The Overflow! where souls are filled and faith is spilled

The Prayer that Changed My Marriage

Hi, friends. I’m so glad you’re here.

If you’re stopping by from Proverbs 31, WELCOME! 

I know there are many places you could be today, and I’m thankful you’ve chosen to spend a few minutes with me. Whether you’re an old friend or a new one, I pray that you’ll be blessed as you linger in this place where faith is spilled and souls are filled.

d8.13 If you like what you find, feel free to subscribe to The Overflow so you won’t miss a single post, or connect with me on Facebook or Twitter. I’d love to get to know you more. I’m also scheduling speaking engagements for the 2015-2016 school year. I’d love to meet you face to face at one of your favorite ministry events in the year to come. Feel free to contact me at overflow@aliciabruxvoort.net if you’d like to explore that possibility.

Tomorrow I’ll celebrate twenty-two years of marriage to that cute boy who sat behind me in the fifth grade! And in honor of my anniversary, I’m over at “Encouragement for Today” sharing the best marriage advice I ever received.  If you haven’t read it, be sure to check it out here. But before you go, may I tell you about the simple prayer that changed my marriage and altered my heart?  Maybe it will encourage you, too! *******************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

I was putting away laundry in the walk-in closet when four-year-old Lizzy meandered into my bedroom to find me.

She poked her curly-haired head through the open closet door and jumped over the laundry basket to wrap her slender hands around my knees.

I hugged her and invited her to help me stack her daddy’s t-shirts on the shelf, but she took three steps back and assured me she was just leaving. 
IMG_1637However, just as she began to take three giant steps backwards, her eyes landed on a long white box stashed on the top shelf above my hanging clothes.

Intrigued by the sight of the unmarked box, Lizzy stopped in her tracks and craned her neck to get a better look.  “Mommy, what’s in that box?” she asked.  “Is it a present?”

“No,” I replied as I emptied the laundry basket, “That’s my wedding dress.”

“Your wedding dress?” Lizzy repeated incredulously. “I didn’t know you used to be a bride!”

I glanced at the spit-up-stained t-shirt and stretched-out sweatpants I was wearing and tried to decide whether I should laugh or cry. “Honey, I still am a bride,” I replied with a subtle smile.

Lizzy took one last curious look at me; then shrugged her shoulders and skipped out of the closet.  As she disappeared down the hallway, I heard my confounded girl mumble under her breath. “I thought brides were fancy…”

I flipped over the empty laundry basket and sat down on my makeshift stool. Weary tears brimmed in my eyes, and I was surprised by the rush of emotions stirred by my daughter’s innocent comment. My daughter’s words unearthed a strange kind of grief deep inside of me.

I didn’t look quite as fancy as the star-struck girl who had stood at her husband’s side on a sultry Saturday in August and pledged to love him for a lifetime. But more devastating than that was the fact that I no longer felt like a beautiful bride, either.

Or maybe, more accurately,  I felt like a used-to-be-bride. 

When I’d slipped into that white dress on our wedding day, I’d imagined that our marriage would take us to higher levels of joy and savory summits of satisfaction. But somewhere along the way, the realities of life had sucked the very life out of our marriage. And slowly, our relationship had slipped into a canyon of apathy and disappointment.

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Moonlight walks had been replaced my midnight feedings; candlelight dinners trumped by Happy Meals, and romantic movie nights had been ousted by Disney flicks and singing purple dinosaurs. The carefree time we’d once spent dreaming and dating was now spent trying to figure out how to pay the bills and how to manage the pressing needs of our growing family.

The same two people who had begun as starry-eyed-soulmates had slowly morphed into blurry-eyed roommates with a houseful of small children and a life full of demands. Our marriage was no longer lingering on the peaks of bliss; it was slipping dangerously into a pit of frustration.

And though I knew we needed change,  I didn’t know what to do.

As a newlywed, I’d often begun my days with this simple little prayer:

Lord, give my husband a new wife and let it be me.

It was a poignant plea borrowed straight from the pages of Stormie O’ Martian’s book, The Power of a Praying Wife.

When my feet were planted on the heights of love, it was a prayer filled with possibility and hope.

I loved the idea of God fashioning a new me; a me that was beautiful and brave, whimsical and wise. A me that was a fabulous traveling companion and a compassionate friend.

However, as the years tumbled one upon another and our feet got stuck in the daily grind, our hope got buried beneath diapers and dishes. Overwhelmed with bills and babies, toddler tantrums and time-outs, I didn’t feel whimsical or wise, beautiful or brave. I felt tired and jaded and disgruntled.

And the more discouraged I became, the more I blamed my husband for my discontent.

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In time, my paltry prayers shifted from “change me,” to “change him.”

After all, I rationed, if my husband would change, then surely our marriage would change, too.

However, as I sat in the closet with that long white box looming above my head, this used-to-be-bride knew that she’d camped out in a canyon of complaints for far too long.

I needed to take the first step in the long hike to the mountaintop of restoration.

I wasn’t sure I could get out of that canyon of complacency alone.

I needed a rescue rope. Or an airlift. Or a miracle.

But I was certain of one thing–I didn’t want my daughter’s words to be true. I didn’t want to live my life as a used-to-be bride.

I wanted to be my husband’s crown and joy.

I wanted to scale the peaks of love of which we’d dreamed when I’d donned that fancy dress and said I do in the flicker of candlelight.

So, from the depths of the closet and the depths of my heart, I resurrected that simple prayer and gave it my own spin:

Jesus, give my husband a new bride and let it be me.

It felt awkward. And risky. And hard.

But then a peculiar peace rushed between the walls of that small closet, and I felt like I could almost hear my Savior say, “I thought you’d never ask.”

I’ll be honest, in the days that followed, I  wanted Jesus to snap His fingers and instantly transform.

I wanted to be airlifted overnight out of the pit and gallantly placed on the high plains of praise.

But the One who’d heard my prayer had a different plan.

He didn’t send a helicopter for my heart or a rescue team to direct my path.

He simply joined me in that lonely cavern and held me in His arms.

And step by step, He carried me to a place of transformation and truth.

In that season when I felt like a used-to-be-bride, Jesus invited me to cling to His presence and drink deeply of His love.  He held me gently next to His heart and whispered, “You are mine and I love you.”

Over and over, Christ reminded me that I was not just the bride of my high school sweetheart. I was the bride of the King of Kings.

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And with passion and persistence, He begged me to embrace my true identity.

In that season of learning and listening, of being humbled and healed, I began to see the evidence of my Savior’s love right there in the midst of my daily grind.

He painted His passion in the sunset and shouted His delight through the daisies. He sang over me through the laughter of my children and invited me to dance in the shimmer of starlight that streamed through my windows.

He wooed me to His heart through those love notes in His holy writ.

And little by little,  I began to believe that I am who He says I am…

Totally loved–

 I have loved you with an everlasting love.  I have drawn you with loving-kindness. (Jeremiah 31:3)

Beautiful and treasured–

He is enthralled by my beauty ( Psalm 45:11)

His heart’s song and his soul’s delight.

 You’re beautiful from head to toe, my dear love, beautiful beyond compare, absolutely flawless…(Song of Songs 4:6 )

And as this used-to-be bride let the truth of my own identity sink deep into my soul, something amazing happened.

My discontent began to disappear.

My critical spirt began to fade.

My dirge of disappointment began to quiet.

My Savior knew that to rekindle my marriage, I first needed to fall in love with the One who could set my heart aflame.

And sure enough, as I embraced my identity as the Bride of Christ, my heart came back to life.

Suddenly, I was set me free to be the woman I’d been created to be, free to change and grow and lavishly love the man God had given me.

But maybe more importantly, my husband was set free, as well. 

As I viewed myself through the eyes of Christ, I began to see my husband in a new light, too.

When I let Jesus be my Perfect Groom, Rob didn’t have to be.

When I let Christ fill the holes in my heart, Rob no longer had to.

If I was sad, I didn’t need Rob to create my happiness.

If I was discouraged, I didn’t need Rob to fix my despair.

If I was uncertain, I didn’t need Rob to be my confidence.

It’s been a decade since I sat in the closet with that long white box perched above my head, a decade since I first uttered that prayer that changed our marriage.

And though there are still days when this journey called marriage feels wearisome and this long hike to glory feels steep, I know one thing for sure.

I’m not the same bride who twenty-two years ago stood at the altar in a fancy gown of white.

My husband has been given a new bride.

And I’m so glad it’s me.

 

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Tomorrow, I’ll probably stand on a chair and cheer for my favorite man in honor of our anniversary. We may flip through our wedding album or catch a sunset at the beach. We may slip into fancy clothes or throw on our tennis shoes for a long hike.  I’m not sure how we’ll celebrate, but I’m certain of this– before our special day is over, I’ll take time to thank God for the lavish gift of marriage. And I’ll probably slip into my closet and take a long grateful look at that shiny white box that sits on the top shelf.

******************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

In honor of two decades and two years of marriage, I’m giving away a little package to help you cheer on your spouse as you journey together.  Consider it an invitation to celebration right beneath your roof! To enter to win, just join the applause in the comments and tell me something you love about your spouse!

This whimsical gift includes…

giant hand clapperlove notes *A handy-dandy set of “clapping” hands: Use this fabulous noise maker when you stand on a chair or keep your feet on the ground.

* A pre-made packet of love notes for you and your spouse to use as you encourage one another.

*And a sweet sampling of chocolate (because sometimes chocolate speaks love the loudest!)

 

 

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136 thoughts on “The Prayer that Changed My Marriage

  1. Amy M

    My husband is an awesome provider! I am so thankful for his love of our family!

    August 13, 2015 at 9:05 am
    1. I am so thankful to have a husband who is my #1 cheerleader and I pray that I will become his.

      August 13, 2015 at 9:56 pm
  2. My husband has always said I’m beautiful. I used to believe he had to say that because he’s my husband. The more he said it and the love that would shine has made me believe it. He also made sure to tell our daughter often. He never wanted her to have that void like I did growing up. Since he does this I’ve learned to tell him and our sons they are handsome. Love him

    August 13, 2015 at 9:20 am
  3. Tina

    My husband works hard to provide for us. He cares for us & our home. He helps my mom around her house. Thank you for these awesome reminders of how to be a loving & supportive wife.

    August 13, 2015 at 9:26 am
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  4. Tara

    My husband is an incredible dad. He is patient enough to teach them from their bad choices. He is faithful in prayer…every night without fail he kneels beside our bed to talk to God. My man tells me I’m beautiful every.single.day! Thank you for encouraging me to be a better wife for the man who cares SO much for me<3

    August 13, 2015 at 9:56 am
  5. Kathy

    My big, strong caveman husband cries at Hallmark commercials…..iron on the outside….cotton on the inside…heart of gold…and our children and I always feel lived and protected….

    August 13, 2015 at 10:10 am
  6. Rita

    My husband works hard at making me feel cherished, respected and loved.

    August 13, 2015 at 10:10 am
  7. Stacy

    I love how my husband is there thru the hard times taking care of a preemie baby and staying the night at the hospital with my terminally ill father. The good things are what I need to dwell on each day.

    August 13, 2015 at 10:11 am
  8. Linda

    I am so blessed for a marriage of 36 years with a guy who celebrates me, too. God is good; all the time!

    August 13, 2015 at 10:13 am
  9. cheryl

    He calls me beautiful even when I”m not……but he honestly thinks I am. Wonderful to see the love and admiration in his eyes. Thank you for this reading…..i need to be his cheerleader more!

    August 13, 2015 at 10:34 am
  10. Michelle

    i always try to find celebrations to make my hubby smile. He is a very sick young man at 62 and can not decipher always what is going on. He has an aphasia dementia that is eating away at his ability to think. Sometimes it is not a celebration but sadness. Thank you for this reminder that it should always be a celebration. Great advice!

    August 13, 2015 at 10:42 am
  11. K.Goff

    My husband is always helping out around the house to make my day easier. He gives of his time to do for our family and others. He truly has the gift of service.

    August 13, 2015 at 10:57 am
  12. Beth

    I love this, after 24 years of marriage and at ages 47 and 54 we have decided to foster children again, our biological children are 22 and 19 and now we have a 9 month old and 7 yr old that has joined us, and through all the changes and new schedules and commitments, we sometimes forget each other through it all, and I really like your message, thank you for sharing! Its an eye opener

    August 13, 2015 at 11:02 am
  13. April K

    I’m grateful for my extremely hard working husband’s sense of humor, laid back demeanor and complete lack of walking in the door with any sort of complaint or bad attitude. 22 years and 3 kids ago I had no idea how valuable those qualities would be.

    August 13, 2015 at 11:20 am
  14. Debbie

    My husband is faithfully by my side as I begin to walk through a second bout of cancer – loving me, taking care of me, and showing the world around us what true devotion is… I am forever grateful!

    August 13, 2015 at 11:32 am
  15. Jan DeVaney

    After almost 44 years of marriage, three grown sons, 9 beautiful grandchildren and many ups and downs in this adventure, I can honestly say my husband is my greatest fan and I am his. Keeping our eyes on Christ is the key! Thank you for your honest words of encouragement to women! Bless you!

    August 13, 2015 at 11:33 am
  16. Mandy

    I so enjoyed this encouragemt! My husband is a servant leader, something I’ve always appreciated about him. He often makes baked oatmeal for the kids and I to eat for breakfast, and it always makes us feel so loved.

    August 13, 2015 at 11:35 am
  17. Michelle

    My husband has always loved me just the way I am. He works hard and supports the family and does all he can to make sure all his “girls” are well taken care of. He is an amazing man and father and I am blessed that God gave him to me.

    August 13, 2015 at 11:37 am
  18. Karol

    The big one for me (and one of the most important) is his loyalty to ‘us’. 🙂

    August 13, 2015 at 11:39 am
  19. Amber

    My husband is patient and loving. He loves me even when I’m unlovable. He provides me and our son with security. He is an awesome example of Christian love.

    August 13, 2015 at 11:40 am
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  20. sylvia

    My husband has been a great friend for 34 years.

    August 13, 2015 at 11:40 am
  21. Linda

    I am so grateful for my husband. He encouraged me as I went back to school and continues to encourage me now that I’m back at work after being a stay at home mom for 20 years. I could not have done with it with out his help and encouragement.

    August 13, 2015 at 11:44 am
  22. Terry Moore

    Today is my 37th wedding anniversary. There have been mountains and valleys, but through it all we have loved each other. My husband has been my biggest fan and I could not imagine living life without him.

    August 13, 2015 at 11:53 am
  23. Robyn May

    My husband has a terrific sense of humor and can make me smile or laugh when I’m feeling down. He has the amazing gift of encouragement and it shines bright like a light in our home. I hope and pray that my two boys become like their dad!

    August 13, 2015 at 11:55 am
  24. I love my husband’s passion for his career. Not everyone can enjoy going to work but he truly does. He isn’t annoyed by working and that helps our family life.

    August 13, 2015 at 11:57 am
  25. Wendy G. Bronson

    Celebrating my husband Dale has become the joy of my heart. In our 8th year of marriage we were three weeks away from the attorney to file for divorce. Our love was shattered. We were spent. Then we both heard God’s Spirit tell us we had no Biblical grounds. We turned back to each other & began our faith walk. We’re celebrating 16 years in October. It’s been full of ups & downs, but the love we share now is deeper & richer. God is good all the time!

    August 13, 2015 at 12:03 pm
  26. Dana

    I love that my husband loves me through it all. Financial issues , struggles with children, whatever. He cheers me on as I change careers and step out into unknown territory. We may not have it all together, but he loves me anyway! And I love him for it!!

    August 13, 2015 at 12:11 pm
  27. Wendy

    Thank you for the reminder that I need to be my husbands #1 fan. I am thankful that he is such a loving dad to our 4 kids and he truly wants the best for us.

    August 13, 2015 at 12:15 pm
  28. Amy Uplinger

    Despite all his pain which he endures daily due to Chronic Lyme Disease, I love how my husband can still laugh about life. His giggle has changed so much due to his diarthria ( speaks very garbled and difficult to control tongue movements) but it gives me Joy to hear his laughter through all we’ve been through the last fifteen years. We will celebrate our 28 the anniversary on a Saturday in August, the day we were married. I Will Cheer for him though I can’t stand on a chair due to a broken knee! I’ll cheer and dance for my husband with the aid of my crutches and Praise God we are beginning a new year together.

    August 13, 2015 at 12:19 pm
  29. Jessica

    God has been wooing me into a true love relationship with Him this year, decades after being saved & almost 3 decades after getting married as a teen. I needed this today! What a blessing! We are in the midst of moving to Las Vegas and I am grateful for my husband’s clear head when making decisions.

    August 13, 2015 at 12:25 pm
  30. Deb

    ‘change him’ – oh how I used to pray this until…God gently led me in asking Him to change me, restore the joy of my salvation, and my hope and trust in Him. Amazing! When I stopped trying to be the Holy Spirit in my husband’s life, it was a joy to watch God work His way and restored our love/peace! Thanks so much for sharing words of encouragement!

    August 13, 2015 at 12:32 pm
  31. Annie

    My husband is honest, devoted and loyal! I need to work harder to keep the positive things in the front of my mind. We are approaching our 20th anniversary in a couple weeks and we are truly struggling so thank you for this and for your blog!!

    August 13, 2015 at 12:36 pm
  32. I love that my husband loves me and helps me to laugh more, live more, and risk more. He’s patient, a hard worker, and he loves God with all his being. I need to learn to cheer him on more instead of looking at the little things that don’t really matter in the long term anyway. I need to stand on a chair and applaud him. After reading the blog, I sent him a text with a clapping hands graphic! Thank you.

    August 13, 2015 at 12:41 pm
  33. Dawn Parks

    My husband loves me with all his heart even though I have broken his. I am so grateful God gave me my husband. I am learning to see how God sees me and accept it. Thank you for you words today!!

    August 13, 2015 at 12:41 pm
  34. Debbie

    My wonderful husband, of 37 years, has never lost his sense of humor and wit. Everyday he makes me smile and laugh.

    August 13, 2015 at 12:45 pm
  35. Kim

    Yesterday marked 20 years of marriage to my high school sweetheart! He surprised me by creating a ribbon marked path through our house of photos of the two of us though the years. The “path” ended at a vase filled with twenty roses! What a wonderful romantic husband I am married to! Our three children enjoyed the photo journey as well. I am so proud of the example he is to them of a loving husband. I would love to do a better job of being his cheerleader…hard to do in the midst of the daily grind of busy family life!

    August 13, 2015 at 12:49 pm
  36. Kami

    My husband makes me feel beautiful, even in my sweats!!!!

    August 13, 2015 at 12:56 pm
  37. Sarah

    My husband is my biggest fan. Even when I don’t love myself, he loves me unconditionally…he truly inspires me to be the woman God planned for me to be day in & day out. I am so blessed!

    August 13, 2015 at 1:03 pm
  38. Millisa

    Even though we didn’t have the money for a big celebration for my 40th birthday, my husband made me a delicious dinner. He set the table and we had a beautiful evening with our 3 children. He is thoughtful and I want to be a better cheerleader for him.

    August 13, 2015 at 1:05 pm
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  39. Christy

    Its so amazing! Our anniversary is coming up August 19th and even though it will be just six years, I’ve recently had close to the same eye opener as you described in your post. I did the Power of a Praying Wife and have done a few other bible studies. I finally figured out that God is my happiness and that my husband is not. Not that he can’t make me happy, but I’ve got to quit looking for him to fill me up. Only GOD can do that. Its a blessing and offers so much peace. Our marriage has struggled for six years and since I’ve been giving it all to God, started in March, it has changed so much for the better.
    Thanks for the reminder about the prayer about giving my husband a new wife and let it be me.
    I will stand and applaud my husband tonight!!

    August 13, 2015 at 1:27 pm
  40. Robin Fisher

    My husband is selfless and loves me unconditionally. He has loved me past my pain and encourages me to be my best self.

    August 13, 2015 at 1:43 pm
  41. Jennifer

    My husband is great at checking in with me during the day. He’s wonderful to and with my family and patient with our children when I am not (and vice versa!). He wants me to be happy.

    August 13, 2015 at 1:47 pm
  42. Tami Crossland

    I am very grateful the after a long week away my husband comes home and helps me with the house. He knows that I do so much during the week that just helping a little is a big help. He has always been away for weeks at a time and I have been home taking care of the 7 kids.

    August 13, 2015 at 1:48 pm
  43. Stephanie

    I love how my husband loves me – unconditionally and with an awesome since of humor 🙂

    August 13, 2015 at 1:49 pm
  44. jo

    Thanks Alicia, for this story and reminder, that we are all God’s bride first. My husband of almost 20 years is my best friend and never fails to kiss me goodbye and tells me he loves me daily! Sometimes, though, when the messiness of life or my husband’s messiness of scattering clothes, tools, and you name it, everywhere, but where they should go, it is easy to forget the good and slip into a negative pattern. I also liked Kim ‘ s husband’s idea with the photo ribbon, thanks for that, I am going to borrow that idea for our 20th!

    August 13, 2015 at 2:02 pm
  45. Dori Sheese

    My husband tells me I look nice when he sees me in my work clothes or Sunday clothes! Love him dearly!

    August 13, 2015 at 2:11 pm
  46. Jenn

    I love how easy-going my husband is! And his sparkly blue eyes and sense of humor are fabulous! He had been a loving single father to my step-son for 6 years and is allowing me to journey with him toward being the parents that God would have us to be. I am truly blessed to see God drawing my sweet husband to Himself!

    August 13, 2015 at 2:13 pm
  47. Sonjia Kerr

    My husband is the best possible mate for me. He leads me, takes care of me and loves me in spite of my many flaws. Thirty one years and 6 children have not dimmed his admiration and love for me – he is my biggest fan!

    August 13, 2015 at 2:17 pm
  48. Sharon

    We have been married now for what will be 6 years in a few days and my husband has been the best caretaker to me through these developing years of sickness we have come to face. I couldn’t have asked for a more understanding spouse and protector. I am truly his biggest fan!

    August 13, 2015 at 2:26 pm
  49. Gina

    Lord open my eyes to see my husband the way you do. I am blinded by hurt ,anger, and life. Please send my husband a new wife and it to be me. Thank you LORD for coming along side me and loving me even when I don’t feel or act loveable.

    August 13, 2015 at 2:36 pm
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  50. Pam

    Congrats on your anniversary! I can so relate to this post in so many ways. Life with raising boys, paying bills, and all that comes with the every day does have a way of creating a wedge, sometimes small and sometimes big, between my husband and me. Thank you for this reminder to focus on Jesus first.

    August 13, 2015 at 2:39 pm
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      July 19, 2016 at 6:06 am
  51. Cindy Mahar

    Gerry is such a hard worker and servant for God! He goes to a construction job everyday and plans for our future. He always knows the right thing to say.. Is gracious and loving. He seems to only see my beauty and positive attributes even though I have stooped to criticism. He calls me “My Angel” and speaks of me to others as his Bride. Thank you God for the incredible gift of my husband!

    August 13, 2015 at 2:39 pm
    1. Cindy Mahar

      This is strange… I write this at 739am PST and this says I did it at 239pm.

      August 13, 2015 at 2:43 pm
  52. Olga

    My husband is my best friend. He has kept me laughing for the last 25 years. He is a hard working provider for our family and just loves spending time with his 3 sons and grandaughter. Today’s message really touched my heart. I too want to be my husband’s biggest cheerleader!

    August 13, 2015 at 2:51 pm
    1. That’s a crajcercakk answer to an interesting question

      July 19, 2016 at 1:39 am
    2. I do not know whether these medical maggots perform their mission, it seems to me that they are not. Too bad! I hope that next time they will succeed. But regardless of all, this video deserves a 5 star rating from me.Good find Imwithu2 !

      November 3, 2016 at 11:38 am
    3. Hope you have a safe trip. I don’t know how you do it but I am glad you do.I’d love to win this set. I’ve seen some beautiful creations using it. I’d like to play with it too!

      November 3, 2016 at 4:02 pm
  53. Jane

    I love that my husband wakes up each day with the Lord and a positive spirit that “It’s a new day!”

    August 13, 2015 at 3:04 pm
  54. Emily Brown

    I love that my husband is a wonderful father to our kids! Thank you for this message reminding me to focus on the good and not the bad!

    August 13, 2015 at 3:54 pm
  55. Melissa

    My husband is sweet, affectionate and always compliments me!! He provides and will one day be a great dad! He is funny and easy going. He’s smart, faithful and good looking!! Im blessed!!!

    August 13, 2015 at 3:56 pm
  56. Eileen Wong

    After 28 years of marriage, my husband lovingly and generously includes me in every physical activity he engages in…hiking, biking, snorkeling, riding our segways…he makes me feel like we are 21 and dating again!

    August 13, 2015 at 3:57 pm
  57. Pat Parker

    Well, I can relate to this SOOOO much. wow. And today, after my husband got home from his last midnight shift for the week, he told me he has a full blown summer cold. took meds and went to bed. When he stopped at the pharmacy to get some cold medicine, he also picked me up a chocolate bar. I went back to sleep and when I got up later, knowing he’s in bed for the day, my first thought was “he’s sick again…………..for his next two days off…………this happens SOOOOO much.” And then I read your devotional and had a “re-thought.” Bless his heart for having to work midnights…….even when he’s sick……….and for the thought of me at the store while he bought something to help him sleep………when he wakes up, I will applaud him. Quietly, as he’ll more than likely have a headache……….nonetheless, I will cheer for him. thank you so much for this reminder!

    August 13, 2015 at 4:08 pm
  58. Wendy

    My husband of 17 years has always been willing to assist me with the many household tasks to help lighten my load. He has a way of knowing when an extra hand is just what I need.

    August 13, 2015 at 4:23 pm
  59. Monica

    Thank you for your “applause” encouragement, what a great reminder. My husband and I walk every morning for exercise, and as we do we pray for our day and for our family and for each other. I am blessed to have a Godly husband!

    August 13, 2015 at 4:27 pm
  60. Amy S

    My husband is faithful and I love his passion for helping kids, whether it’s through his teaching or his coaching.

    Also, thanks for this post. It was just what I needed to hear today.

    August 13, 2015 at 4:36 pm
  61. Brenda Manning

    God knew what I needed in a husband, growing up w/out the love I needed, God knew I needed the right love. My husband loves me unconditionally, he is the very example of Christ’s love in 1 Cor. 13. He works hard and unselfishly everyday for us. There are no words to express my gratitude and thanks to my Jehovah for my husband, so I pray He listens to my heart 🙂 thank you for your honesty in your marriage life.

    August 13, 2015 at 4:56 pm
  62. Claudia

    I love how my husband always makes me laugh. We have such a great time together. I can totally relate to your article, lately it’s been tough with work, school and church. Thanks for the reminder of being his biggest fan!

    August 13, 2015 at 4:57 pm
  63. Christi

    What an awesome reminder of something that takes such little time and makes such a big impact! Of course, our selfishness gets in the way of us doing this sometimes, but I love being reminded to shift my focus back to this act to make our marriage the best it can be, model for our children, and be each other’s #1 supporter/encourager/fan! Thank you for sharing and HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!

    August 13, 2015 at 5:01 pm
  64. Cindy M

    Thank you for this encouragement & reminder to cheer my man on & to be his biggest cheerleader. I love my husband & there’s many reasons but the one God spoke to me this morning after reading this is how patient my husband is with me, in my growth & in my not so much growth (when I’m being selfish). He’s loved me through the good & bad sides of me & has taught me a lot on commitment!

    August 13, 2015 at 5:01 pm
  65. Beck

    My husband is a tender and patient lover and sometimes even surprises me with sweet little gifts.
    Thank you for this post. It’s a wonderful reminder to me of who I need to be in a rather difficult season of our life. A place I’d never have believed we’d be after 48 years of marriage.
    Ladies don’t let communication bog down nor take your relationship for granted. It can derail so easily and it’s hard work to get back on track.

    August 13, 2015 at 5:03 pm
  66. Joan Robert

    My husband has lived his life as a man should and now that he is dying of cancer, many people come to tell him how he has encouraged them by walking quietly with the Lord! He has also been a loving, kind, helpful husband who remembers every birthday, anniversary and Valentine’s Day with special, thoughtful gifts. His children are showing their love for him by doing whatever they can to make his life easier. Our 60+ years of marriage have been a joy and we thank God for every day we have had together and I do celebrate the man he is. Every day we tell each other that we love each other! Praise God.

    August 13, 2015 at 5:32 pm
  67. Sarah S

    My husband is the hardest working man I’ve ever met, he never complains, and he never gives up!

    August 13, 2015 at 5:37 pm
  68. Ashley H

    My husband provides for us by working out in the heat everyday and most of the time has to work off so it is a huge sacrifice but he does it for us without complaining much. I am very thankful for him.

    August 13, 2015 at 5:42 pm
  69. Kendall

    My husband is everything I prayed for. He is my Ephesians 5 ♡
    He sanctified, protects and provides.

    August 13, 2015 at 5:52 pm
    1. First of all – I think anyone who sits across from you is probably thinking &#8s80;2heࢩs so beautiful and open. I wish I could be more like Emily…I wonder if she is focused on how I look fat today, that pimple on my cheek, my hair is frizzy isn’t it? She’s never going to like me because I am not open and heartfelt like she is…”

      July 19, 2016 at 3:20 am
  70. Jan Schumacher

    My husband is a servant leader with a gentle spirit. He’s been my biggest fan and has made me laugh for 32 wonderful years.

    August 13, 2015 at 6:13 pm
  71. Carrie

    My husband is a wonderful provider. He also went through a 5 1/2 hour reversal surgery so we could have our daughter and son. He has made many sacrifices over the years and I know that I have not cheered for him near enough!

    August 13, 2015 at 6:47 pm
  72. Jean

    We are coming up on 30 years of marriage (Nov. 2). The years have been tough especially these last 9 after he was injured, disabled and in constant pain. Divorce was knocking at our door. We have both decided to make this marriage work because it was from God and we know that. He has been the funniest person I have ever known and he never eases to amaze me with his zany sense of humor. I am blessed and need a new heart for him. Thank you for your words of encouragement!

    August 13, 2015 at 7:46 pm
  73. Dawn

    We just celebrated our 34th, and he still tells me I’m the most beautiful woman he knows, inside and out. He absolutely adores me!
    What more could I ask for?

    August 13, 2015 at 8:07 pm
  74. Maddi

    My husband loves me know matter what! He accepts me as I am.

    August 13, 2015 at 8:11 pm
  75. Janet

    My husband (of 36 years!) makes me laugh EVERY DAY! 😊 Yep, every-single-day! 😊 Sometimes it is almost impossible…as life & it’s troubles & concerns press in on us…but…somehow he manages to put a smile on my face…every day!! I do love this man that God was so gracious to have brought into my life so many years ago! 💗

    August 13, 2015 at 8:42 pm
  76. Netosha

    I love that my husband is a provider, understanding and affectionate.

    August 13, 2015 at 9:06 pm
  77. Krista Bonestroo

    My husband is a godly man who does what is right and he loves our family with all of his heart. He encourages me, loves me, and leads by example. I am so blessed!

    August 13, 2015 at 9:27 pm
  78. alisa

    My husband works hard, helps me when he can, and has provided for our family-i am very thankful for him!

    August 13, 2015 at 10:38 pm
    1. That FBI informant story is one of a string recently about would-be white supremacists that fizzled despite the SPLC's fondest wishes. Last week, there was the one about the guy threatening to bomb the White House. Obviously Aryan Nation material, of course. But no, he turned out to be Jewish. Then the putatively racist creator of the Obama Joker poster was outed, and turned out to be ..Ptnles.iaian. Then just yesterday, there was the bigoted hick in Arizona who showed up at an Obama speech with an assault rifle slung over his shoulder. Alas, Mark Potok was denied yet again. He was black. 🙁

      July 19, 2016 at 3:19 am
    2. But, what banks offer a LOC or credit card with out a PG. I see what retail companies do. But, what about actual Visa/MC or LOC? Also, you should add a site to what Leasing Equipment companies offering financing without PG. Just a thought.

      November 3, 2016 at 6:27 am
  79. Wendy

    I love my husband because he loves me even on those days when I don’t love myself so much.

    August 13, 2015 at 10:58 pm
    1. Jan, moet een arts die geen abortus wil plegen vanwege gewetensnood dan ook de laan uit? In Nederland kunnen homo’s trouwen, dat ligt vast en aan dat feit zal geen weegmraebtinaar twijfelen of tornen. Die weigerambtenaar doet zich niet voor in enorme groepen, Jan. Laten we elkaar een beetje ruimte geven. Zie ook de reactie van Hendrik-Jan.

      July 19, 2016 at 2:53 am
    2. A large percentage of of whatever you mention is supprisingly legitimate and that makes me wonder why I had not looked at this with this light before. This article truly did turn the light on for me personally as far as this specific subject matter goes. Nevertheless there is actually one particular issue I am not necessarily too cozy with and while I make an effort to reconcile that with the actual main theme of your issue, let me observe exactly what the rest of your readers have to say.Well done.

      July 20, 2016 at 9:08 am
    3. Theaters do not make 50 percent — they are on a sliding scale that starts at what 70-80 percent go to the studios opening weekend. And they are claiming a small loss of 10 percent, which is ridiculous in my opinion. It’s a great movie, it’s an oscar winning movie, an oscar nominated actress and it made 200 million, it’s ridiculous to think that no one made money on this and if you want to buy that, then go ahead.

      October 25, 2016 at 3:35 pm
    4. That’s a brilliant answer to an interesting question

      December 12, 2016 at 5:47 am
    5. Good Afternoon, please add Animus Solutions to the list. A management and IT and software asset management consulting firm. Great and comprehensive list above. Thank you.

      February 2, 2017 at 10:23 am
    6. so does glassware. Once again, I’ve stocked up on glasses for $1 each. I like having basic stems for wine or punch, but I also like all-purpose pub glasses for water, iced tea, or other beverage.

      April 24, 2017 at 1:30 pm
  80. Nicole

    I love how he took the time to wake up early, go to a job interview, come home and have the boys help him change the cars oil, cook dinner and play with the kids even when he was tired 🙂

    August 14, 2015 at 12:43 am
  81. Christy Abbott

    I love my husband because he never gives up and he follows gods heart to help anyone he meets. He loves making people laugh and smile. I loved this blog about being his cheerleader and being his new wife. Thank u lord for my husband and being with us as we continue to grow in our marriage.

    August 14, 2015 at 12:58 am
  82. Liz Rolland

    I have long wanted to make my marriage better and have my husband “love” me the way he did so many years ago. But as you said life & “my” expectations got in the way, and it seems as though we may never get the lost years back. I REALLY needed to hear all of your posts today. I know I have to fall in love with my Savior before our marriage can get any better. I have depended on my husband to be what Jesus has always needed to be in my life, and recently God has begun to talk to me about His love for me. I just need to go deeper with Him. I have had disappointments set in and sometimes feelings of despair, thinking nothing will ever change. But today I have hope!! Thank you!! My husband is a strong man of integrity, a hard worker, and is loyal to our family. I appreciate him so much. His love is always there when I need it the most. Thank you, God!

    August 13, 2015 at 8:49 pm
  83. I loved your devo and this post! Grateful for the work God is doing in you and through. He has taught me a similar lesson and I’m thankful!! What I love about my husband…he always believes in me and supports me – I wouldn’t do half the things I do without him, his encouragement and wisdom. He’s a great Dad for our crew too!!

    August 14, 2015 at 2:21 am
  84. Sarah Wolters

    We have had a rough road however God has done a restoration in our marriage that I never imagined. So thankful for a husband who stuck with it even when there seemed to be no hope! So thankful for a Father who’s grace covers it all! So thankful that God continues, everyday, growing us closer and closer together!

    August 14, 2015 at 2:23 am
  85. Sarah Broehm

    This summer after reading The Mended Heart, I have come to learn so many things about myself, my husband and others. I need to stop expecting others to fill those holes that Jesus will fill. Without these posts and comments, I was feeling so alone in my thinking. Thank you for sharing your advice!

    August 14, 2015 at 4:00 am
  86. Tiffiny Palm

    One thing I love about my husband is how he supports and encourages me, how he wants God’s best for me.
    We have had alot of hard things but it is God who has kept us going. We would take time out from each other, focus on God and pray. Come back together and good would and has sheets worked things out. Everything you mentioned in this blog post I can relate I have been in this weary and frustrating spot for awhile. And what you shared had really encouraged me and helped me

    August 14, 2015 at 5:51 am
  87. Gayle Gettinger

    Alicia, thank you so much for your words. I am where you were, and I am so frustrated that I can’t get out of this depression. I desparately seek the passion we once had, but I know I need the passion for God first. My husband is understanding and so loving and constantly tells me how wonderful I am. Everyday he says he is so thankful God brought me into his life. We will be married 35 years Aug 16 after his car broke down in my town when he was traveling through after been discharged from the Navy. A real love story! It was only God! My ‘clap’ for my husband is when he does something truly unexpected, and I call him my HERO. The first time he just beamed, and I knew that was the kudo that would always make him feel special. See, he is a retired firefighter, and those guys are truly heros!

    August 14, 2015 at 3:58 pm
  88. Whitney S

    My husband is a HARD WORKER and an honest encourager. We just bought a house and he has worked tirelessly to make it ours.

    August 14, 2015 at 6:20 pm
  89. Jenn M

    I love how deep my husband’s love is for my son and I. He has so many amazing qualities that I often forget about them. Thanks for the reminder.

    August 14, 2015 at 6:28 pm
  90. Judy S.

    I love my husband for the selfless person he is but mostly for loving and being patient with me when I’m unlovable. He is a blessing to everyone around and the pride and joy of my heart. I love him also for being a support in my strengths and encouraging me to do better and believe in myself when I think I’ve failed or messed up. Thank you Jesus for this most special blessing.

    August 14, 2015 at 7:28 pm
  91. Tera

    My husband is compassionate and willing to help people, a hard worker and an AWESOME dad!

    August 14, 2015 at 8:46 pm
  92. My husband is the best dad to our three daughters, it melts my heart.

    August 14, 2015 at 10:18 pm
  93. Laurie

    My husband puts up with me on my worst days and loves me even more!

    August 15, 2015 at 3:38 pm
  94. Christa

    My husband can make me laugh no matter how I am feeling. I appreciate that so much! He can turn my unpleasant mood or feelings completely around!

    August 15, 2015 at 8:36 pm
    1. Good post. I learn something more difficult on totally different blogs everyday. It is going to always be stuilmating to learn content from other writers and observe a little bit something from their store. I’d choose to use some with the content on my blog whether you don’t mind. Natually I’ll offer you a link in your internet blog. Thanks for sharing.

      July 19, 2016 at 6:42 am
    2. ஐயா, நீங்க நம்மை ஆளும் அரசைப் பற்றிச் சொல்வது நூறு சதவிகிதம் சரிதான், ஆனால் அதை எதிர்த்து யாரும் குரல் கூட கொடுக்காத நிலையில், போராடி ஜெயித்து கருணாநிதி வைத்தியம் பார்க்கும் அதே அப்போலோவில் சாதாரண குடிமகனும் வைத்தியம் பார்த்துக் கொள்ளும் காலம் என்றைக்கு வரப் போகிறத001000ு? அதுவரை வெறுமனே வாழாதிருக்க வேண்டுமென்று சொல்கிறீர்களா? இன்றைக்கு பத்து பேர் படித்து நல்ல வேலைக்குப் போனால் கூட அந்த குடும்பங்கள் காப்பாற்றப் படுகின்றன அல்லவா? நீங்கள் சொல்லும் பொற்காலம் வரும் அன்று இந்த நடிகர்களையும் எந்த உதவியும் செய்ய வேண்டாமென்று நிறுத்தி விடலாம்.

      July 29, 2016 at 9:32 am
    3. I think you're focusing on the "left the family" part of this when it is more about the "wrote a book about it" part.There are plenty of people who do this, very damn few have the self aggrandizing where-with-all to write a book about what a douchebag they are. Most people have enough of a conscience to be ashamed of such an act and not draw attention to themselves."Hey look at me everyone! I left my family to pursue my selfish interests and now I want to tell you all about it!"

      November 1, 2016 at 3:18 pm
    4. slávek: “majkle, chápu to tak, že jsi mÄ›l nÄ›jaký nepÅ™enositelný osobní prožitek, a proto teď prostÄ› víš, že Bible je doslova pravdivá a je pro tebe skutečnÄ›jší, než skutečnost sama?”ano, zažil jsem vícekrát nÄ›co na co se nezapomíná. nebudu o tom více hovoÅ™it, protože jak říkám, to nemá smysl. musí vám stačit, že si to můžete vyzkouÅ¡et sami. pak budete vÄ›dÄ›t o čem hovořím a pak vám to bude dávat smysl. jinak ne. návod jsem napsal v prvním příspÄ›vku.

      November 25, 2016 at 7:01 pm
  95. Judy

    My husband walks with God and I am so thankful….we get to do God adventures together !

    August 16, 2015 at 12:33 pm
  96. Sharon miller

    I have been married for 47 years, it hasn’t been easy, but my husband has always provided for me and our 3 children. Happy to say they are all grown with Christ filled marriages and great children. I will have to try the clap but not on a ladder, and hopefully that spark that has been getting dimmer will light up our fading marriage. Thanks for your inspiration.

    August 16, 2015 at 1:04 pm
  97. brenda p

    My husband is a God leading man. He will pray for anyone that is seeking prayer. He does dinner when he arrives home early so I do not need to worry. He will even sit with me to watch a “chick movie” with no issue and enjoy it. My Husband is a blessing from God

    August 16, 2015 at 7:22 pm
  98. Pamela

    We celebrated our 22 year wedding anniversary this past Friday. I am so grateful for my husband!! Grateful for how he always cooks for us, for how he knows me better than I know myself, for how he prays for me and points me back to Jesus. I am truly blessed!

    August 17, 2015 at 11:14 am
  99. Mary Jo

    My husband is a wonderful husband and father. He loves me unconditionally and always points our family to God. I’m blessed!

    August 17, 2015 at 4:05 pm
  100. Happy belated anniversary! What an inspiring post – so heartfelt and God-breathed. I love the way my husband (Robbie AKA Rob as well) loves me for me and mostly for the way he loves Jesus.

    August 17, 2015 at 6:34 pm
  101. Alicia Pressley

    My high school sweetheart is now a father, husband and serves the public as a police officer. We were separated 4 years ago and that was the hardest time of my life. We have been back together for 3 years (this month) and God has mended what was broken, and I love my amazing husband more now that I ever have. He is gentle yet strong. He is loving yet tough. He is patient yet motivated. He is my Love and I thank God for him everyday. January 23 will be our 15th wedding anniversary and I may just stand on a chair and cheer!!!!

    August 19, 2015 at 12:06 pm
  102. Terri

    Reading about a praying wife I realize I am gifted and blessed with a wonderful God fearing man! I want to do everything I am created to do to be the wife that God wants me to be.

    February 5, 2016 at 6:32 am
  103. Theresa

    He has such a heart for the poor and forgotten, those the world has cast aside. I don’t know anyone else who has such a kind and gentle heart and a passion for helping the poorest of the poor in Africa.

    July 7, 2016 at 11:52 pm

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