s attention, admiration, affection or approval. I’m no less of a person because of what I make a year. I know it’s perfectly fine to go back to school but to do it for the right reasons and not because I want to be seen a certain way by others. He’s really been leaning in and whispering his love to me and telling me I’m enough and that I don’t have to keep trying to be more. It’s truly a revelation and I praise him for that! Amen!

  22. Spending time at rest in His Love…He loves me! A beautiful blessing of some quiet time!

  23. A few months ago I lost my job and a couple of weeks later found out that I have major water damage in my house that will be very expensive to repair. I started feeling totally inadequate when the job search continued to be fruitless and each estimate I received on the house repairs was more exorbitant than the previous one. Then the mini panic attacks began. I was paralyzed when it came to making a decision. And when I thought I knew what I wanted to do, I’d second guess it and end up doing nothing. And I would end up in bed or on the couch – paralyzed with fear. I was hopeless and, therefore, helpless. Then one day, while praying for a new job, I realized I should be thanking God for His unwavering love and professing my faith in HIS perfect plan for me that would happen at His perfect time. At that moment a peace came over me. And though I am still in the middle of both of the above mentioned issues, I am waiting on the Lord and moving forward with my life instead of panicking and hiding my head in the sand. Knowing, without a doubt that He will never foresake me.

  24. He loves me! I needed this word today. I am trying not to compare myself to others and get discouraged but I still do sometimes. I need to hear that He Loves Me no matter what……

  25. So thankful for His amazing love and grace!

  26. Michelle Bills says:

    Oh how I love your posts and inspiring words on P31! So very often the words you speak are right where I’m at, and your words are so encouraging to my heart. I love how you comfort and encourage your babies when they are upset. Too often I get frustrated with mine for what seems like days of complaining and crying about silly things. Lately I’m wondering if part of that is coming from me. Am I complaining too much, am I showing them how thankful I am for the many blessings we have? I know I’m not comforting and encouraging them enough through this. And so I am praying, that Jesus helps me; helps me to comfort and encourage them more; helps me to listen better and not automatically think it’s pure craziness; and to show them constantly that I am thankful and without complaints myself. Like you said, step by step my children and myself will get there with Jesus; in the progress that he has prescribed. Thank you again for your open and honest heart; for your encouragement that touches my soul.

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  27. He loves me! He makes all things beautiful in time.

  28. Kim Davis says:

    Loved this! We are missionaries and have had to return to the States for a medical furlough to help our daughter who has been struggling. It has been a long, slow, and many times, frustrating process, but I am beginning to see the beautiful things God is doing and building into each of us as we go through this process. God’s ways are not our ways…they are much better! Thanks for your words of encouragement today!

  29. I love this post! Oh, how many times God has used my boys over the years to speak truth to my mama heart. And what a truth to remember. HE has a purpose for each of us. Big or small our job is to follow HIS directions one obedient step at a time.

    1. å§変お疲れのことと思います。どうかここで相談して少しでも楽になれていたらいいのですが…思うに,最初は確かに助けてもらったり先輩ママ?として頼りになったかもしれません。でも,今の彼女はその時の彼女と同一人物ではなく,違う人になってしまったのだと思います。だって,あなたは自分より後に生まれた友人を助けてあげたりする時に,彼女の家の前で子供におしっこさせますか?ここ日本ですよ?ありえないですよね。人の家に云々もありますが,最近幼児を狙う変質者が多い中で誰が見て撮影してるかわからないのに外で出させるという自分の子供に対してもアウトだろ~と思うからです。そういうことが分からない人は,先輩ママとしてあれこれ教えてくれた人と同じですか?違いますよね。だから距離を置くことに罪悪感を感じることはないです。それに一番大事なことに気付いてますか?ママ友からあなたの友達になったお友達そのものと,ママ友でしかない人とは根本的に違うんです。前者は友達だけど,後者は「知り合い」「あったら話す程度の顔見知り」でしょ?しかも友人になった人とちがってママ友は子供を通じた付き合いでしかない。問題の彼女も子供の育児サークルでの知り合いでまだ友達になってないからママ友ですよね?子供同士が仲良くてどうしても!っていうならともかく,お友達に泣かされてもâ—¤‹Ã¢Â—‹å›ãƒžãƒžã¯â—‹â—‹å›ã‚’庇う。先に手を出して虐めるのは○○君なのに…ってお子さんだって理不尽に思って本当は好きじゃないかも?お子さんのためにも距離を置いていいと思います。他のサークルも試してみるとか,或いは習い事を始めたり,土日や夜は「家族で過ごしてるから遠慮してくれる?昼も夜もなくそこまで付き合いきれない」と言うか「旦那に怒られるからごめんまたね」で叩き切る。その後は留守電にしてスルー(暴言吐いてくれたら証拠になるから消さないで)。元々のあなたのお友達や親と会ったりしてみたらどうかしら?あと誘われる前に子供と二人で出掛けてしまう。いないならしょうがないもの。既に自分の手下みたいに振舞ってるんですから,ここで切らないと子供も彼女の息子の手下扱いになっちゃうよ!頑張ってね!

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  30. Jane Rickhoff says:

    I found your blog today. I am truly loved!

  31. I loved your devotion today! Thank you for the sweet reminders that we need to use the right measuring tools and simply follow the instructions that God has given us in His Word!

  32. He loves me and will see me through this very challenging trial!

  33. God is helping me set aside time each day of summer break to read or play a game with my children. Hopefully, by the end of summer, this time will increase. A complaint of my childhood is that although my mom stayed home, she was never willing to do anything with us. So, I am making sure my kids’ childhoods are better.

  34. I am learning that He does love me and that is what matters!

  35. He loves me! I am learning to believe and trust this truth more each day. Thank you Jesus!

  36. Becky Jones says:

    He is slowly transforming me into the woman He wants me to be, though painful and slow. My marriage and family are being restored but we have a long way to go. I needed to read this truth and live by it!

  37. Karen Pope says:

    Loved this post!! Being content and not comparing myself to others is a constant struggle for me. The deeper I go in my relationship with Jesus, more of Him is reflected in what I do. He really is enough. Blessings on your day!!!

  38. Oh, how these words blessed me today! God is teaching me to look to Him for my self-worth and not to compare my walk to another’s. He loves me and that is enough!

  39. I loved this today!

    God is helping my to be content in my circumstances. Beauty from ashes.

  40. Julie Arp says:

    Everyday that God gives me is another day to rejoice and be thankful that I am a child of His. He will never leave me nor forsake me. 🙂

  41. He loves me!! Always.

  42. He loves me enough to show me my faults and gives me the grace to cry out to Him for forgiveness and real change! I needed this reminder today to stay faithful in the path He has set before me. Thank you!

  43. He loves me! I so needed this encouragement today! Thank you!

  44. Transforming me, one day at a time!

  45. Christianne says:

    This definitely hit home for me! I constantly feel like I don’t measure up. With my fibromyalgia I have to scale back and rest, which creates more feelings of inadequacy. Thank you for the reminder!

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      Thanks so much for this reading today! God has given everyone their own assignment & I need this reminder today & probably every day!!! I just need to keep reflecting on who He is helping me to become on a daily basis! 💗

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  46. God is showing me Himself, His nature, and His unconditional love for me. He is encouraging me to let go of my measuring stick. Your thoughts for today are confirmation of this. Thank you for your transparency and honesty.

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  47. He loves me. I’m thankful.

  48. Besides loving me, He is real to me more than my own immediate family – husband and daughter. Everyday in some way He speaks to me through one source or another at the moment I need a word from him or provides what I need at the tim I need it and sometimes through the most unexpected ways. Bringing my little family together in small ways and small steps of faith is the most wonderful thing right now. Everything isn’t all roses all the time but he is working things out in his own way and time and slowly healing my heavy, broken heart.

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