Five Minute Friday: How to Make Your Son’s Heart Soar
I am chopping carrots and stirring the wild rice when he races into the kitchen.
The long day, is not nearly over, but hungry ones cry crabby for something besides the popsicles I’ve been shoving into their hands all afternoon. I push the lunch dishes aside to make room for the pan that holds the chicken cordon blue, and I wonder for the thousandth time why I can’t keep up with the dishwasher, why I’m always one meal behind the mess.
He skitters around the counter, a Lego airplane in his hands. His lips are sputtering engine sounds, the kinds of noises my girls never made, but my boys mastered in the crib. And he’s asking me if I noticed the engine on the backside.
“Do you see it, Mom? Do you like it? The way I placed it right there under the tail wing with those gray blocks that look like metal? This engine doesn’t even need gas, it just runs on water and not even clean water, ’cause that would steal good drinking water from kids who are thirsty, right, Mom? This engine just runs on muddy old water. And this plane carries water to those orphans who are getting sick because they don’t have any clean water to drink. Isn’t that funny, Mom? An airplane running on water so it can bring water to thirsty kids….”
He steps on my toes as he flies that thing around the kitchen and I murmur, “Yeah. Great idea. I love it.”
And I turn to the stove to stir the rice again. And I reach for the dishwasher door, clank clean plates and glasses as I put them back on the shelves.
He’s chattering about pilots and planes and the Lego set that he hopes to buy when he saves enough money.
And his words dangle somewhere just below the to-do-list in my brain.
Oh, I forgot to call the eye doctor for Hannah again today. I wonder if Maggie fed the cat like I asked her. I need to switch the laundry. Luke needs to be picked up at 10:00 tonight. How am I going to do that if the little ones are in bed? I hope Rob makes it home. I need to call the library and renew those books that were due yesterday…
Then he tugs on my hand, the one not sliding a washcloth over the orange juice spills on the counter, and he says, “Mom? Are you listening?”
Yeah, I tell him, casting him a quick smile.
And he stops flying that plane and says it quiet but firm. “I want you to listen to me with your eyes.”
And my stomach drops with the washcloth that I let fall from my fingers onto the filthy floor, and I am awash with conviction. Again.
Wondering how one woman can live with such forgetfulness. How one mama can fail to remember that being home doesn’t automatically put me here. And being around doesn’t necessarily mean I’m available.
So I drop to my knees and look into his green eyes, and I ask, “Could you tell me about this airplane again? About what makes it so special.”
And then he places his homemade creation in my hands and his green orbs, they sparkle, and his spirit–I see it–it soars.
And he inhales slow and deep, like he can finally breathe, here in the present moment with his mom’s listening eyes fixed on him.
Today I’m joining this brave and beautiful bunch for Five-Minute Friday. We gather at Lisa-Jo’s every week to find out what comes out when we all spend five minutes writing on the same topic. No editing. No perfection. Just real. Today’s prompt is PRESENT.
staying at home doesn’t always make me available was the line that struck me. I have a 6 year old boy, sweet in nature, gentle, strong and thankfully resilient to his mama’s shortcomings! I’m not sure if you feel this way, but everyday I’m determined to be more patient, etc and every night I am full of remorse of the many ways I have failed my son. I feel desperate that I’m never learning anything but making the same mistakes everyday. Mostly my prayers are for wisdom, revelation, patience, and to be changed! I am thankful that there are ppl like you who can show ppl like me how to be Godly mothers to our children. I’m always on the look out for resources/ppl that can help me become the kind of mother God wants me to be. God bless you and thank you 🙂
Beautiful and convicting as always.
Thanks, Marty.
Wow, our mama lives aren’t very different. I, too, am guilty of pretending to listen and like your son, mine knows the difference. It is so worthwhile to be fully present, but it is so hard to discipline ourselves to do that. Thanks for the post as a reminder.
I agree, Holly. It IS HARD to pay attention. To REALLY tune in all the time. If only turning off the head noise was like turning down the music or clicking off the television. I need a remote for my brain. Then my kids could just hit “off” for my mental clamor and I’d give them my full attention 🙂 Thanks for understanding this challenge.
One meal always behind – and oh, “listen to me with your eyes” – one of the moments I most regret is when my joyful son crept up behind me in the kitchen around 5th/6th grade to hug me – and in between the pots and pans – and another son’s anger – I shook out of it – letting things that didn’t need to snatch a moment from me – because when they reach a certain age – they don’t sneak up for hugs anymore:) I try to much harder now to “listen with my eyes.” Beautiful post – such a heart message!
Oh, my heart sinks with you at that memory. And, YES, I understand how easy it is to miss those moments that grow fewer and far between. Can’t remember the last time my teen tossed out a hug to me. (Thankfully he’ll return the ones I give still. For now). I always learn so much from you, a wise mom in that house filled with boys!
So beautifully written as usual and SO REAL! Thank you for sharing and helping us REMEMBER to be PRESENT but also making me realize I’m not the only one that struggles with this one. So much to do in so little time but then was I really THERE with them? Chock one up for another wave of guilt when that happens. Thank you for sharing hon! 🙂
Sarah Turnbull
You’re definitely NOT alone in this struggle, Sarah. So glad there’s grace for moms… especially moms who forget to listen. And BE. and Savor. I think you enter into the gift of life far better than most women I know. So glad you stopped by today.
Dear Alicia
The saying goes that we will hear truth from the mouths of babes!! What a beautiful way of telling you that you are not really listening. Priceless.
Luv XX
Mia
Yes, sometimes I hear God the loudest through these little voices trying to break through my mental reverie. Always blessed to have you here, Mia.
Hi! This is a fantastic posting. I think all parents have been there exactly where you are. Thanks so much for sharing it so opening and explaining so vividly!
Patti
Glad you stopped by, Patti!
I have lived this whole event more than I care to admit, because in saying so I admit that my kids are not always in the right position in my heart and mind. Thank you for being honest enough to share it, to say it out loud – to own it.
Thank you for joining the FMF group this was great.
Marissa
I would love for you to share this with my hop if you are interested, or any other post you love for that matter.
http://forfunreadinglist.blogspot.com/2013/07/cozy-reading-spot_11.html
(visiting from FMF) Beautiful. Simply beautiful! But, why did you have go to and make me cry?! “I’m always one meal behind the mess”…and “his words dangle somewhere just below my to-do list” – oh my goodness gracious. So. Sad. But. So. True. (insert mama sigh) Thank you, dear one, for this lovely reminder. Oh how I needed it. This time goes by so fleetingly. I don’t even know if that’s a word, but it’s true. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Love, love.
I think fleetingly SHOULD be a word, because that’s right where we’re living, isn’t it? The to-do list may never end, but these sweet childhoods beneath our roof, they will. Thrilled to meet you through FMF