By Faith
When Luke first arrived, I rode the waves of awe for months. I couldn’t believe he was ours. I’d never loved someone so instantly. I’d never been needed so completely. Motherhood felt like a sail at sunset. And then one day I woke up and realized that I’d never leave the river. For the rest of my life, I would navigate the waters of parenthood. The thought was terrifying. What if I steer the boat in the wrong direction? What if I run into bad weather? What if we never reach our destination? What if my children jump ship? What if my husband does? What if…After twelve years of navigating, I still battle uncertainty. And I still ride waves of awe. Some days motherhood is like white-water-rafting. My boat is bouyed by squeals of delight and laughter. The sun shines with fervor. I can’t imagine anywhere I’d rather be or anything else I’d rather be doing. On those days, I raise my hands in awe and marvel at the gift.
On other days, motherhood is like being lost at sea in a canoe. I am rocked by waves of exhaustion and defeat. I’m battered by the constant tide of my own insufficiency and overwhelmed by the vast stretches of needs that lie before me. Laughter turns to tears, the sun gives way to darkness and delight gives way to despair. I wonder if I will drown in the depths.
But then I see HIM. He is walking on water. Despite the storm, He is not afraid. His eyes speak of sailing in the sunshine and diving in the deep.“Take Heart! I AM.” (Mark 6:50). I step out onto the raging waters. His nail-scarred hands reach for mine. I cling to the hands that shaped the stars. Though the waves still leap, my heart grows quiet. His strength becomes mine. “Oh, Mother of little faith…” (Mark 4:40)
“I DO BELIEVE,” I cry. “Help my Unbelief!” (Mark 9:24)
And the adventure continues. By Faith.
Today’s Overflow: “And He arose and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, Hush now! Be Still… and there was a great calm.” Mark 4:39
